Sean Allen Jennings


Divorce sucks. Ask just about anybody.

She gets the kids and the house, he gets the bills.

38-year-old Sean Allen Jennings decided that wasn’t how it was going to work in his case.

No, no, no. He had a special plan.

On the 7th of October, 2007, Sean Jennings started building a haunted house in the garage for his two kids to enjoy on Halloween.

Sean told his wife, who uses a wheelchair on a regular basis, that he needed her to take a few steps up on a ladder and measure a rope he was planning to use to hang a plastic skeleton from a beam in the garage ceiling. Of course he couldn’t just let her walk into the garage, he needed her to go in blindfolded.

He said that it was going to be a surprise.

Because this is People You’ll See In Hell, you know she did it.

She was a few steps up on the ladder, with the blindfold still on when Sean Jennings put handcuffs on her and slipped a noose around her neck.

Sean Jennings’ wife started to cry out and beg her husband to take the handcuffs off, which prompted him to turn on a radio sitting on a workbench and drown out her cries.

The next thing she heard was metal scraping on concrete as the ladder was pushed out from under her feet.

She hung there for a while, crying and begging her husband to help her. Some people don’t realize that it’s not the choking that kills someone when they’re hung, it’s the sudden drop that breaks the subject’s neck.

That’s why you watch the History channel, folks. You learn all sorts of things.

Sean Jennings watched his wife suffer for a few minutes as she choked and tried to keep herself up on the tips of her toes. He kept a running commentary going as his wife was dying in front of him, saying that what he was doing was better than divorce. He mentioned that when the kids found out, it would look like she had been depressed and hung herself – especially after he wrote a note explaining why she would commit suicide and signed her name on it.

Sean suggested that she should really just give up and make it easier on herself, because she was going to pass out soon anyways.

She didn’t pass out, though. Sean had a change of heart just as she started to lose consciousness and helped her down, after she promised him that she wouldn’t get a divorce and wouldn’t say anything about what happened to anyone.

Sean Jennings then told her that he was sorry.

It was all better and they lived happily ever after.

No wait, it wasn’t, and they didn’t.

Sean attempted to cover up his crime by making his wife put aloe vera on the rope burns and having her wear a neck brace to hide the marks.

Although she was terrified of what he would do, on Tuesday, the 9th of October, 2007, Sean Jennings’ wife summoned her courage and called police from a public phone at the local Wal-Mart.

She told the authorities what her husband had done to her. The officers took pictures of her neck injury and the bruises on her hands and wrists.

Jennings was arrested that night, denying his wife’s accusations to the last despite the discovery of the handcuffs, rope, ladder, and bandanna that had been serving as her blindfold.

He has been charged with attempted first-degree murder.

Update:

On the 5th of September, 2008, Sean Allen Jennings was sentenced to 12 years in prison. Sean Jennings pled guilty to second-degree attempted murder in exchange for a reduction in the severity of charges. Sean Jennings originally was charged with first-degree attempted murder.


Amon Paul Carlock

Have I mentioned that I hate clowns?

57-year-old Amon Paul Carlock, or “Klutzo the Clown” as he likes to be called, is a perfect example of why.

We’ll be the first to admit that he’s had an interesting life.

Amon Paul Carlock has worked for over 20 years in law enforcement.

He’s been a participant in the Big Brother program. He’s a member of the local Lion’s Club.

He’s been a clown, a magician, a youth counselor and a minister.

Most recently he’s been a pedophile and a child pornographer.

In this eerily prophetic photograph, Klutzo the Clown was “incarcerated” to help the Muscular Dystrophy Association.
Klutzo goes behind bars

On a little clowning trip to the Philippines, Amon Paul Carlock visited an orphanage that he had been to some years before – the House of Joy orphanage in San Isidro. He visited orphanages in other countries on a regular basis often, like the Mexican orphanage he visited in 2002.

Upon his return in the San Francisco Airport on the 12th of June, 2007, because he was coming from a country known for its sexual exploitation of children and because he had gone to places in that country where he had access to young children, customs agents decided to search through his bags – specifically his electronic devices.

Klutzo the clownOn Amon Carlock’s computer and digital camera, officials discovered a number of digital photographs of naked boys. Some were playing, some were showering. Some were just sitting there without their pants on. Some of the boys knew they were having their pictures taken, others didn’t look like they knew what was going on.

Amon Paul Carlock explained the photos as natural photos that showed how the children lived. He explained that the pictures were going to show Americans that some children in other countries are too poor to afford clothes. He explained that he was going to edit them so that they would be more appropriate to share with others in his ministry.

He explained that the program called Evidence Eliminator was suggested by a friend and was really just there to get rid of old files that he didn’t need anymore.

The thing that he couldn’t really explain was why the only editing that had been done so far was to digitally enlarge the parts of the photos with the boys’ genitalia, though. That one stumped him.

Klutzo scaring little girlArrested? Nope. Investigated? Yes.

Investigators went to the House of Joy. They asked the boys there if Amon Paul Carlock had done anything weird.

Three boys said that they woke up to Mr. Carlock playing with their genitalia, and that it was pretty weird.

That was enough to get a search warrant for Amon Paul Carlock’s home, which was executed on the 28th of September, 2007. During that raid, authorities found over 21 movies of child pornography on six DVD discs.

After Amon Paul Carlock’s wife mentioned that he was involved in the local Big Brother program, police interviewed the 6-year-old boy who had been meeting with Mr. Carlock for two months. The boy mentioned that Amon Paul Carlock had given him two DVD discs. One of the DVDs had pictures of the boy and Mr. Carlock fishing. The other disc had pictures of naked Filipino children. Both DVDs were recovered by police.

On the ninth of October, Amon Paul Carlock was arrested, charged with possessing child pornography and sex tourism, and taken to court.

While there, he announced that his wife had filed for divorce on the 4th of October.

County records verified that she did, citing Amon Carlock’s “extreme and repeated mental cruelty.”

Amon Paul Carlock has (had) quite the Internet presence: http://klutzo.com/index.html

Here’s another website of his featuring Klutzo and his wife, “Smiley the Clown” :

http://www.clowncapers.esmartkid.com/index.html

Back in December of 1986, Amon Paul Carlock wrote a letter to the local newspaper decrying the content of a cartoon that had been printed in that newspaper.

I am not in favor of censorship, but do feel that far too much ‘smut’ has been poured into the minds of Americans by all forms of media.

I have spent the past 16 years in law enforcement and related professions. I have spoken with victims and offenders and have read many case histories in which pornographic materials played an overwhelming role in the events that have left lives shattered and homes broken.

Why is it so unreasonable to assume the government has the right to protect the public from the harmful effects of pornography, especially in light of the vast amounts of evidence to support this claim?

That’s one eloquent pedophile, right there, yes sir.

Danny Thomas Goldston

49-year-old Danny Thomas Goldston is a bad, bad man.

Men who abduct, beat on and rape women usually are.

A resident of a men’s shelter, Danny Thomas Goldston came across two people sleeping on the front steps of a church on the night of the 15th of September, 2007. One was a homeless man.

The other was a homeless woman that he’d had a relationship with and still wanted a piece of.

What else is a lonely homeless guy to do?

The homeless man that was sleeping beside the woman woke up to find Danny Thomas Goldston feeling a little stabby. Before he was able to get away, he had been stabbed near the center of his chest, cut on the chin and been slashed on the forehead and all over his right arm.

We don’t know what Danny Goldston said during the attack, but considering the types of things homeless people usually say to me, it probably went something along the line of, “I want my pickle! Gimme the pickle! French cheese! Catty-fish-pickle!”

Quite the surreal experience for the rudely-woken homeless guy, I’m sure.

The homeless guy was able to get away and find a friend, and together they called the police. One dialed the odd numbers and the other dialed the even ones. The police were told that there had been a female homeless person sleeping on the steps, but now there was not, and they didn’t know what happened to her. It was possible that a guy named “Danny” had taken her.

Take her Danny did. Danny Goldston took her to a wooded area near an Amtrak station just after midnight, and feeling the romance of the scene had just about climaxed, raped the poor woman at knifepoint for the next two days.

Evidently feeling that rape just wasn’t enough fun for him, Danny Goldston also beat his captive. He beat her so badly that when she was found at about 7 in the morning on the 17th of September, 2007, her teeth were shattered.

This isn’t the first time Danny Goldston had assaulted women, as he has a number of arrests on his record for that, as well as possession of stolen goods, breaking and entering, and probation violations. While he’d be completely qualified for the Mayor of Washington D.C., a law-abiding taxpayer he is not.

The woman was treated at a local hospital and a rape kit was completed.

Danny Thomas Goldston was found, identified by both the man who was stabbed and the woman who was raped.

A rape kit was completed on him, with samples of DNA taken from him for comparison with the DNA taken from the woman.

Danny Goldston was charged with five counts of first-degree rape, two counts of first-degree sex offense and one count of first-degree kidnapping, assault with a deadly weapon and assault inflicting serious injury.

His bail is three million dollars, so if you’re so inclined – get that second mortgage on your house and free Danny Goldston!

Glen Edward Sutton

Take a good long look at what 53-year-old Glen Edward Sutton used to look like.

Right now, compared to that picture, he’s a little paler, a little bloodier, and has a hole in his head.

Glen Sutton, a level-3 sex offender who lived in Bennet, Nebraska, was working at Kabredlos, a convenience store on the northwest side of Lincoln.

On Saturday, the sixth of October, 2007, at about two in the afternoon, Glen Sutton let his sexual urges take control and, while he was supposed to be working, molested a 10-year-old boy who had come into the store.

The boy reported the incident to his mother as soon as he got home. His mother, in turn, contacted the police, who opened an investigation.

A Lincoln police officer went to the store at about 10 in the evening to pick up the surveillance tape for the investigation. Because the police officer was a former state correctional officer, he recognized Glen Sutton from the prison and talked to him for a bit.

After a while, the officer told Glen Sutton that he needed to pick up the surveilance tape that showed the day’s activity for the store. Glen went to the back, got the tape, came back and gave it to the officer, who went outside and called the detective in charge of the investigation.

As the officer was outside, Glen Sutton went into the back room, grabbed a gun and shot himself.

Glen Sutton hadn’t been notified that he was under investigation for anything.

But he knew what he did. He knew it was wrong.

There’s really only one thing that I can think of that Nebraska (and the world) would want to thank Glen Edward Sutton for.

He saved us all some trouble.

No expensive trial, no long investigation that traumatizes the boy victim. No long-term feeding costs and medical care costs for a non-rehabilitated, aging sexual offender who doesn’t care to change.

Now if he had only felt the same impulse before he decided to molest the boy…but then this wouldn’t be much of a blog now, would it?

Alicia Visscher

Ok, so you’re going to Disneyland.

Change of clothes? Check!

Credit cards? Check!

Park passes? Check!

Family pets?

Whoops, forgot something there.

30-year-old Alicia Visscher, a healthy eater, left her three dalmatians tied up in her backyard while she went on a three-day trip to Disneyland.

One must wonder what was going on inside her head as she was wandering around Disneyland.

“Hmmm, did I leave the oven on? Noo…that couldn’t have been it. Maybe I didn’t take out the trash? No, I know I took out the trash. Did I leave the water running in the sink? No….hmmm….think think think…..oh look! A fried twinkies on a stick kiosk!”

Neighbors complained to police about the constant barking that was coming from Alicia Visscher’s property. Police arrived, checked out the property and discovered that there was no food or water anywhere for the animals, who were in bad shape.

The 13-year-old dalmatian “Alex” was covered with ticks and open, infected sores and had to be euthanized.

4-year-old “Freckles” had severe skin problems and showed obvious signs of neglect.

2-year-old “Sam” was evaluated and deemed to be ok.

The two surviving dogs were taken in by animal services and are being treated until they can be adopted out to someone who knows how to take care of their animals.

Alicia Visscher was arrested and charged with one count of felony animal cruelty and two counts of improper confinement of animals.

She was released on bond.

Tyler Peterson

I like parties. Most people do.

It seems that 20-year-old Tyler Peterson did not. At least he didn’t like this one.

On the seventh of October, at about 2:45 in the morning, Tyler Peterson – a new deputy who had just been hired onto the Forest County Sheriff’s department – walked into the middle of a party in Crandon, Wisconsin, a small town of about 2000 people.

Seven people whose ages ranged from 14 to 20 were gathered at this white, two-story duplex. Some of them were current high school students. Some of them were recent graduates. They were all having a good time, eating pizza and watching movies.

One of them was Tyler Peterson’s 18-year-old ex-girlfriend, Jordanne Murray, who had graduated from High School in 2006. The couple had broken up a week ago and it is rumored that she was now dating another officer.

Tyler Peterson and Jordanne Murray had an argument, a loud one, and Tyler left when other people attending the party started yelling at him and calling him a “worthless pig.”

Tyler walked back to his truck, got his police-issued AR-15 rifle and stalked back to the apartment.

Tyler Peterson, who was also a part-time officer with the Crandon Police Department, walked into the party, pulled out a weapon and opened fire, shooting as many people as he could.

By the time the last of the initial shots rang out, 30 rounds had been fired, 6 innocents were dead and several more were injured.

Four girls and two boys were dead.

14-year-old Lindsey Stahl was one of the people killed by Tyler. According to her mother, Jenny Stahl, Lindsey had called her on Saturday night and asked if she could sleep over at a friend’s house.

The first officer who responded to the shooting was shot at by Tyler Peterson. Fortunately for that officer, he just received superficial wounds from bullet-shattered glass fragments.

One of the luckier young men, 21-year-old Charlie Neitzel, survived because he played dead after being shot three times.

Tyler Peterson’s ex-girlfriend wasn’t so lucky, as she was one of the kids gunned down.

Tyler Peterson drove off, out of town. It’s possible that he was heading to his parent’s house in a nearby town to say goodbye.

Once the situation had been recognized as a shooting, the town of Crandon was placed on lockdown until the shooter was found.

Because Tyler Peterson had a police radio, the pursuing officers had a hard time catching him – but in the end they did.

At about 7.30 in the morning, Tyler Peterson showed up at Mike Kegley’s house, which was a few miles north of Crandon. Mike Kegley’s son had been a friend of Tyler since they’d both been boys, and Tyler felt somewhat comfortable there.

Tyler Peterson told the Kegley family what he had done and expressed his remorse. Nevertheless, the Kegley’s snuck out a call to 911 and let the authorities know that there was a desperately wanted man sitting in their kitchen.

Attempts by the Kegleys to convince Tyler to give up and turn himself in fell on deaf ears.

Tyler left, came back and had some breakfast and coffee with the Kegleys, telling them that they were in no danger, but refusing to relinquish the pistol he had tucked into his pants.

The Kegleys called 911 again.

By this time, people that worked for Mike Kegley’s construction company had showed up to his house and were doing whatever it is that people who work for a living do. Many of them noticed that Tyler Peterson was on the property and they called 911 many, many times.

After a while, Tyler got tired and took a nap in the back of his truck.

Workers were still calling 911.

At about 1 in the afternoon, law enforcement officers had finally arrived, surrounding about 200 miles worth of space around the Kegley’s property. They set themselves up in the woods around the home and waited.

Tyler Peterson woke up and wandered off into the woods with his pistol. Tyler was shot by a police sniper once in the arm before he put his pistol under his chin and pulled the trigger twice, then put the gun to his temple and pulled the trigger a final time.

Tyler Peterson died at approximately 2 in the afternoon, almost 12 hours after the massacre.

We received a message from someone who knew the victims, here it is in its entirety:

a young new cop was off duty and went into his ex’s apartment and shot her and five other people. it was crazy. he fled and try to shoot another cop but missed and then a few miles to a smaller town and held people hostage and a sniper cop shot him and now he’s gone which is good. all the kids were younger than me but i knew family members of all the kids. it’s a very sad day in our town right now. this happened 2 houses away from my grandma’s house. just a block off main street by the post office and teh cop shop. just very shocking and hurt by all this.

If you’re interested in becoming a deputy for the Forest County Sheriff’s Department, now would be a good time to apply.

Claire Lyte

It seems that female pedophiles have been coming out of the woodwork lately.

Take 29-year-old Claire Lyte, for example. She’s a a former tennis coach at the Lawn Tennis Association academy in Loughborough, which is somewhere in England.

Evidently a good tennis coach, as she was named Young Coach of the Year back in 2001.

Well, now she’s facing five counts of sexual activity with a child.

The victim was 13, back in October of 2005, when she and Claire Lyte were getting it on at the girl’s house one night while the teen’s mother was out at a party.

This would be normal if Claire Lyte were, say, a boy between the ages of 13 and 15.

For a 29-year-old woman…not so much.

The good times came to an end when the teen’s mother came home early from the party and discovered the two lovebirds having sex in the girl’s bedroom.

From the mother’s testimony at the trial:

I walked into the room and saw my daughter and Claire naked on the bed. I was in complete shock and I screamed and they became aware that I was there. My daughter jumped up and ran off and Claire pulled the bed sheet over her head. I was screaming at Claire, ‘Get out, what have you done, what have you done to my child, you are nothing but a paedophile’. They came downstairs dressed and my daughter sat down in a chair and curled into a ball, Claire sat with her head in her hands.

To be perfectly honest, this teenager’s mother wasn’t completely accurate when she called Claire Lyte a pedophile. The term for someone who is attracted to teenagers is “Ephebophile.” Not that this changes the wrongness of the activity, but I like to be accurate when I can and when I’m in the mood.

I’m not entirely sure about the girl’s honesty. She’s testified that Claire Lyte forced her into a sexual relationship with the threat of harming the teen’s tennis career and getting her kicked out of the academy. When the girl was questioned by the police back when the event happened, she said that the sex had just been a one-time thing

Another odd thing about this situation is that while Claire Lyte was given an official warning by the administration at the academy regarding her closeness to the young girl, she remained the girl’s coach and the two attended all sorts of tennis tournaments together for about a year after her mother caught them.

John David Roy Atchison Takes The Easy Way Out

You may remember John David Roy Atchison, the guy who was arrested by authorities after getting off his airplane with a Dora the Explorer doll and a jar of Vaseline after arranging to meet with what he thought was a mother who was going to turn her 5-year-old daughter over to him for a night of sexual perversity.

John Atchison tried to kill himself, but an alert inmate called the correctional officers before Mr. Atchison was able to hang himself.

Apparently John Atchison is one pedophile who was determined to make the world a better place.

Mr. Atchison, being housed in the Federal Correctional Institution in Milan, Michigan, was found by correctional officers in his cell on the morning of the 5th of October, 2007.

He was unresponsive, as people who hang themselves to death tend to be.

His attorney has this to say:

This is a man who has done a lot of good in his life. Unfortunately, he is going to be judged by his most recent charges and what we have read in the media, and not by the goodness, hard work or by the love of his family.

Due to the fact that John David Roy Atchison is now dead, Justice Department spokeswoman Gina Balaya has announced that the case is now closed and the government will no longer pursue charges.

Uniquea Davis, Desiree Levering and Mary Likely

Yo yo yo boyyyyyyyyz!

Da sistas in da HIZOUZ!

At about 5:30 in the evening, on the third of October, 2007, three ghetto girls living in Omaha, 14-year-old Uniquea Davis, 15-year-old Desiree Levering and 15-year-old Mary Likely, stepped into the middle of 25th Street, near Corby Avenue.

All three girls were ninth-graders attending Blackburn Alternative High School. You can’t blame them for not understanding basic traffic rules. They’re practically retarded when it comes to living in civilized society…of course, they function just fine on the streets of North Omaha.

They stepped in front of 21-year-old Amber Blakeman’s car, a 1988 Chevrolet Cavalier.

Amber Blakeman and her family were in the process of moving to a new home in north Omaha (which was their first mistake) and Amber had the car loaded down with some things they had just bought for their new residence.

Amber also had her 10-month-old baby boy in the car with her. His name is Cayden.

Surprised at the unusual activity in front of her, Amber Blakeman stopped her car, not wanting to run over the three thugs (which was another mistake).

One of the girls went around to the passenger side door while the other two went to the driver’s side door and talked to Amber through the window. The one girl said that they wanted a ride.

Amber Blakeman, sensibly, said no.

It’s too bad her car didn’t come equipped with The Blaster.

The next thing said was probably something along the line of “Nuh-uh! You dinna dis my sistah like dat!” and then both doors of Amber Blakeman’s car were flung open and the beating began.

One of the girls got into the passenger seat and beat on Amber while the two other girls also hit and kicked at her while trying to pull her out of the car by her hair – while Amber still had her seatbelt on.

Despite Amber screaming for help, nobody stepped in to stop the carjacking. Nobody called 911, nobody said anything.

They started pulling on my hair, hitting on my face and they started covering my nose and mouth with their hands because I was screaming for help, I was trying to get someone to help.

Just another day on the streets of North Omaha.

Amber, while getting beaten down, pleaded with the girls to let her get out and get her baby out of the car.

I kept telling them you can have the car, but I want my son, just give me my son and you can have the car. They weren’t listening, they just kept hitting me and trying to get me out of the car.

According to Amber, one of the girls said that they had a brick and that they were going to beat her face in with it if she didn’t shut up.

They said this while hitting her in the face with a brick, which broke her glasses.

When you have three fat girls fighting with and pulling on one skinny girl, the good money is on the three fat girls. Eventually Uniquea Davis, Desiree Levering and Mary Likely were able to get Amber Blakeman out of the car.

All three girls jumped in the car –which still had 10-month-old Cayden Blakeman inside – and drove off.

About half a block away from Amber Blakeman, they threw the baby out of the car and kept driving.

A frantic Amber Blakeman couldn’t find her son at first. Adrenaline does that sometimes, giving you tunnel vision when you’re saturated with it.

As her head cleared, Amber started running down the street after the car, trying to find her son. Following the screaming cries, she found Cayden in the yard of an abandoned home, which are quite common in North Omaha.

I heard him screaming so that’s how I found him, I went and followed his crying.

Amber Blakeman, reunited with her son, ran into a community center nearby and called the police. An ambulance took her and Cayden to a local hospital, where they were bandaged up and let go.

At around 10 that night, police caught up with Uniquea Davis, Desiree Levering and Mary Likely around the area of 43rd and Lake. The three girls were still in the car.

They seemed to be proud about what they’d done. As they were being booked into the Douglas County Youth Center, they laughed and joked and danced around. After being told that a carjacking charge was a serious offense, their response was, “Whatever.”

During questioning, the three girls proudly detailed how they punched Amber Blakeman in the face and hit her with a brick.

Very proud, indeed – until Douglas County Judge Stephen Swartz decided that the three would be tried as adults and set the bail for each girl at $250,000.

That got their attention.

Uniquea Davis started to cry as she was escorted out of the courtroom, so although Uniquea wants everyone to think that “she’s da boss,” she’s evidently not as tough as her MySpace page would like to make us think:

{Damn All Bitches Wanna Hate On Me What For Though I See You Out There Scoping Me Like A Hawk But What You Must Want Yo Ass Kicked}

The latest mood she reports on her MySpace page is “Happy.” I wonder if she’ll get to change that anytime soon?

Desiree Levering’s foster mother wasn’t able to show up to the hearing. Desiree Levering seems to think she’s a queen. Her MySpace page insists she is “the one and only queen.”

Mary Likely’s mom held Mary’s hand during the hearing and cried as her idiot daughter was led away. Mary Likely’s MySpace page (her name is “u kn0 i k33p d@t WhIt3 GuRl”) has this bit of wisdom to impart:

what up this ya gurl mary aka too fly or mrs.hoova…….me ima coo person not negative unless i have to be never a follower if i choose to do something that means thats what im intrested in. Im a husler stay on da grind gettin cake so i dont need nobodi eleses. i dont like to use people ill only use u if u ask me to and ill never ask to be used so i dont expect to be used.I keep it 100% all day every day when i say somethin and u say im lyin i say what i gotta lye 4 cuz if u lye u a curb if u gotta lye just dont talk right…right. Im coo if u dont see dat den duces if u do get at me 1

Props to Blackburn Alternative High School for churning out students capable of such fine eloquence!

The preliminary hearing for the three girls will be held on the 13th of November.

Update:

Desiree Levering and Mary Likely, now 15 and 16, were both charged as adults with robbery and child abuse. During a hearing in February of 2008, they laughed and carried on during the proceedings. Mary Likely’s mother blamed her daughter’s behavior on brain damage caused by lead poisoning.

Levering and Likely, pled guilty to assault on a correctional officer. For that, they will be sentenced on the 29th of August, 2008.

The robbery and child abuse charges against the girls have been dropped, however – due to the fact that prosecutors cannot contact the victim of the crime, Amber Blakeman.

Daniel Barron

56-year-old Daniel Barron, a CBS sports television producer, had a problem.

Several problems, actually.

One, Daniel Barron is a pedophile.

Two, he didn’t have kid around to molest.

Three, he had an extra pair of Dolphins tickets sitting around, unused.

Pretty tough problems to solve, really. I’d imagine the first one could be solved by dragging him out back behind the barn and shooting him, but we don’t do that anymore. The third problem could be solved by burning the tickets, because, really, who wants to go to a Dolphins game? They were 6 and 10 in 2006, and they’re 0 and 4 so far in the 2007 season. NOBODY CARES!

Daniel Barron attempted to solve his second problem by using a CBS-issued computer while sitting in his CBS television producer truck, going online into a chat room titled “Open minded parents,” and asking the “parents” he found there if he could borrow their young daughters for a night.

Daniel Barron talked to one “parent” in particular who happened to be an undercover detective posing as a father with an imaginary 11-year-old girl. This “father” mentioned that he was a Dolphins fan.

“Ding,” went the bell in Daniel Barron’s head, as he offered two tickets to the upcoming game on Sunday in exchange for the “father” allowing Daniel to have sex with the 11-year-old.

After some negotiation, Daniel Barron even got the “father” to agree with letting Daniel sleep naked with the girl for a night, after Daniel mentioned that he was really, really looking forward to meeting the girl and promised that he would be “very gentle with her.”

Daniel Barron followed the “father’s” directions, hopped into his car and drove to a Fort Lauderdale hotel parking lot on the 30th of September, 2007. Instead of finding an 11-year-old and her Dolphin-fan father, however, he found several large police officers waiting for him with handcuffs.

After the arrest, Daniel folded in the interrogation room, admitted to using his work computer to download and trade child pornography and told police that the computer could be found in his TV production truck at the Miami Dolphin Stadium.

Daniel Barron was charged with solicitation to commit sexual battery on a child under the age of 12.