As those of you who are “in the know” know, 54-year-old Gillian Gibbons, an English schoolteacher working in Sudan, has been jailed for 15 days.

Her crime? Allowing her students to name a teddy bear “Mohammed” after a poll taken of the students in her class showed that they wanted to name the bear “Mohammed.”

INFIDEL!

Well, after hearing that Gillian Gibbons had been jailed for a mere 15 days (even though jails in Sudan, as you can imagine, are no picnic) thousands of practitioners of the “religion of peace” marched in the streets of Sudan’s capital with knives and clubs, denouncing the “lenient verdict” and calling for Gillian’s death.

Shame, shame on the U.K. No tolerance: Execution. Kill her, kill her by firing squad.

Here’s 24-year-old Lamar Platt.

Ladies: he’s available.

From Lamar Platt’s MySpace page:

About me:
23 Male,bronx ny, 6′-2″ tall, braids for about a year and a half, sheo size “12″, dating

Who I’d like to meet:
Female, slim, smart, sexy.

Do you fit the bill?

If so, you might want to get moving, as Lamar Platt has been arrested and charged with one count of first-degree murder and two counts of second-degree murder. And a weapons possession charge. Can’t forget about that.

So you’ll have to get used to conjugal visits.

Now, there is a positive side to entering into a relationship with Mr. Platt: you won’t have to worry about having meddlesome in-laws.

Jeanette Hawes is sad.

She has any number of reasons to be sad.

One reason she’s sad might be that her brother’s pit bull was killed.

If you’ll take a look at this story here, Jeanette Hawes in Augusta, Georgia tells the press that her neighbor didn’t have to stab her brother’s dog.

She didn’t have to go that far. She could’ve ran and called police, got help, or whatever.

I certainly agree, Jeanette Hawes.

(For posterity’s sake, and just in case the story gets lost or misplaced somehow, we’re going to copy and paste the story containing the mention of Jeanette Hawes – please forgive us, it’ll make sense later)

There are more than a few ways to get yourself a ticket to Hell.

40-year-old Kenneth Monroe Owens has definitely earned his.

Early in the morning on the 11th of November, 2007, he showed up at the door of his ex-girlfriend, 54-year-old Carolyn Barnette.

Carolyn Barnette, a grandmother with numerous health problems, had her grandson, 11-year-old Troy Conn, spending the night at her house on the morning of the 11th of November, 2007. While school was out, Troy was taking the opportunity to spend a little time with grandma.

A regular church-going woman, she doted on her grandchildren, talking about them constantly to friends the way proud grandmothers do. Even when her health problems kept her house-ridden, she loved to watch them play and would regularly watch over them at her house.

After being convicted of two counts of capital sexual battery in June of 2007, Kelly Lumadue, one of the first people featured on People You’ll See In Hell, is going to be re-tried.

Circuit Judge Clayton Simmons decided that because of “overly aggressive” questioning by a prosecutor, the fact that the victim doesn’t remember his abuse and because she claimed to have been forced by her husband into having sex with a five-year-old, that Kelly Lumadue was entitled to a new trial.

According to the Judge:

The fact that the defendant faces a Draconian punishment for a crime where the victim is alive and apparently living a normal life some eleven years after the criminal act, when criminals who have killed people are released from prison almost daily, makes it even more imperative that the defendant receive a fair and impartial trial.

Future holiday get-togethers are going to be a little awkward for this family.

27-year-old Joseph Miller and 24-year-old Nikki Reed lived with their five boys, all of whom were younger than five years of age.

Well, that was what they reported to the State Department of Human Services, at least.

Relatives of the family hadn’t seen the youngest, one-year-old Deuntay Miller, for a while.

Two years, in fact.

They were beginning to wonder if the little guy was dead. While Miller and Reed told family members that the boy was being taken care of by relatives, Tammy Johnson, Joseph Miller’s sister, told relatives:

I’m getting the feeling that the baby is not alive.

Here’s 25-year-old Yara Belen Perez.

Does she look depressed to you?

When asked by local reporters, a neighbor thought that she looked depressed.

During the weekend I did see her up on the ledge there, and she was just smoking a cigarette and she looked kind of depressed. I didn’t think much of it. It’s just the way she looks.

Yara Perez lived in an apartment with her two daughters, three-year-old Jacqueline Gonzalez and five-year-old Yara.

Also living in the apartment and rounding out this modern-day Brady Bunch was Francisco Castaneda, Yara Perez’s common-law husband and the love of her life, according to Yara’s MySpace page.

Both Yara Perez and Francisco Castaneda have a history of incidents with family members.

For those of you who don’t follow the comments in the sidebar, there’s one comment writer who has, shall we say, a certain eloquence about her responses.

Here’s a sample of her work: