Mohammed the Stuffed Pig
As those of you who are “in the know” know, 54-year-old Gillian Gibbons, an English schoolteacher working in Sudan, has been jailed for 15 days.
Her crime? Allowing her students to name a teddy bear “Mohammed” after a poll taken of the students in her class showed that they wanted to name the bear “Mohammed.”
INFIDEL!
Well, after hearing that Gillian Gibbons had been jailed for a mere 15 days (even though jails in Sudan, as you can imagine, are no picnic) thousands of practitioners of the “religion of peace” marched in the streets of Sudan’s capital with knives and clubs, denouncing the “lenient verdict” and calling for Gillian’s death.
Shame, shame on the U.K. No tolerance: Execution. Kill her, kill her by firing squad.
That’s not very nice.
I suppose the Sudanese would have felt better had England rushed to apologize for one of its citizens inadvertently “mocking” a religion that stole from the most idiotic parts of both Christianity and Judaism, and was created by an insane “prophet” during an epileptic seizure one fine spring day.
After all, we don’t want to insult an insane group of folks who would love to see the culture that eclipsed theirs burned to the ground.
Good thing Gillian Gibbons didn’t get raped. She might have been given 200 lashes.
As a demonstration of solidarity with schoolteachers everywhere who desire to name stuffed animals after Mohammed, I bring you – Mohammed the Stuffed Pig.
Mohammed the Stuffed Pig: Plush Be Upon Him
Following the news that in the highly progressive tyrannical genocidal regime of Sudan, a British teacher has been charged with blasphemy for allowing kids in her class to name a teddy bear Mohammed, it’s pretty clear that Sudan is not happy with the idea of a Teddy Bear named Mohammed. That makes sense since there are no bears in the Quran, there are pigs though and so I generously give the people of Sudan their prophet in plush pig form.
That’ right, it’s Mohammed the Stuffed Pig PBUH (Plush Be Upon Him), a respectful tribute to Islam’s greatest fake prophet. In many ways Prophet Mohammed Stuffed Pig Edition is a major improvement on the real thing.
While he is made out of plush and will be adored by children, he won’t respond by trying to marry your 6 year old daughters because “Allah Told Him To”. This makes him child-friendly, unlike the real Mohammed, who was the whole other kind of “Child Friendly” that you don’t want around your kids.
Mohammed the Stuffed Pig may cost an arm and a leg but he won’t try to chop off your arms and legs because you’re all filthy infidels, unlike the real Mohammed. Also he won’t raid and rob you, steal your goats or any of the other fun activities the real Mohammed was noted for.
It seems as if Muslims get so obsessively outraged over every imagined slight to their crazy made up religion because they haven’t had enough people offending them on a regular basis. Being regularly offended requires either going murderously insane or developing a thick skin. Muslims have been making a good go at the former but aren’t anywhere near the latter.
Perhaps offending them more on a regular basis will push them one way or another, either into a state of weary tolerance where the imagined sight of their deity’s name in the swirls of a fast food’s chain ice cream or a cartoon of their bearded prophet no longer sends them scrambling madly for their swords and detonators or into outright insanity in which Muslims wander the streets like zombie mobs roaring at everyone and trying to eat them alive. Either one would be a vast improvement over today.
FYI: Nobody associated with PYSIH.com wrote the fantastically-written piece featured above. It was authored by a blogger who calls himself Sultan Knish (Love the name, like Rabbi Koos Koos). If you’d like to check out the Sultan’s website, click here
44 Comments »
Disappointing, PYSIH, and unworthy of you. First of all because Islam isn’t any more made up than any other faith that’s endured for centuries. It’s no more or less idiotic than Christianity or Judaism – faiths also invented, or at least whose tenets were recorded, by mere humans.
Secondly, because your pig piece isn’t “fantastically-written” at all, but a nasty big of bigotry that only contributes to an already dangerous situation for Gillian Gibbons. Ms. Gibbons remains in serious danger until, or unless, she leaves Sudan. Inflaming that situation in any way is not only stupid, but a vicious thing to do while she remains in harm’s way.
Thirdly, though Ms. Gibbons’ situation is horrific, because anyone who chooses to live in another culture – particularly a repressive one – and who fails to do basic homework regarding that culture is foolish, foolish, foolish. The world has become a treacherous place for those who assume that their world view is the only one.
I dearly hope Ms. Gibbons escapes from this incident as relatively unscathed as she seems to be as of today, and that no others suffer as a result of this incident. Shame on you, though, admins, for publishing this bit of hateful, pointless, and potentially dangerous, drivel.
don’t listen to the pussy above, this was a great read!
We here at PYSIH do not like militant Islam at all. We’re not fans of any religion, except perhaps Pastafarianism.
Ms. Gibbons’ situation is horrific because of a backwards culture that prides itself on ignorance – which is deliciously ironic because it once led the world in scientific understanding.
How can one do enough homework on a culture to avoid problems when that culture gets chop-happy the moment a schoolteacher allows children to name a stuffed toy with what is a very common, if not the most common Muslim name?
We also hope Ms. Gibbons escapes from her situation and comes home safely.
As for potential danger, I fully expect the religion of peace to respond to the latest insults with the suicide bombings, the stoning to death of women and the constant ridiculous screaming that it has become known for.
We do not expect the nation of Sudan to come to PYSIH, read our content and decide to execute Ms. Gibbons. They’ll get bored and resume the genocide that’s been going on for many years now.
Muhammad (or one of the 14 spelling variations) is either the most or the second most common boys name in the world.
If she had been native to the area, she wouldn’t have seen jail time. This is pure racism.
Of course, if she had been native to sudan, she wouldn’t have been teaching – or allowed outside without an escort. So it’s probably a moot point.
It may be a little on the blunt side, but there is a point to be had within. For all the stupid, senseless and decadent acts that all religions and societies have been guilty of; this one is at the top. The Sudanese have a lot more to worry about than a bear named “Mo”. Does it seem like a very sad ploy to keep its starving and abused population in line by giving them something so inane to “unite” the population? I applaud Ms. Gibbons for even having the guts to go to there and teach. She deserves none of this.
Oy vey!
I’d like to remind you folks to not confuse that poster with me, the original Anon. ;) Seriously, I have a period at the end of my screen name as it’s an abbreviated form of “Anonymous.”
SO, with that out of the way, I appreciate the humor here, I support everyones freedom to believe what they want but I do agree that Islam tends to get a little bent out of shape over perceived blasphemy. She named a stuffed bear the same name as their prophet… big deal. I mean, if I named my pet cat “Jesus” would the Christians jump to arms? I think not.
At least… I hope not…
Ed: The previous anon has been changed to “A different Anon” in order to protect the previous Anon from militant Christians.
Militant anything is bad. Islam is no more the ‘religion of peace’ than Christianity or Judaism. And while those two religions have calmed down somewhat over the past century, one would do well to remember the many holy wars waged in their names.
This is a tragedy but the wholesale insulting of an entire religion, of which most of the practitioners are actually peaceful, is kind of ridiculous.
OH and: in b4 christfags come to go NINE ELEVEN NINE ELEVEN NINE ELEVEN.
If this is what happens when you try to help them, then lesson learned!! I guess no one will make THAT mistake again!
Chelsey your closing statement reminds me of a certain dark corner of the internet, a very familiar corner… could it /b/?
Oh hey, I feel so much better that most Muslims are peaceful.
Let’s see. There’s about 1.2 billion Muslims on the planet and only … oh…10 percent want to burn you alive while stoning your children to death in front of you.
That’s still a lot of people. And many of them run countries.
As for Christianity – for the most part, except for some crazies that most Christians denounce as being psychotic, they’ll just bug you to come to their Christmas nativity play, or come to your door and beg you to join them.
The anti-abortion psychos are scary, but they’re also stupid enough that law enforcement handles them easily.
Jihadists? Not so much.
Fear Islam. Pity Christianity. Judaism? They’ve been around for some time and haven’t put people into ovens, so maybe they can get along with others just fine.
I think the most frustrating part of Militant Islam, aside from suicide bombers, machetes, and the I’m-so-proud-I-just-beheaded-an-infidel-that-I-refuse-to-appear-bare-faced-on-camera-to-brag-and-threaten attitude, is that the vast majority of these “crusaders” are so ignorant of their own religion that they can’t even recognize how hypocritical they are. If they hate us so much, why not have all of the militant belivers move to their designated little patch of desert and ignore the rest of the world? The Amish have what could be considered oppressive religious beliefs, but you don’t see them strapping on C4 and blowing up weddings. It’s like dealing with spoiled, recalcitrant children with zero logical reasoning skills.
Judaism gets along with others just fine?
Hi!!! Israel called! They said, “LOL GUYS.”
i know plenty of muslims that wouldn’t hurt a fly, but that’s really something that needs no mentioning i suppose. if you’re a good person, whatever your religion, you’re not being dicussed here. i am anti-extremism, no matter what kind it is. Gotta admit though that most of it seems to be coming from the Muslim corner…..
Of course there are muslims who are peaceful. The vast majority of them are. The problem comes when those peaceful muslims refuse to denounce and therefore tacitly display approval of their more violent brethren’s actions.
The biggest problem is when the government subscribes to these fantasies. Take a look at Bush. If he wasn’t such a bible-thumper, if he wasn’t so dead-set on doing god’s work, do you think we’d be in Iraq, or that we’d have any number of problems that we currently have?
I think the guy’s policies are those of an absolute idiot and I’m a conservative!
Religion isn’t bad per se. It can be a cohesive, positive force in a community. But religion has the tendency to spiral out of control when members of one religion or another pick up a persecution complex and develop an us vs them mentality.
oink oink
To ADMIN:
I love it!
You should check out (it kind of appears you might have already) http://www.prophetofdoom.net/
Haha, you have got to be kidding me? This is one of the dumbest articles I have ever read, but kind of funny at the same time.
has anyone ever told these morons that “mohammed” is the most common name in the world?
idiots.
bomb the entire middle east please
Hmmm. How can we get the point across to these individuals. They burn our flag and cheer in the street. Let’s go burn the Corin, Korean, or Cornhen or whatever they use for a bible.
They castrate and stone their women. Let’s go get all their daughters pregnant.
They shoot those of different religions. Let’s send them all our Jehovah’s Witnesses!!
They scream we are materialistic. Wait, did you see those palaces they have?
Of course their peaceful, as long as you agree with them and agree to live in squalor while working 100 hours a week and give them your pay.
I might suggest we do what we Americans do best. :))
Um…
Where can I buy one of those pigs?
:)
Awesome.
“religion of peace” hahaha.
I’m the author
http://sultanknish.blogspot.com/2007/11/mohammed-stuffed-pig-plush-be-upon-him.html
Welcome to our humble blog oh mighty Sultan. Please accept our praise for a job well done. I’ll credit you as the author and add a link to your blog. Thanks for getting in touch with us.
-editor
Thank you, glad it’s being passed around.
Islam: “You’re all a bunch of fuckin assholes. You know why? Cuz you don’t have the guts to be who you wanna be. You need people like me, so you can point your FUCKING fingers, and say that’s the bad guy. What does that make you, good? You’re not good. You just know how to hide; your lies. Me? I don’t have that problem. Me, I always tell the truth. Even when I lie.”
We agree that we are a buch of fucking assholes. We work hard at achieving this status and are so pleased that you noticed.
BTW, I dont think that Islam is the bad guy. I think that some of the assholes that claim to practice Islam, but are actually a bunch of hypocrites who dont know the first thing about their ‘religion’ and use it as an excuse for piss poor behaviour are the bad guys. And its not just Islam. There are assholes who act like fuckwits in every religon.
Ok…just reread the post…its been a long day so ignore the first two lines…But i stand by my comment that Islam is not to blame. Its the ppl that twist the religion to suit their own purposes that suck dick. Not the religion as a whole. And no..im not a follower of Islam.
That’s just way too simplistic Snowman. The problem in Sudan, as it is in most of these third world countries, is an ignorant, uneducated populace and a handful of extremist Islamic Mullahs who corrupt the Koran and use it to control that populace.
You don’t think this mob just jumped up and said, “hey, let’s go get that British teacher with the stuffed animal named Muhammad,” do you? Like every other case like this, Mikey the Mullah whipped them into a frenzy, and since they don’t have the education or knowledge of true Islam, the mob predictably took his word for truth and went crazy.
Fuckin Sudan monkeys!
If you liked Mohammed the Stuffed Pig then you’re gonna love Suicide Bear.
http://www.therudenews.com/archives/261
Ha! That’s outstanding.
the USA should become more like this to punish people who disregard the Constitution, and the Bible.
get my point across?
The people in Sudan and many other third world countries are barbarians. You cant civilize them over night or over 10 years. While I am not saying this woman deserves this, I am saying you go over to these places at your own risk. I care not to go to the land of Islamic beliefs. For my own comfort and safety. While you are here in the good ol USofA enjoy the RULES and LAWS of the land…. if you dont think you can do that then you dont need to be here.
Okay, firstly I agree that what happens to Gillian Gibbons is horrifying. Indeed, unforgivable. However, the same ignorance we had seen in Sudan is what we see in this article.
Honestly, did you as the writer of this article actually commit yourself to a bit of research about what Islam is, as opposed to what you think it is ?
You blamed an entire religion on what some Muslims do. That’s ignorance. Islam should be judged by Islam, and Muslims should be judged by Islam. Not the other way around.
You insulting the Prophet in exchange reflects the kind of ignorance which we had witnessed in Sudan. You unfortunately chose to bark up the wrong tree.
Do you not know that a non-Muslim use to throw garbage and human waste on the Prophet whenever he used to walk by ? And his retaliation ? When the non-Muslim fell ill, the Prophet visited him and nursed him to health.
This is how the Sudanese Muslims should have reacted as Muslims – forgiving what is an obvious mistake. If the Prophet easily forgiven deliberate acts of insults, then to forgive a mistake should be so much easier.
What this proves is that Sudanese Muslims, and all others like them, are ignorant of the very religion they say they’re defending. This should have been a point in your article – the question is : where is it ?
Instead of questioning the religious validity of the Sudanese Muslims’ reactions in the context of Islam, you chose to attack Islam itself.
While that is your right, it shows that you’ve failed to do your homework.
Islam’s stated goal is to take over the world and kill any individual who does not convert. Their absolute stated goal in the Koran.
Pull your head out of your ass before they cut your head off with practiced glee.
While I understand the point of the article, I’m desperately opposed to the general stand it’s taken on Islam. I… really couldn’t laugh. I thought PYSIH tried to aim for fact… but, oh, pathos allows for skewing.
^Isn’t a Muslim. ;x
First, Mohammed is by many standards a child molesting murdering pig.
But mostly the problem with Islam, aside from the fanatic ten percent is the relative silence of the majority on these issues.
Islam is in a place in it’s history similar to the inquisition and witch burning era of Christianity,
Whatever beauty there may or may not be in the religion s covered by the stink of it’s practice in the world and it is utterly fair game for derision and disgust.
SAlam .. ev.1 .. PLzz. KEEP ur BloOdy Mouths SHUT. . n beta DELETE this thingy>… n wateva Happen 2 dat LADY.. is damn ryt… n ya .. she Deserve Mre den this… u GuyX Outta ya mInd.. if we MUSLIMSX .. SAyzx THis Abt ur RELIGIOn wat u guyzx cn reply bK.. u GUYS .. WORSHIP IDOL wich u made bY urSelfx… n ANy1 oF ur HolY BoOKx..in wich u GUyX .. didn’t CHGED ANYTHING… WE MUSLIM OUR HOLY BOOK QURAN is SAved … n neva BEEN chGed.. u worshiP .. wat u think n wat u want..>?? u guyzx.. .. ve NO religion… finish .. it OL.. n PEACE OFF… n delete it… ALLAH HAfiS
Peace? You decree that the woman got what she deserved and then you call on peace????
What ever you smoke stop it!
I have read the Koran twice in my life. You? How many times have you read it? I found the book full of historical holes, half truths and lies. The Koran preaches peace only to those who perscribe to the religion.
Ayesha if you want to call me on tis feel free and I will provide the links to the passages. If you can prove me wrong then I will be adult enough to accept it and apoligize.
Untill then please feel free to learn English. Both spelling and grammer.
I think this is a solid response. I too have read the Koran, discussed Islam with Muslim friends and feel that the core of Islam is broken, and that while Islam could be a religion of peace, it is not currently a religion whose goal is peace.
Human beings have at their cores a desire to find excellent mates(or mate), raise children, eat well with a minimum amount of work and put off dying to the last enjoyable moment. The majority of people will discover that despite short term gains with violence, to achieve the most rewarding life, you must live in peace, but carry a big enough stick that others choose to leave you alone. The problem with Islam, Christianity and various other religions as they’re currently presented, they claim that the biggest stick lies beyond death and/or in the most audacious display of faith. I personally choose a subset of Christianity because it encourages a path that uses the smallest application of the beat stick possible.
Islam, or the vast majority of Islam, is a rejection of peace. It is a submission to religious leaders who almost universally have as a core goal, self-enrichment, more mates than they could normally handle and long lives spent in opulent excessiveness. Many Evangelical Christians have the same goals. If someone is really interested in peace through some sort of violence, then they should seek out the religious leaders who promote violence, and send them packing to their own martyrdom.
I believe strongly in the “Chrstian” God. I don’t go to church or attend any sevices. Bad experiences. I choose to worship in my own way.
I pray every night for the safty of my loved ones and friends. I also that him for the saftey of myself and my loved ones. I find nothing at all wrong with that. Should someon decide to “condem” me to hell then thats their problem. Not mine.
I worked a project in Abu Dhabi and I met a local. Strong muslem but open enough to discuss. Was very interesting. He didn’t codem me. Only said that in his beliefs I had not attained true understanding. That I was destined to come back until I learned the tue way. Like I said interesting as it is another’s point of view looking in instead.
WHAT IS WONG WITH MOHAMDA LOOKING LIKE A LITTLE PRECIOUS PIG!THIS IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MUZZIES AND CHRISTIANS. ONE HAS TOLLERANCE THE OTHER, (MUZZIES) HAVE BOMBS, AND THEY KILL, YES……THEY ARE PEACE LOVING AND WARM, ESPECIALY WHEN THEY BLOW SOME INNOCENT PERSON UP, THEY ARE TRULY WARM THEN ARE THE NOT. MOHAMAD, MOHAMA WHY DON’T YOU KICK SOME OF YOUR RETARDED BASTARD SON’S ASS FOR THEY, YA HEAR??!!
Calm down RM. Any time you go lumping a whole group of people together and judging them because of the actions of a bunch of crackpots, you run the risk of looking foolish. Saying that all Muslims are card carrying terrorists just because of the actions of religious extremists is no different that saying all Christians are intolerant murderers because of the actions of a hardcore pro-lifers who go around blowing up abortion clinics, along with the people in them, and shooting doctors.
The Koran is no different than the Bible – you have to wade through a whole lot of bullshit to get to the good stuff. If people would put aside their hate and fear for a while, they might figure that our for themselves.