“Notta prob Joe Jack, Lisa Ann’s out in da drive. Letme gid her.” “Hey Lees we’s need ya ta gid down to da Piggly Wiggly ind gid somur Jack”

“Awright, naw whurd I pud dem der keys?”

***Starts up truck

“Jes led me figer dis her shiffer ding out. Oh yah, R is fer Rev her up. I gut id nuw.”

***Crunching drag

“Dang id, I jes broke the good lawn chair. Nows I gidda stop off at Wal-Mart too. Ma, whatta doin puttin da chair behin my truck? Donya know I’s a gotta gid some more Jack fer da boys? Quid whinin’ id’s jes a lousy scratch. Why Bobby Jo got wurse dan dat at da Coon Festival las’ week.”

****Lisa Ann Drives off to Piggly Wiggly and Wal-Mart for Jack and a new lawn chair.

***Lisa Ann returns

“Whatya mean occifer, I got mu licinse right here. Sur, I cum on dawn tu da station, I always did like a man in ufinorm. You’s cute than me cousin Clint Roy.”

***Lisa Ann takes breathalyzer.

“Hot Damn, thads a new family record, .243 I’s gottatel the boys ’bout disun. Kin I’s gid a copy of dat der test, I’s gonna pud id up on’s da refrigerator.”

“What ya mean I’s gotta pay $3k ta gid out! Crap. Do yun’s take food stamps? Great, dem babies alsready eatin’ to much. Theys could use a diet, make Becky Lou real purty for her weddin’. Ya know she’s marryin’ her bruther next week. He’s a real fine catch, lucky she found him.”

*****Well, that was fun, and it’s a blast to laugh at idiots like this. I’ll be the first to admit it. But this really isn’t a joking matter at all. In fact this is absolutely the most preventable and under prosecuted tragedy in our society. Take a look at the 11:00 news and your morning newspaper. You see drunks driving the wrong way in interstates, running down our children and murdering their very own loved ones.

We need prosecutors with the balls to really look at the crime and see it for what it is. We need to quit calling these accidents, an accident is something that happens without intent and really has no fault. These are not accidents, they have fault and they are 100% preventable.

All states with Capital Murder have the law written that if you cause the death of another individual during the commission of a crime, regardless of whether you intended to cause the death or injury or not to that person, you are guilty of Capital Murder and it is punishable by death.

Instead, we have prosecutors with no balls who would rather let these POS’s walk free after 30 days in jail and a couple thousand in fines. WTF is up with this? She killed her mother, the person who brought her into this world, the womb she lived in for 40 weeks, the breast she gained her first meal from, the hands that patched up her scraped knees, the lips that kissed away the tears, the arms that tucked her in and the heart that loved her unconditionally.

What does she do for this amazing person in return? Oh mom, it’s just a scratch. Quit playing around and get up. By the way, you owe me for a new lawn chair, that one was my favorite.

She left and returned, to try and run from the cops when she got back. She had her wits about her enough to know to try and avoid the cops when she saw them, she tried to run form them. Yet she will probably argue she didn’t know what she was doing and it was in accident.

Well Lisa Ann, why don’t you sit in this chair right here. Yep, it’s a brand new lawn chair for the one your momma made you run over. That’s it, aw look. It’s got these here nice straps to make sure you don’t fall and spill your drink. That’s it, fasten real snug. That’s a good girl. Oh, a nice neat little hat too. That’s it, you look like a princess in your new chair. Now you just sit there and enjoy your drink, I gonna go turn on the chair massager for ya. There, how’s that Lisa Ann.

IT’S ELECTRIC!!!