This is 43-year-old Randy Lewis, sporting the latest in Stupidwear.
Please, ignore the shirt. Randy Lewis doesn’t need any more beer.
On the night of the 5th of October, 2008, at about 6 in the evening, due to consuming “at least” 15 beers and a large quantity of alcohol, Randy Lewis faced a conundrum:
Who was going to drive everybody home?
Because Randy Lewis, like most of the civilized world, reads People You’ll See In Hell, he undoubtedly knew that drinking and driving - while entertaining if you’re out in the desert away from anything other than tortoises - is a wanton act of casual disregard for the lives of those in the drunk driver’s vicinity.
In Randy Lewis’ little party of 5 - himself, 38-year-old girlfriend Paula Elaine Evans, two 10-year-olds and a 6-year-old - only the kids hadn’t been drinking, so really their only option was obvious.
One of the kids had to drive.
You have to wonder how Randy Lewis chose which kid got behind the wheel of the 1995 Ford Windstar that night. Randy was too drunk to judge a good game of rock/scissors/paper, and drawing straws is no fun when your manual dexterity prevents the orderly selection of who has the longest straw - so I’m going to guess (and this is just a guess here, since Randy Lewis lives in Tennessee) that Randy said something like this to the 10-year-old boy who was eventually chosen to drive:
Hey boey. Yer gunna drive ush hum. Kwit yer crien, git up der and git daddy ‘nother beer afore ya hit da gas.
We,, what’s a boy to do? He did what he was told, got behind the wheel and took the responsibility for driving the group home.
Shortly after 6 that evening, on Flatwoods Road in Sullivan County, Tennessee, the 10-year-old’s lack of skill became immediately apparent when the 1995 Ford Minivan went off the road, went out of control and flipped over on its top. The loss of control is probably due to the fact that the 10-year-old was putting about the same amount of care into driving 4 other people around as he would while playing Grand Theft Auto 4 and was zipping along at about 90 miles per hour on the gravel road when he flipped the vehicle over.
Yes, that’s right. The 10-year-old was driving at 90 miles per hour. On a gravel road.
Even more amazing is the fact that everybody lived, and with mostly non-significant injuries.
Paula Evans suffered a few broken bones in her neck, but other than that was uninjured. The children were treated at the local hospital and released.
The local sheriffs responded to a call that a vehicle had flipped over and that several people were trapped inside, but by the time officers arrived, everyone was already out of the van and sitting on the side of the road. Paula Evans was a bit upset and started to swallow as many Percocets as she could before officers stopped her.
No harm done.
Randy Lewis’ decision on that night’s designated driver must have really pissed off the officers who arrived at the scene, because Randy was charged with a third-offense DUI charge, a charge of felony reckless endangerment, violation of implied consent, a charge of aggravated child abuse and neglect, along with a few moving violations like driving on a suspended license, no proof of insurance and a seat belt violation.
Paula Evans faces charges of felony reckless endangerment, aggravated child abuse/neglect and a seat belt violation.
Loading ...Spread the word about this article!
Similar Posts:
Becuase no one was badly hurt….its almost comical. But that realllly could have been devistating.
[Reply]
Woohoo! The first! I voted yes, for both. How dare they put the kids in that position!?! I realize that nobody was killed and nobody was seriously hurt, but they may as well have been. When that young man got behind the wheel, none of it was in their control anymore. What if the six year old was killed? Like I said before, they might as well have killed everyone in the van that night because that’s the situation they created.
[Reply]
Chilibreez reply on October 9th, 2008:
God Damn it Krystal… we must have been typing at the same time. I thought I was first for once LOL
[Reply]
Krystal reply on October 9th, 2008:
Hehe…oopsies….nice to not have such a heavy horrible baby eaten kind of story for once right…lol (although thats why I come here…for the evilness!)
[Reply]
I voted no…stupidity again is not hell worthy…and c’mon…they are from tennessee and you can drive a tractor at age 8!! But still…total stupidity and yes, they got VERY lucky.
[Reply]
Mulch reply on October 10th, 2008:
But if they would ahve hit and killed someone…?
No freakin way. The shitstain deserves hell. He put people lives in danger.
Strap the redneck down, slap a funnel in in mouth and fill er up!
[Reply]
If Daddy had a 10 year old drive, what else were the kids doing? Maybe the 10 year old has a paper route and pays rent?
While the incident is not quite hell worthy, the way these people parent is. It’s not like the parents were suffering from a life threatening injury and needed the kid to drive, they were irresponsibly drunk.
I am sure that if the kid was able to get the parents home, Mommy would have cooked them all a healthy dinner - NOT! The lids would be luckey to have fresh Ding-Dongs and Ho-Hos to eat….
[Reply]
Nissa reply on October 9th, 2008:
My thoughts exactly.
[Reply]
Tress reply on October 9th, 2008:
I agree, Fred. If the situation had been an emergency, this would be a completely different story. Also, where were they drinking?? A friends house? I hope that no one would allow a 10 and 6 year old into a bar. So if they were at a friend’s house, why the f*ck didn’t anyone stop them from leaving? I’m 22 years old and I’m more responsible than these parents, and the only person I have to look out for is myself. I have a DD wherever I go, if not, I have the cab company in my cell phone. These two are complete morons and deserves nothing less of hell. Those poor children probably have had to endure A LOT more than just driving their parents home drunk.
[Reply]
The Danger Zone reply on October 9th, 2008:
They were out in the desert, gettin drunk havin a grand ol time. Probably chose the boy cuz he wuz the only one not drinkin. After all, gotta have a designated driver doncha.
I’m actually impressed with this kid. He handled a Windstar at 90 MPH on Gravel. For those of you that don’t know, that’s a rear wheel drive mini-van with the handling capabilities of a ford ranger with a cap. The thing sucks on gravel and the kid got her to 90. I’d say in a few more years we get that kid a NASCAR license and see what he can do once he has all his reflexes. Dale Jr watch out, Lewis Jr is on his way up.
Now for the parents. Why could they not think of another solution? Say, let everyone sleep it off in the “VAN!!!! I know, they forgot the Ding Dongs and blankies right. I’m saying they do deserve hell for this stunt. A 10 year old is not the one to be driving endangering the lives of his siblings. How would the kid feel if someone had died in that crash?
To put that kind of responsibility on a child is hell worthy. Open up the pit and tag em with Turtle’s GPS system. And just for them, a special kind of hell. All the non-alchoholic beer they could consume in all of eternity forced down their throats every hour.
[Reply]
jaded_hart reply on October 9th, 2008:
Yes, he handled it going 90, but I’ll bet there weren’t many turns before the big flip.
The Danger Zone reply on October 10th, 2008:
If we can teach the kid to turn left on asphalt he’s a sure winner in NASCAR.
Fred reply on October 9th, 2008:
Spay and neuter them just for being less responsible than most animals!!
[Reply]
Man I had to wait til I was 15.5 to Start Driving. Guess if my dad would have been a lush I could have started learning earlier.
Bastard. I’m jealous.
[Reply]
Ughh!! Dumbass drunks!
[Reply]
What a fuckstick.
[Reply]
Endagering YOUR children’s lives because YOU are too selfish to not get trashed when YOU are out with YOUR children = HELL
[Reply]
SIGNS THAT YOU ARE TOO DRUNK
* Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you.
* You fall off the floor.
* You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
* You have to hold on to the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
* Job interfering with your drinking.
* Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
* The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
* Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.
* 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case-coincidence?? You think not!
* You can focus better with one eye closed.
* The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.
* Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.
* Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!
* Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
* You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed … hmmm?
* Roseanne looks good.
* That damned pink elephant followed you home again.
* Every night you’re beginning to find your roommate’s cat more and more attractive.
* You think the four basic food groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, Alcohol, and the opposite sex.
* Don’t recognize your wife unless seen through the bottom of a glass.
* The shrubbery’s drunk from too frequent watering.
* You wake up screaming, “TORO TORO TORO!”, in the middle of the night.
* Two hands and just one mouth…now THAT’S a drinking problem!
* You spent Sunday night in jail for cow-tipping - with your Oldsmobile.
* Friends armed with fire extinguishers stood at a safe distance as you blew out your birthday candles.
* Thanks to you, Jack Daniel’s stock is up 15 1/4 since Friday.
* Boris Yeltsin called personally to ask you to slow down on the Vodka.
* For some reason, there’s salt on the rim of you basketball goal.
* Your name is Otis and Sheriff Andy has brought you some of Aunt Bea’s pancakes.
* For the money you spent on Thunderbird, you could’ve bought the car.
* You’re now the proud inventor of the “Slim Jim”: Ultra Slim-Fast shakes made with Jim Beam.
* Absolute wants to run an add featuring a picture of your liver in the shape of a bottle.
* Yet again, dry cleaner employees greet you with, “Hey, it’s Vomit Man!”
* The doorman asks for you I.D. just to see how long it’ll take you to find your pants.
* Your liver, in a fit of pique, leaps out of your abdominal cavity into a pan of frying onions.
* Worried friends call Monday morning to make sure you returned the goat.
* You’re now sober enough to realize “Drink Canada Dry” is a slogan and not a personal challenge.
* You are lying in bed and it feels like you’re on a merry-go-round.
* You sound like you’re speaking a different language and get irritated when others don’t understand you.
* You walk up to a real big dude and ask, “Is it true big guys have real small peckers?”
* You fart and then feel a lump in your back pocket.
[Reply]
Any smart person would know that it’s WAY safer to just drive yourself home shit tanked with your kids in the BACK seat rather than driving themselves.
Gesh! What’s wrong with these people?
[Reply]
What a lovely example of father/son bonding. The family that D.W.I.’s together, thrives together.
[Reply]
That shirt is to damn funny . (Bet he wished he wouldnt have worn that one ).
I still cant deside witch adult was the better of the two.
Check out Paula Evans photo here
http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00610/SNN0928B_180_610066a.jpg
The police report says ” As I steped out of my car one of the men told me the female (Paula Evans) was eating pills prior to my arrival. I saw the female with her back turned to me putting as many pills in her mouth as fast as she could . I then ran and Takled her in the middle of the road to prevent her from consuming any more. ”
Paula had only 43 pills left in her handbag, including anti-anxiety drug Xanax, painkillers Percecet and Loratab and methadone replacement Suboxen.
Medics said she had cocaine, opiates, anti-anxiety drug benzos and amphetamines in her system.
No wonder the poor 10 year old had to do the driving. Its obvious neither one of the adults was capable of it.
[Reply]
Mulch reply on October 10th, 2008:
Why did you post that pic????? I had a nich breakfest lined up. I WAS hungry! You owe me $7.50. I can’t eat anytzhing else today after looking at that butt ugly woman. Good lord what an ugly person.
[Reply]
If you know your going out for a night of drinking and partying the best option is to organize a babysitter!!!
That way, when you drink and drive, the only person at risk is yourself. Better yet, stay the night or get a ride with some sober friends. Sleep in the car if you have to.
The saddest thing about this story is that Randy decided to buckle up instead of having his stupid, ugly mug, smashed up against the windshield as the car rolled….
[Reply]
jaded_hart reply on October 9th, 2008:
Who can afford a babysitter when you have to buy THAT much beer, alcohol, and happy pills to make the night enjoyable?
[Reply]
friggin scumbags!!!
i swear, why is it that the incompetant breeders are always the most fertile? i know people who can’t have even 1 kid, and these douches have 3 to fuck up!
[Reply]
when i first read that the dad let the kid drive i was already thinking of choosing “hell” cuz you’d assume the kids were gonna die in this story. but everyone lived…thank god…it couldve been worse. the DAD couldve driven… i don’t even wanna think of that…
[Reply]
i voted no, but only because i am incapable of voting yes while laughing hysterically!
[Reply]
Saw a t-shirt today that Randy would really love. It said,’ The village called…they want their idiot back.”
[Reply]
TurtleMania reply on October 10th, 2008:
Very good.
[Reply]
eternal reply on October 10th, 2008:
lol
[Reply]
O-M-G.
Letting your child drive? Don’t these people even realize that it’s illegal to let anyone but the insured driver drive the car?
I’m hoping that I’m not being judgmental in assuming that these people are from the joyous lands of trailer park.
[Reply]
Amy reply on October 10th, 2008:
My guess is that they dont really care about the whole insurance thing.
If they’d had a trained monkey in the car they probably would have let it drive…
He looks like a big, dumb oaf, squinting at the camera as if to say, ” did i really do that?” He doesnt have a clue and isnt likely to get one any time soon.
[Reply]
eternal reply on October 10th, 2008:
he doesn’t look like “did i do that?”
he looks like “what did i do wrong? i got me a designated driver, didn’t i?”
dumb ass trailer twit *smh and lol*
[Reply]
Imagine how extra pissed you’d be as a police officer to see the shirt on this guy when you came upon the scene.
[Reply]
TurtleMania reply on October 17th, 2008:
Sure. He can get a beer.
Here’s what you do:
Open up the beer, drink or pour out a sip or two (keeps the bottle from breaking) and then bludgeon Randy a few times with the bottle. Allow him to pass out and when he wakes up, hit him some more. After all the excitement you can either finish the beer or pour it on him.
[Reply]
Amy reply on October 17th, 2008:
I wouldnt want to waste a good beer on a dipstick like Randy. Could we just use Coke?
[Reply]
jail is to fuckin good for them they both need to be under it not in it …..that is ok they boys will come home where they belong with the real father who loves them now that he knows where he is … and paula can’t stop it once again … keep her ugly ass behind bars where she belongs and randy too … STUPID FUCKERS …. AHAHA WE GOING TO WIN IN THE END …..
[Reply]
This is the farther of the 6 year old and one of the 10 year olds, and yes, Paula, I am coming to get my boys. And how you doing?
[Reply]
This is Victoria Evans, and Linwood is my dad. Paula, you have made one of the biggest mistakes of your life. Since you wanna keep the boys away from their real dad and not be a proper mother, you are paying for your irresponsibility. Everyone gets their just dues, and maybe you are finally getting yours. It doesn’t pay to be a sorry mother and a bitch to everyone you know does it???
[Reply]
Amy reply on October 22nd, 2008:
Nothing like a bit of justice hey guys. Im just sorry that your kids were put in danger for it to happen.
[Reply]
Hi Linwood & Victoria. Glad you could share with us. I wasnt aware any of the children were Paula’s. She is quite the pill popping momma drug addict. And a bigger $%&* for having brought her own children along for the ride. If you want to read the arrest report its on thesmokinggun dot com website. Its full of fun little facts about her.
[Reply]
taz,thank you for the imfermation.and me and my wife ar going to get the boys
[Reply]
Max The Cat reply on October 23rd, 2008:
Good for you Folks, good for you. If you get a chance, give Paula a great big boot in the ass from me. Oh never mind, I shouldn’t try to horn in on your big day. I’m truly happy for you people, especially you Linwood. Too many times the Dad gets screwed out of custody just because he’s a he.
[Reply]
wendy shaulis soon to be evans reply on October 28th, 2008:
the boy will be back at dad’s and moms this weekend woohooo can’t wait to see them … aunt wendy
[Reply]
TurtleMania reply on October 28th, 2008:
Hi Aunt Wendy.
[Reply]
Taz reply on October 28th, 2008:
Nice, Thank God they are away from Paula.
[Reply]
Amy reply on October 28th, 2008:
Yay! Glad something is going right on this site…awesome news.
[Reply]
their is no justice in tn but she didn’t get them either,they are still in child pertaction in t n intill we go back to court on the 20, we haven’t give up it isn’t over intill the fat lady sing’and quest what” i don’t here her singing yet paula
[Reply]
wendy shaulis reply on November 19th, 2008:
we get them dady don’t worry you got all of us fighting with you love you daddy …..wendy evnas
[Reply]