I married a good and loving man who has three sons from his first marriage. The oldest and youngest are decent kids who’ve never given us any problems. The middle one is another matter. I don’t have enough room here to go through everything we’ve endured with this young man, just that in the 6 years I’ve known him we have dealt with a bipolar who won’t stick to a prescription regimen (he sniffs, shoots, and smokes everything under the sun but claims to be concerned about the liver damage that prescriptions can cause), EXTREME emotional abuse from his mother, two suicide attempts, numerous runaway attempts, two psych hospitals, one long and very expensive stint in drug rehab, and two years in prison.

Even more heartbreaking is the fact that this young man is handsome, charming, and very intelligent. His prison sentence happened because just after turning 17, he went to a party where he took an underage girl into a back bedroom. This boy was never able to hear and comprehend the word “NO.” He claimed it was consensual. Her parents felt otherwise. He went to jail.

In jail, he wrote me some of the most heart-wrenching and moving letters I’ve ever read. He seemed to have hit his rock bottom. He wanted to turn his life around, have a relationship with his family. He got his GED while in prison. Things were looking up.

He got out of prison, spent six weeks with his aunt, and immediately wanted to return to live with his mother. Everyone advised against it. Soon we learned that he had warrants out for his arrest because he refused to register as a sexual offender in the state where he moved.

A few weeks ago, he turned up on our doorstep unannounced, 800 miles from his mother’s home. Told us he was there to visit with us before he had to go back to prison. The last contact we had with him was a phone call in which he was yelling invectives at me, laced with the F-word. I told him he was not going to speak to me that way, and I hung up.

We just heard from his mother. He’s back in prison in the state where she lives. I can’t help but feel relieved. At least I know where he is and what he’s doing.

I know that this has nothing to do with the story above. Thanks for “listening.” I deliberately haven’t said his name here, but I’m very afraid that someday you’ll all know it too well. It’s a terrible feeling to know that you’ve done everything you can to help someone and they are still broken.

Unfortunately, the loss of the children in your life is something I think you’re going to have to learn to live with. The family is well within their rights to do what they feel is in the best interests of the kids. I know it’s hard, but try and remember that they are all suffering too, and just as badly as you are.

As far as what strangers on a website like ours think of you, who cares man? None of us know you, or will probably ever meet you, even if we could recognize you. Your best bet would be to stay away from sites like this, and remember the old saying, “Opinions are like assholes – everybody has one and they all stink.” Good luck to you Robert. I hope some day you’re able to find some peace of mind and happiness.

For example:

1. I treated these children like they were my own.
2. Someone(insert their name(s)) thinks I killed their mother.
3. I miss my girlfriend (or wife, or what have you)
4. I loved her.

I can try to guess your intent, but I can’t currently decipher it from what you’ve written.