Demetrius Duncan
I’m cold. I wonder where Daddy is, I could use my bottle and pink blankie about now. Where’d Daddy go? I saw him just a little bit ago, we we’re playing hide and seek from Grandma, great idea using this bag Daddy, she’ll never find me here. I hear stuff, is that a car? A doggy? Daddy, where are you? I can’t get out of this bag, it’s pretty strong, maybe if I kick a little I can break through it. Oh yeah, I remember where Daddy is, he had to go give that man some white candy. Daddy promised he’d get me a new toy when he gets back if I stay quiet, so I can’t cry. I’ll wait for you Daddy, right here where you put me. It smells in here, but I know Daddy will be back to get me and then I get to have butterfly kisses with him. I love playing butterfly kisses, grandma taught them to me.
The above, is probably the last thoughts of little Ania Duncan, a 6 month old little girl who is now an Angel at the side of God. Ania made a mistake though, she chose to have Demetrius Duncan as a father to love her, to protect her and to care for her. Ania knew that Demetrius was young, just like her mother, but she 
knew with the help of Kawanis Duncan, her Grandma, all would be ok. Ania spent her days as most 6 month old Big Girls spend their days, laughing, eating, sleeping and demanding. Ania demanded things like hugs, bottles and attention from her father, Demtrius. After all, isn’t that what all Big Girls want in their lives?
She also demanded to be kept warm. To bad Ania never got this last demand of hers, instead she learned how cold the world can be. You see, Demetrius liked to play games with his daughter, and on January 14th, he decided to play a game of hide and seek with Ania. Only, the game was not what most would consider to be a safe game of hide and seek and little Ania needed Daddy’s help to hide from Mommy and Grandma. This is little Ania’s story of that last day…
Oh this is a fun game, Daddy has picked a great place for me to hide. They’ll never find me in this bag, it’s the perfect spot. Thank you Daddy for helping me hide so well. Now, let’s see if I can remember the way you play this game. Oh yeah. I have to be really really quiet, I don’t want to help them find me. I also have to be really really still, better not kick anything and knock it over. Then I’ll lose and that’s not fun, Daddy is a winner, he always wins fights. Like that time he got arrested for assault, I was so proud of Daddy for beating up that little guy. Daddy’s a good business man too, he sells white little pieces of Candy for $20 a piece. I wonder what I can get for my binkie?
Whoa! Hehehe… Daddy’s carrying me around now. This is fun, I get to swing back and forth in the bag, no one can see me. Daddy must know of a great place to hide, we’re going for a long walk. It’s cold, I’m glad I have my green blankie, but I like my pink blankie better. Oh crap, I forgot to grab my binkie before Daddy put me in here. Oh well, I’ll just have to wait until the game is over to get it, can’t stop now.
The only thing is, this wasn’t a game of hide and seek that anyone but Ania was supposed to win. Instead of covering his daughter up with a blanket in her car seat and spending 5 seconds acting like he was looking for her, as all of us parents have done, then quickly pulling back the blanket and laughing, Demetrius wanted a more permanent game of hide and seek. So, he left out the baby carrier, grabbed a green blanket to wrap his daughter in, and proceeded to stuff her in a garbage bag. Then, on his way to a crack deal, he took a walk past a shopping plaza on Lorain Avenue in Cleveland, Ohio. For those who don’t know Lorain Avenue, I’m almost 40 and wouldn’t want to be on that street. So what is a 6 month old little girl doing on it in a garbage bag?
Oh this is going to be good. Daddy must have a top secret hiding place, even I’m not allowed to know how to get there. Mommy and Grandma will never find me here. I hope Daddy gets me a new bear when the game is over. I love going for walks, the crisp air, all the people and cars. When I was a baby, Grandma would take me out for walks in my stroller, I remember when I saw the doggie, he tried to kiss me but Grandma wouldn’t let him. I love doggies, maybe Daddy will get me a puppy after the game. That would be so great, my very own puppy to take care of, kiss and play. I’ll let her sleep in my bed with me.
It’s kinda cold out here. Hmmm. What’s that noise? It sounds really loudy and creaky, it must be a dungeon. Ouch! That is sticking me in the back. What is that? And my head! That hurt. I think Daddy fell. I hope Daddy’s OK. Whoa! That was a loud noise. It hurt my ears. At least it’s gone now. I wonder where Daddy went? Is this the hiding place? Okay, now what are the rules again? Oh yeah, I have to be really quiet so no one finds me, until they all yell they give up. I wonder how long they’ll look before I win?
Demetrius had decided the best way to rid himself of his problem, was to do what many of us do with items that are no longer usable. Throw it in the garbage. So, after packing Ania Duncan up in a garbage bag, he chose to casually stroll down the street through one of the worst neighborhoods and then pitch her into a garbage dumpster. An act like this, it’s not hard to believe that Demetrius Duncan never even looked back, never even bothered to gently lower Ania Duncan into the dumpster, just pitched her in like a soda can, to bounce and slam around without a thought to what happens afterwards.
Demetrius Duncan went on to make a little money selling drugs and then on home. Once there, his girlfriend woke up, and they chose to hang out until Kawanis Duncan, Ania Duncan’s Grandmother came home, and noticed her granddaughter wasn’t around. What? It took until 12:30 at night for Ania Duncan’s Mother to notice her daughter was gone, and only when Kawanis Duncan began to get overly concerned did the police get called. Called by Kawanis Duncan, not the parents, who wisely insisted Ania’s parents knew what happened and weren’t telling. Great call on this one Kawanis, we only wished you’d of not had to be at work when this happened to her.
Demetrius was quick to tell the Police, he went to the store earlier in the day and when he returned home, all the doors we’re open and Ania was gone. Now wait, you come home and your daughter is missing and you don’t call the police? This seemed strange to the police also, and they wisely chose to not believe him. Police also took issue with Ania Duncan’s 17 year old mother not being concerned as to what happened to this Little Angel and took both of them into custody.
I wonder where Daddy is? Now I’m supposed to be quiet until I hear them yell they give up, then I win and get my puppy. But I miss my binkie and pink blankie, and it’s cold. Maybe if I take a nap, they’ll find me. Or I can wake up when I hear them yell, I’ll just take a little nap, it’s been so long and I don’t know when they’re going to give up. Just a quick nap, rest my eyes and by then they’ll give up. Then I can get my puppy, play butterfly kisses with Grandma again and make her laugh until she cries. Grandma loves it when I make her laugh, she is so funny with her laugh. I love Grandma… I wonder where Mommy’s looking… I know Daddy will be back soon… Just a little nap….
Police pulled out all the stops, searching homes, dogs, helicopters and doing everything they could to find Ania. Unfortunately, 14 hours was to long for little Ania to survive, 14 hours after the police started looking. 14 hours in near zero temperatures inside of a blanket, in a garbage bag thrown in a garbage dumpster in one of Cleveland’s worst neighborhoods. Ania Duncan may have thought of herself as a big girl, ready to be a big sister to any siblings her parents might have, ready to start crawling, walking, eating baby cereal and using a big girl potty. Ania Duncan may have grown into an adult who attended college, married and raised beautiful children. Ania Duncan may have had the cure for Cancer within her mind, she may have been a philanthropist helping others. Ania Duncan may have ended world hunger and brought peace to the middle east. Instead, these dreams ended with her death.
Finally, after 14 hours police managed to get Demetrius Duncan to admit he had not gone to the store, rather he left the apartment to go sell drugs. When he returned he said that Ania Duncan was not breathing, so he tried CPR and it didn’t work. Instead of calling 911 for her, waking up Ania’s mother or trying to get any real help, he just dumped her in a garbage bin. Somehow, I think the game of hide and seek is closer to reality of Ania’s last moments on this earth than this bullshit story he has made up. While we may never know what her last moments were, I pray that the Cuyahoga County Prosecutor steps on to the plate on this one and finds pleasure in applying the Death Penalty to Demetrius Duncan and Ania Duncan’s Mother, I hope they spend their years on death row in near zero temperatures and only a green baby blanket to kept them warm.
Honors are owed to the Cleveland City Police Department, a truly underpaid and understaffed force, for pulling out all the stops on this and working so hard to save this little girls life. If other Police Departments would work this hard just imagine how many Ania Duncan’s could be saved. They broke down doors and searched homes without warrants, brought in dogs, pulled video surveillance cameras from the neighborhood stores (they have video of Demetrius carrying the garbage bag down the street), relentlessly pursued every possible lead until they found her. If only Demetrius had chosen to be a Father and Dad instead of a piece of garbage would the story of Ania Duncan playing hide and seek have a different ending
Should Demetrius Duncan's Dumb Ass Fry In Hell?
- Yes (99%, 390 Votes)
- No (1%, 5 Votes)
Total Voters: 395
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131 Comments »
I like how descriptions of this girl’s possible future include college, marriage, and children, as if tossing a baby into a dumpster to freeze to death could be made any more horrific. Does anyone think “Gee, I thought this was no big loss, but this girl could have gone to COLLEGE! This is a big deal after all”
Yeeeah…the “thoughts” of the little girl were pretty lame. Definitely one of the worst posts on this site; regardless, RIP Ania.
CJ
I think you are jealous of Danger.
Danger
I think you done a great job. You rock
Thank you Lavonna… And I realize a 6 month old doesn’t think like this (at least not with complex sentences, but it’s as close as I could come to reflecting on how babies unconditionally love their parents…) This story was very hard to write, as I kept imagining her laying in the bottom of the dumpster wondering where her Grandma, Mommy & Daddy were….
I couldn’t have wrote it. I would have cried to much. I cry for her and it fills me with rage. He deserves a fucking bullet right between his eyes after he is thrown in a dumpster in zero below weather.
Thanks for saying that CJ, now I dont have too.
Okay, come on now…Are you two that fucking lame? God, think outside of the box…This is not a boring website, anything goes…I would have rather experienced the story that way then not…Thanks, Danger for not being an idiot like CJ and Penny. I must say. they are the two most fucking boring user names I have ever heard…
Welcome to the style Danger chose fuckers…Choose your own shiznit. If you are going to criticize, learn how to do it with a little more respect if you are so freaking smart…
Hey, I like to teach…Here’s an idea. You can find some great examples of respectful criticism, on some of the earlier posts from Amy, Max, and Eternal..I was super sick of emotional posts at the time, and was able to express this without insulting the writers…Read and learn bitches, read and learn..
Yeah I am a lame writer, which is is why I don’t write the articles. Duh! Besides it isn’t as though I thought it totally sucked. Just a little long winded. Maybe we were just so spoiled from all the awsome writing this site used to have. I mind don’t some of the new writers here, but some have seemed to drag on and on. It is almost like reading a soap. I do appreciate the effort though. Structual critisism is good. Here is one for you and and a few others whiteiris. Quit being a suck ass. Have original thoughts, or people don’t care to read what you write. Try bringing something to the conversation instead of chiming in the same old BS.
Personally I haven’t got a huge problem with people’s criticism of my style or anyone else’s, even though I thought Danger Zone managed to find a way to do something I haven’t been able to do yet; make the reader understand what’s going through my mind as I write about cases like this, and why they affect me so much.
What I find so annoying about the harshness of CJ and Penny’s complaints is what it says about their priorities. THIS is what come to mind as you read this story for first time? I don’t know about you guys man, but I wasn’t thinking about Danger Zones God Damned writing style when I realized Demetrius the baby killer through his baby in a fucking dumpster while she was still alive so she could fucking freeze to death.
Thanks Max & WhiteI… I appreciate the back-up… Maybe what Penny is missing is her own criticism here.
1. You state that you are tired of reading the “Same Old BS” & “Have Something Original To Say or Don’t Chime In”… Okay, let’s look at that:
Does this story approach the topic in a manner that is different than the traditional PYSIH Wring Styles? Well, while the writing style is not brand new to literature, a 1st person/3rd person story is unique and original to PYSIH. Part of the attempt here was to open a door to something new by allowing this baby to be heard. This was literally the first time anybody was speaking up for her, but hopefully it won’t be the last as police & prosecutors move to put this monster on the table with a needle in his arm.
2. You said the story is long winded: Here your right, it’s not the longest on PYSIH, but it is about twice as long as standard story on PYSIH & probably about 4 times as long as the average story on the net.
3. Now, Does Ania offer any new information as far as the crime committed goes via her little statements with-in the story? Here, that is up to the reader to decide. If your a parent I find it extremely hard to not relate to the little paragraphs that represent her voice, her expectation of her Daddy coming to get her, of a getting her pink blankie & a puppy. It’s been said that a 6 month old would not think like this, I venture to say we don’t know because while I have 3 daughters, I can say they we’re thinking something at 6 months, but I will never know what. The best I can do is imagine. That is why this story took up so much space.
Now my question to you Penny: If this story’s writing style was so bad, why did you click on it and read it? After all, the preview on the Home Page definitely let’s one know your reading something from the mind of a small child.
Yeah I know you are a lame writer Penny..”Duh!”
If you were referring to me as a kiss ass, or suck ass or whatever then you may be right…Depending on who it is…You see I have a lot of passion inside, when it comes to something or someone I really like…I am not afraid to express that. This strong willed desire to express myself also comes in handy when there is a need to call out a person for their wrong doings, and in this case especially rub me the wrong way…Such as your comment about Danger’s story.
If that is your definition of a suck ass, I am not surprised. You are not very descriptive or convincing to begin with, I would not expect you to know the term.
I am sure your passion for strangers on the internet is very comforting. I sure they sleep better at night your their watching their back. Maybe they could call you their friend. You guys can meet up somewhere and hang out and discuss your ideas of hope and change. Tell each other how wonderful they are just to make them feel better. I’ll take a friend that tells me the truth any day. The story was long winded, and not in line of what a 6 month baby is capable of understanding. Are we only allowed to comment if it is something fluffy and nice, or warped fantasies about what we’d do if we met these shit heads.
Penny, your statement above says its not in line with what a 6 month old is capable of understanding: How do you know what a 6 month old is capable of understanding?
I know for a fact they do understand this:
1. Hunger
2. Temperature
3. Love
4. Anger (they do get mad, trust me. Just try taking something they really want)
5. Laugter (I’ve seen all 3 of my daughters laugh long before 6 months, and not just a smile, full blow laughter)
6. They do recognize individuals and long to be with someone specific. Try taking a 6 month old from her mother, most will scream up a storm if they don’t want you and do want mommy.
Now, the puppy? Okay that might be a little far, but this isn’t about what a 6 month old is capable of thinking, the point was to demonstrate how devoted an infant is to her parents. How trusting she is of everything they do. The perseverance of hope from this child when to the rest of us who have already experienced life first hand can see it’s headed for a horrid ending.
I am surprised by this though, as in the reading of all the stories on here that I’ve read, I’ve never once actually thought about the writing style of the author. Hell, I admit I hardly ever even look to see who wrote it as I am so angered over the actions of the person the story is about. The job of a writer is to know their audience, I am still learning mine.
Now, now Penny take it easy there. Everyone here knows how much you’re in love with your own opinion, but don’t go and mistake opinion for the truth. Maybe a 6 month old baby isn’t capable of understanding things like it’s portrayed in the story, but that what us writers would call poetic license. I think that’s the real reason you didn’t like this story, there were some fairly advanced concepts used and alot of it may have sailed right over your head. Unfortunately for you my job as editor doesn’t include “dumbing down” an article to the level of the least common denominator.
Damn, how many more kids are we going to read about like this. I really can’t take much more of this shit.
I hate you assholes that kill your kids. Fuck, if you don’t want them then fucking some fucking or give them to someone else who will love them.
RIP sweet beautiful baby doll.
I’m thankful that 6 month old babies aren’t capable of having the thought processes described in this story. It was horrific enough for the baby to freeze and suffocate to death alone in a dumpster–thank God she didn’t have the mental capacity to know what a shithead her father was. Yeah, I think Demetrius deserves the death penalty for this, and castration in the mean time so he can never use his sperm to bring another child into the world.
Odd. Was just showing my son how to play ‘Rockin’ in the Free World’ on guitar, and decided to check out PYSIH while he practices the first 3 chords – and now I’m reading about some kid in a garbage can. One more kid –
Maybe I can play with a little more passion and emotion now.
Oooh, wow, okay….breathe. I may just have to stay away from here for a while behind that story. It was just that easy to wrap her up and throw her away. Take her to the hospital, hell leave her on a doorstep. Doing this to newborns is evil enough, but a 6-month old? My god! Other people loved and bonded with her, what a truly selfish and cowardly act! I want him dead, now, I try not to get that angry, but this is just to much. What is our world coming too? What kind of world am I leaving behind for my son and daughter? Dammit, this combined with the murders of Seth Ireland, and Ja’shawn Powell is just too much for me. I’m going back to school this year and this story cements it. I want, I need to do something about this. And if I can’t stop it, DAMMIT the people who do these kinds of things need stiffer penalties. I need to do something! For now I gotta go love on my babies. Great write up, Danger. Despite the fact that you made me cry:-(!
Such a sad story, poor sweet baby, I don’t have any children but I do have a niece and nephew that are 9 months old and if anyone ever harmed them, it would be bad, for them of course.
R.I.P. Ania
wtf is going on in some people’s heads that they would do such a thing? why not give her to the grandmother?
at least one person loved and cared for this baby. was that not enough to let her live?
that is so fucked up, there are people who want to have children and havent been able to get pregnant. I’m one of them. Everytime I hear a story like this it breaks my heart. I could have taken care of her, just as I could have for many of the children we have read about.
I dont understand how someone could be so evil, I wonder how involved the mother was in this fucked up plan.
I hope he gets raped a million times in jail, pussy of a man.
That is the weird thing. They seemed to be living with the grandmother? She came home from work and the baby was gone. They had no reason to kill it.
The reason these people decide to kill their own children rather than giving them to someone who would actually care for the child is simple. They just don’t care. To them human life has no value, so why care about your own flesh and blood let alone a complete stranger.
Really all that baby knows is how to love! For a PIECE OF SHIT like this to do that to an innocent baby is unthinkable!
I don’t care HOW OLD YOU ARE, when you wake up and your baby is supposed to be there and is not…you need to ask yourself A. Where is my baby and B. What do I need to do to reach my baby so they are safe! You don’t just “CHILL” with yo baby daddy and wait for your mom to get home then help cover up where she is!
What a BUNCH OF LOSERS who should NOT procreate! It is a SHAME that grandma had to work! Also why would these LOW LIVES do this! They CLEARLY had help and well to bad if you can;t sell CRACK ANYMORE! People are so STUPID to think they can out smart the cops! ESPECIALLY uneducated ghetto dwellers!
Sickened, just wanted to let you know that it was actually Demetrius’ mother, Kawanis Duncan, who was loving this Little Angel.
Yes folks, it was HIS MOTHER who called the cops and told the cops she thought her son & his girlfriend had something to do with Ania’s disappearance, and she was right. To think, if Demetrius Duncan had gotten off his ass and gotten a job, his mother would of been happy to raise Ania and she would still be alive today.
DAM you must be a screwed up person if your mom can point the finger at you!!! Everybodies mom thinks there just the cutest little thing not his mom she was like BURN IN HELL DEMETRIUS, BURN IN HELL!!!
Your #1 point was directed to whiteiris and a few other commenters, and not directed towards the story.
It wasn’t soo bad, I just felt that had it been cleaned up a bit by a good editor, it may have been a smoother read. I enjoyed the style of writing. It enabled me to think more of how the baby actually would have felt, inturn causing me to view her more as a real person and less of a story. I guess I could have done a better job of being critical, or maybe not at all. The effort however, is always appreciated.
Well I can’t argue with that, the editor here really does suck. *laugh*
-max
Penny, I’m not condemning your criticism, I actually appreciate the feedback and will keep it in mind for future articles. However, I’d like to make you this challenge. Take a chance and do what I did yesterday afternoon.
Now, I work 60 hours a week in a normal job plus I am in the process of building a large site. I’m not a computer programmer/coder and have learned all of it over the past few months. Just click my screen name & start exploring, you’ll begin to get an idea of what I have take on since October. Now, in the middle of the day, find something that is both emotional & and passionate in your eyes. Something that you feel the world needs to know about, if it’s local it makes it all the more personal.
Next, sit down and write a story to post on it. I am pretty sure that Max will get it up on the board. Several times as I wrote this I had tear filled eyes and could hardly see the words on the screen, because this is basically in my own neighborhood. I live in Twinsburg Ohio, a suburg of Cleveland which means this POS could quite possibly have come in contact with my daughters one day.
Notice, this is the first story I’ve ever written, which Max I’m sure will be happy to validate and I wanted more than anyting for people to feel the hope of life Ania had, her desire to live, her love for the very person who killed her. I may have taken it overly long and approached it in a style that most are not used to, for the second I don’t apologize, as it’s simply the style of the writings. Good luck with writing a story and I really do look forward to reading it once you have it up, and don’t worry if it’s perfect, no one here is a professional writer.
I did try, and it sucked. I didn’t actually look to see who wrote it before I commented, so it wasn’t personal, I just honestly posted what I felt. I tend to always do that with no regard for other peoples feelings. I hope everyone else does too. Especially when they reply to me. I often learn from what other people say. Like earlier, your surprise that we thought of the writing skills before the baby. Good point. That was pretty crappy of us. And whiteiris said My name was lame. I didn’t put alot of thought into the screen name. My honey always says i’m from heaven, and as the song goes, “pennies from Heaven”. Anyways, I enjoy the honesty when it’s sweet, and when it is harsh.
Penny I am sorry I said your user name was lame…That was so lame of me…It’s actually pretty cool, Penny is special in it’s own way, not that you need me to validate anything…
Reading the comments back tonight I am cracking up because of all the extreme scrutiny. I get a little carried away sometimes depending on the day of course that you catch me on. Tonight I am pretty laid back, but alert and aware of my thoughts, as I sort through my head…:) (sometimes it takes a good live show to get me to relax for awhile, such as last night)
Any who, I’m glad I ran into this. Wow, your comment was not even that bad, come to think about it. And it seems to have been blown waaay out of proportion…LOL. How could that ever have happened? Never a dull moment. (wink)
Hey guys, we should go like hang out over on Admin’s post…Come on…
Penny it looks like your writing style has improved already…Thank god, kidding… But if I must explain, fine..(you’ve twisted my arm, wink). You are the stranger I have passion for at this moment. And what you, they, or anyone else considers me is their business..For me personally it is not that personal, I do not find comfort in this. I wish life was that easy…I’m pretty on edge actually, always faced with decisions, venti coffee (can’t help me), no sleep (if I can have it my way :o)), no time for this comment, but hey, it’s fun, but no comfort involved sorry. :o)..
I say what I am thinking. I especially like people to say what they are thinking as well. In fact I like people to express what is on their mind so much that, when you copped out with your half ass comment “Thanks for saying it so I don’t have to” I couldn’t help but beg for more. It is my nature, welcome to me Penny, nice to meet you I’m whiteiris. And I want to thank you for giving me what I wanted, a comment that was actually worth something, a few of them, wow. I never cower, it’s nice to see you didn’t either.
Look Penny it’s your comment:\/
“The story was long winded, and not in line of what a 6 month baby is capable of understanding. Are we only allowed to comment if it is something fluffy and nice, or warped fantasies about what we’d do if we met these shit heads.”
Good job. It allowed you to express your opinion while still respecting the writer. My work here is done. :)
What ever kiss ass (ha ha now you wanna change it up after everybody jumps down your throat.) Whatever I thought it was the shizzle and i love reading all of your styles i’ve been to other sites and this site is by far the best! Good job guys good job Screw you haterz.
NO!!! Oh my God no. What the fuck is wrong with people? Im sorry, i cant speak or talk right now as im crying too much….be back later…
Max, maybe you have me confused with the other suck asses. I am completely aware that I have no idea of what a 6 month old thinks, but the same affect could have been achieved whith out going over board.
You’d think I’d love my opinion so much, that I’d create an entire web site based soley on my own opinions of what other people do. Man I’d hate turn into that person. Unless, they wanted to pay me, oh that would just be terriffic. Man I hope no one has thought of that.
Enough already sheesh this thread is about something other than your thought of the way it was written move on already!!!
yes, i loved the style.
but i wish i could get in there & edit the typos.
“you’d of” = “you’d have”
“to” = “too” in places
“we’re” = “were”
max let me know if you ever want a checker. >_<
(my goal in my career life is to translate technical texts hehe)
If you’d like I’ll forward all my future articles to you for editing before they get submitted to Max to post…. Matter of fact, I’ve got a couple thousand pages you can edit if you like… Hehehehehe….
i will go through some stuff for you if you like, definitely!
can’t promise to fly through thousands of pages, but i like to proofread & will definitely volunteer to help.
send stuff to cat.rancher.alice at gmail, if you want, ok? :D
by the way, i really did enjoy this, i think you have a great style :)
Hey man, don’t be shy. Email me at editorpysih@comcast.net with the typos you catch and I’ll fix them up. Unfortunately I’m not able to give out the permissions needed for you to edit the stories yourself. I’m really busy at the moment and I seem to be missing a bit more than I used to, and besides, everyone can use another set of eyes.
Due to the rules in the US concerning minors and publications of names, sometimes it’s hard to find them. In this instance, it was difficault to find Ania Duncan’s Mother’s Name, until now. It appears the mother is in fact a 17 year old girl who now has some questions to answer.
Police say the child’s mother, 17-year-old Olga Vazquez gave inconsistent statements to police and will be arrested on charges of child endangering.
Now, off to find some pics of this idiot….
This story reminds me alot of the Casey Anthony case going on in Orlando. How these people can do this is beyond me. They need to man up.
All those lil blocks of what that lil girl could have been thinking made me cry…
I hate these fucking low life parents. I really do… Let me get 5 minutes with this boy i can guarantee he’d be feeling my rage.
Fry Motherfucker.
Yea… the way this was written has made it a really hard read. I can’t even bring myself to read the rest after the first italic paragraph. Cringing!
Well written I guess, just not for this site.
why is is that the people who criticize the most are always the ones who’ve never attempted to contribute a story themselves? stop talking and start writing. let’s see how well you do.
thank you, danger. good job your first go-round. my edenfield story was good, but since i’ve done a few more and learned when to and when not to interject my emotions/opinion, i fell i’ve gotten a lot better. you will, too.
agreed
id have to agree with some of the others, this post was just too long. and i appreciate the attempt to portray a young victim’s last thoughts but as a writer you need to edit yourself and find a way to paint that picture without losing your reader. i do mean these words to be helpful and not hurtful. although i am a quiet presence here, i love the site and appreciate all the regulars who care so much.
i actually gave up and started searching through the article for the actual details related to the crime committed.
my heart goes out to this little girl and to all the others who are so unfortunate to be born to evil people who will not cherish and love them the way they deserve.
I feel like everyone is being overly defensive here! People have different styles of writing, some readers will enjoy it and others will not. TDZ, you took a different approach than most of the other writers on this site and I commend you for that. It is a style that is all your own and there is an audience that will enjoy it. I personally feel that it was slightly repetitive and could have been a smoother read with some slight editing, as was suggested before. Other than that, awesome job. I don’t know if you knew this or not, but I actually live in Cuyahoga County (Cleveland Heights) so I definitely got some tingles down my spine reading this one.
On another note, I am completely appalled at how some of you handled Penny’s criticism. There were two people that posted before her with negative feedback and she basically gave a “ditto” and you crucified her! Was it because she’s more regular than the other two or do you just have it out for her? And honestly, who takes it to a level of insulting internet handles (that’s your user name for people who don’t know)? That is the lamest crock of shit I have seen on here from a legitimate poster in a long time.
Good job TDZ for getting the article out there. Thanks for speaking your mind Penny.
For the rest of you in on this, you should feel ashamed of your asinine sheep like behavior.
YoMomma I figured you lived in Summit County… Still not far from me… I actually wondered as I was writing this one up if you we’re writing it at the same moment as me.
As for all the comments on the literary skill used, I’m not professing to be an author or a writer, only a guy who spends his days with numbers and coding for the most part, who saw a story that made him cry. I’ll admit, once I started writing this, I never went back and did an edit on it. I just started writing and let it all out. As I read through it now, I see where I could of shortened it up some with an edit and maybe stepping back from it for awhile to reread it at a later time and then submitting the article. Thanks for all the constructive criticism on this.
I’ve seen the comments saying they couldn’t get past the first paragraph, I’d believe that is for multiple reasons. Some, it’s just not your style of writing, others it’s because it hits home. The beauty of writing is there is no right or wrong way to do it, each of us provides a unique style and at the end of the day all of us who come to this site regularly come for the same purpose.
I will in the future take more time to edit any stories that I submit, and I promise there will be more in the future. But the purpose of this article was to drive people to such a level of anger that you begin to push the Cuyahoga County Prosecutor to seek the death sentence on Demetrius Duncan and Olga Vazquez (Ania Duncan’s Mother). These stories out of Ohio are becoming all to common place and we need to drive the message home to those who enforce the laws that we will not put up with them not using the death penalty far more often. While it may cost a fortune to run the appeals process, house them & execute them, it is still much cheaper than housing them for life. Should we mention the costs to society if people like this ever get out again? As the article pointed out, Ania Duncan had a future filled with possibilities, Demetrius Duncan stole it from her, Olga Vazquez sat idly by while it happened and is just as guilty.
I know, I know…Yoyoma (Yomomma), I admit it was totally out of control, on my part…Looking back..wow..But I’m not surprised, it’s not the first “wow” moment I have had on PYSIH, or the last I am sure. But I agree, insulting usernames is bad m’kay, especially over Penny’s comment, this is actually hilarious. But come on, with a sweet ass user name such as whiteiris, everyone has got to bow down, at soome point, right? Okay, now I’m just fantasizing…I’ll give it up. :)
You’re a trip though Yomomma, I cant’ mess with you. It in away reminds me of True Blood’s Bill not being able to read Sookie’s mind…Or Twilights Edward Cullen’s lack of ability to read Bella’s…Okay, now I’m REALLY fantasizing…I think you get the point here…It’s all good. I like people that can keep me grounded.
FYI, most of my rants and raves are for fun, and I really do not feel as strongly as I seem to come across. Yes, take me seriously, but not too seriously. In other words, calm the fuck down, damn you like went off on me and shit. :)
I think with the large number of stories we’ve all been putting out lately, very few of which carry a positive note, that we all just felt the need to vent. After all, we put up 4 stories in 24 hours and only one of them was positive, the others we’re actually pretty harsh emotionally and it can take a toll as all the anger from these POS’s builds up.
This story was something I wanted up fast, so I did not take the time I should of to edit it, and the style was completely new to PYSIH and definitely brought a lot of emotion for some of the readers. In the future, I will be editing my stories better, using A thing call cat to help with those and of course Max’s great editing abilities. I apologize for getting into the mix on you Penny, I wasn’t trying to offend you, but I did go where I shouldn’t have within my posts.
I really do love this site and hope we are doing something to help the world be a better place for our kids to grow up. So, let’s put all this behind us and instead work on making sure a prosecutor goes after the death penalty and Ania Duncan did not die in vain.
I don’t think any of you that are bitching about the way this story was written have a right to bitch. If you have never even attempted to contribute a story then just shut the fuck up.
I think this kind criticism is not structural but just fucking down right mean & stupid.
If you are going to bitch then you all need to stop saying the same thing. Makes me wonder if you are not the same person.
Obviously none of you ever read a fucking book and was lost in the story. I think he done a great job in capturing the thoughts of a baby who was supposed to be loved by her father.
I hope you’re not addressing me, Lavonna! By the way, I put up a link to the Facebook group that had Phelp’s daughter’s cell phone number. I don’t know if it’s still up but happy searching. :-p
No, When I wrote that Yomamma you had not even commented. So nope I was not talking to you ;-)
Thanks for the link I will look. I did find their number it was still the same thing that I had in my phone.
By the way, I have read what you have wrote and you do an awesome job as well.
Awww, thanks.
Since the comment in the other article has a link, we may have to wait for it to be “moderated” before it’s actually posted.
I like how Lavonna posted “then just shut the fuck up”, that’s cool. I could hear the words coming out of her mouth. That was a slap you in your face comment… “just shut the fuck up”, “…melodious.
I need rest, I’m delirious…Why am I posting this here? Where am I?
Song Check: My Delirium by Ladyhawke 2008..WE can post picture icons? Cool…
Hey Ctrl-f the word “fuck” on this page…It’s funny..Don’t ask…
I ctrl-f that word and I think I counted 28 but not sure.. :-)
Now I got 25 when I counted them up… 26 if you can it in the search box… Fuck… Now what the fuck are we going to do to figure out what the fucking true count of the word fuck is on the fuckface fucked up fucking article?
Did I just fuck-up the whole count?
LOL What? Fuck! Now I fucking have to count them fucking again! I fucking may have been fucking wrong! :-)
I am sorry if I sound absurd here, but I do not understand this idea of “you cannot criticize until you have written an article.”
He obviously worked hard on that article and for people to make out like it was too long and not a good story was just mean.,
Have they written anything and I missed it?
I have seen your work, Amy and Enternal but I don’t think I have ever seen Penny’s or CJ or Kiss MY Aura and Lolly.
I wasn’t aware that we are to critique this articles, I thought we was to cast our votes.
ETERNAL, lavonna.
sorry to be anal about it, but it was bothering me. you must spell my superhero alter ego name correctly, or i’ll refuse to save mankind.
Sorry Brianna :-)
wow, she used my government name! would you call superman clark kent? lololol
funny.. see you all tomorrow.
Yomomma I would never want to offend you in anyway and if I have I am sorry.
You haven’t offended me! Jeesh! haha
You are so sweet, I’ll see ya when I see ya.
We are not here to critique the articles, we are meant to enjoy them and if someone is giving advice to the writer as to how to make the article more enjoyable, I don’t see the harm in that.
I understand that some people may have gotten out of hand but to say that you cannot critique until you have submitted something is stifling to those who may actually want to offer something constructive.
I guess when people start attacking others like Danger I get puffed up. I would take up for you, Amy, ETERNAL and Max and some others as well. that is why I said what I said. I love this site and I don’t like to see people who try be dogged like that.
i personally wasn’t saying you have no right to criticize until you have written an article, because constructive criticism is helpful, and we can all benefit from some. but to anyone who has nothing constructive to say, i challenge you to write a good quality article that the rest of us may citique. it’s only fair that we should see whether or not they are up to the challenge, and if they can do a better job.
ETERNAL (haha)
That is what I was saying but you said it better than me.
i’m getting used to saying it. i’ve been doing so since i got a shitload of criticism about my emotions on the edenfield article.
however, i have since learned to reserve my emotions for the comment section under my articles.
If the criticizer is being a douche, let them be a douche and just tell them you do not agree or that what they are saying is wrong. I don’t see how challenging them is any more constructive. If an article is difficult to read, it is difficult to read; the reader’s own literary skills are irrelevant.
challenging them isn’t meant to be constructive. i’m merely curious to see what they can come up with if they apply all their ideas regarding what a good story does or doesn’t need towards themselves.
I was wondering what exactly you were getting at.
New poster here, longtime reader.
This was one of the most heartwrenching reads ever. Excellent write-up, Danger. Credit to you. The sick bastard…
-Zach
welcome. thanks for commenting.
Lavonna, why are you taking this so personally? Your not allowing us to have an opinion just because we haven’t written anything for the site!? So are we not even allowed to come and read this site unless we’re also contributing?
It was just constructive critisism, get over yourself, you seem to think you are somehow above us because you have written an article for this site.
I couldn’t even read this article…and its the first time ever. Not because it was too heart wrenching, but because it was just…. cringing I guess. I suppose though it depends what you come to this site for, to read factual articles or to read fictional recreations of what you think that possibly, just maybe, hey you never know, this is what the baby might have been thinking….
You see what I did there Lavanna, I looked at it from both sides… something you obviously can’t do…your way or the highway. Ohhh, I guess I can only wish to be as intellectual as you…writing articles for websites, being elitist and banning people from having opinions that arent the same as yours.
It seems I’m not allowed to post here, or maybe even read articles from this site unless I’ve written one for it myself….
It was merely constructive criticism and the writer seemed to have taken it as exactly that – constructive.
Less fiction – more fact.
Kiss my Aura Dora (I’m sorry, I just had to say that once. I’m a big Frank Zappa fan). But t seriously, I totally disagree with you on part of what you’re saying. You can critique as much as you want on this board, anyone can. I’ve only got 5 or 6 writers, so that leaves alot of people who post without contributing a word to a story.
The other thing that bothers me is dogging a writer for his style of writing, like what happened here. I think Danger Zone was just speculating on how it must have felt for poor Ania Duncan while her moron of a father tossed her into a dumpster and let her freeze to death. Haven’t you ever read about something like what happened to this baby and said to yourself “God, that poor kid, it must have been horrible for her, I wonder what she might have been thinking” Well, I think DZ asked that question of himself, and then attempted to answer it, and included it in the story for effect. It was my idea to italicize it because I’ve seen other writers do what Danger did and that’s how it was handled. I liked it, you didn’t and that’s cool…but why it was made into as big an issue as is is, well I don’t see it. You could have skipped those parts…it was easy enough to recognize them.
There’s a reason that, as the editor of this site, I never change the basic content of a story. I may add some details I think we missed, but I never remove anything…because I’m not smart enough to know for sure what my writer is trying to say, or how they are trying to say it. Staying humble and within certain limits has served me well.
Max the Cat – (Is it real angora? You want some mora?) I was more adressing Lavonna, I totally understand what you are saying, not everyone agrees with each other, in fact by the looks of it most people disagree with me and thats cool.
My last (long) post was an anger fuelled post cos she pissed me off! Getting all high and mighty and stuff just becasue she’s written an article for the site and saying that until we write one ourselves we can’t comment! If you look, my first post was short, sweet and constructive.
And I too don’t understand why people are turning it into some huge thing. Although I must confess I did chip in with that last uber long message, but only because, like I said, I was miffed!
And it wasn’t the fact that it was written in italics, it was the content. Of course I wonder sometimes what the poor victim was thinking, but I just found this a bit cheesey. But again before I’m lynched – JUST MY OPINION – most people seem to disagree with me, but thats fine with me, unlike Lavonna and Eternal etc I believe everyone is entitled to their own one.
I personally like to think what the hell was going on in the accuseds head I mean.. who in their right mind would do this kind of stuff?
I’ve never commented on an article and I have been coming to this site for at least 2 years and I certainly doubt I’ll be commenting again as it seems if you disagree with the ‘locals’ or the ‘writers’ here then you’re sure to be hung drawn and quartered!
Do you think Kiss My Aura deserves hell?
? YES! BURN BITCH BURRRRN HOW DARE YOU THINK FOR YOURSELF
? No, everyone deserves their own opinion
unless you’re going to post facts, you need to leave me out of your bullshit. i never said i didn’t feel anyone was entitled to their own opinion. i just said that the people being most negative needed to apply their criticism to a story of their own.
You can kiss mine too after you kiss Max’s. I didn’t take it personally but I don’t like seeing people being mean.
I don’t see any articles with my name on it, dufus.
What is this college? Are you a professor? You couldn’t be. You didn’t spell correctly.
Your = You’re.
critisism = criticism
its= it’s
arent=aren’t
Lavanna=Lavonna
Why don’t you write one for us and we’ll critique you and see if you like it.
If you don’t like it then just keep your mouth shut and move on to thre next one.
Kiss My Anal,
What story did I write?
Hahah no YOU’RE not taking it personally at all are you!
Oh and by the way… you also made a typo in your 2nd to last post. TO HELL WITH YOU DUNCE!!!!!!
….very witty as well by the way the whole “kiss my anal”…. hilarious LAVANNA. Why are you wasting your time being bitter here? You should be a comedian.
Oh and by the way… you also made a typo in your 2nd to last post. TO HELL WITH YOU DUNCE!!!!!!
——————
I never said that dumbass. Go back and see who it was but it wasn’t me.
And by the way ‘Professor’ that should probably be Kiss My Anus. Kiss my anal doesn’t make sense….but of course you knew that didn’t you, being all knowing and all that jazz.
One last thing, if I’m such a ‘dufus’ for missing apostrophes out in some places (purely because I was typing so fast and not rechecking, or hell probably because I dont care), then what are YOU for writing this little gem:
“By the way, I have read what you have wrote and you do an awesome job as well”
Wrote..? WROTE!? Shouldn’t that be WRITTEN? Haha you FOOL!
You act like an anal. That is why I wrote anal.
Come on girls, can’t we all just agree that Demetrius Duncan is a total douche bag who should be eternaly tortured in hell.
P.S. Kiss My Aura is acting like an anus. One can be anal, one can act anal but one cannot act like an anal.
Here here. I agree! Demetrius Duncan is a total douche bag…. as is Lavonna.
Muahaha
Both of you can kiss my crack. You are still ASSHOLES
Yeah ladies, comon. I starting to really like you Kiss My Aura, and Lavonna already knows that she’s one of my favorite people here on PYSIH.
Don’t make come over there…
Awwwwe, you are so sweet Max ;-)
Wow So many opinions about writing style!
FWIW, this story wasn’t my favourite style. I prefer a massive dose of sarcasm.
I also don’t tend to like reading anthromorphing of either animals or infants.
In my world it makes sense that babies don’t ‘love’ per se, but they have needs. Those needs should be met by adults in their lives even if the tradeoff isn’t ‘love’. Adults have the obligation to provide safety, comfort and affection to children even if it is not returned. A baby and/or child does not need to be capable of ‘love’ yet in order to deserve to be loved, IMO.
While it was written in a bit flowery of a way, the story did touch on the needs that were not being met. It also included a fair amount of detail, which is good (for me) because I like detail.
Even though I’m not fond of stories from the imagined perspective of the victim, as long as they aren’t making facts up, where’s the harm?
Cold? X Plastic bag? X Dumpster? X Lying POS adult druggie murderer? X ……… all bases covered. Some people like a sentimental slant to a story- variety is probably good in this case.
I will say, however, that if the child had not attended college, or even high school, never cured cancer…… if they’d just been poor and uneducated, they still deserved to be loved and cared for and not treated like garbage.
I look forward to seeing how the different writers here progress.
c
Oh, Danger. What were you thinking, stepping outside of the box like that? You should never leave the box! Different is bad! ;)
You made me cry. Okay, I almost cried. This story broke my heart for many reasons already mentioned. It sounds like this baby was loved by at least one person. She had a shot in the world, but her stupid, selfish, worthless parents took it away from her. They deserve nothing more than the same treatment. It’s a sad world when we find ourselves wishing that more people would abandon their children (because that would be better than murdering them.)
What happened to her breaks my heart.
They should have tortured him to find out where she was. In those 14 hours she could have been saved.
we need more cops like vic mackey
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Q55GXYnP7E
with that guy as a father the kid probably would not have turned out to be a nobel prize winner
That’s not the point of it bj… The point is we don’t know what she would of done with her life. The world is filled with kids who rise above their upbringing and overcome amazing odds and contribute to society.
Yeah, douche, and with Beethoven being deaf, he probably wouldn’t have become one of the greatest composers to ever live. I get your logic. Let’s kill everyone with a disadvantage because nothing good could ever come of them.
why save her at all? it’s not like she was a beautiful little girl?
maybe if you were freezing to death in a dumpster you’d want someone trying to save you…but we’d probably be better off without an asshole like you who makes comments about a murdered little girl like that
I thought it was well written. Something new for PYSH, but still damn well written.
I know it made me cry.
I liked the fact that Danger gave us a POSSIBILITY of what the victim’s perspective. The innocence of a child, the fact that for some time the child may have interpreted these acts of pure hate as loving attention – the fact that her father was spending some time with her!
Sure this story could have been written in the traditional manner – totally third person, BUT first person 6 month old victim – is a new angle. Pure innocence to the point that nothing could be thought of as bad.
Anyway this guy needsto be hung in a cage from a street light until he freezes to death. I wil gladly give him a binkey so that he can choose which part of him he can keep warm – as to prolong his stay on Earth. Hell from him won’t be very more comfortable – an eternity of loneliness, hunger and cold awaits.
With some stories, it’s just simply hard to breathe after reading them. This one was one of them, as are most on this site. It took me there. I hated being there. I’m sure this little angel did too. One of the biggest questions I’m asking God all the time is simply “why?’
I hope the parents rot…with much enthusiasm on the part of the maggots feeding upon them.
I guess I don’t really look too much into how these are written, as much as the stories that are contained by the writing. Don’t take that as I don’t appreciate different writing styles, nor does that diminish the fact that you each work hard to get the stories out. I guess that maybe some of the side chatter on anything other than topic is a little tension relief in a way.
Maybe I’m just rambling, it’s been known to happen.
How does anyone vote “no” this man should not fry in hell?
I thought the telling of this story was unique and brings the reader closer to wonder what a baby might think. Compels you even more to feel for this loss of life, before it was even allowed to thrive, to try. Taking a life is one thing, but to just discard an innocent as if she was a threat to the “sperm doner” parent. I applaud The Danger Zone for taking this story to an even more personal level.
Yes, this man is clearly an idiot. I am a parent myself and stories like these make me want to shake some sense into these people. Why in the world would you go out of your way to throw away your child? Why was waking up her mother never an option? Or for that matter, maybe he could wait to sell his crack until there was an adult there to look after the child. Reading this I see no reason for his motive. Maybe he did have one, but I don’t see it. Was it that he was tired of having a kid? In that case MAYBE YOU SHOULD KEEP IT IN YOUR FUCKING PANTS IN THE FIRST PLACE and you won’t have to deal with children. Hmm, yes, this man is clearly an idiot.
i usually dont comment on the things that i read here. This time i will though. the story sucked. plain and simple. it would have been just okay if it wasnt for the infants point of view. that was just corny. seriously.
I guess he infants point of view doesnt rate a mention for some….
Thank you, Amy that’s what I was gonna say. Maybe the infants possible thoughts and feelings don’t make for “good reading” to some. Well, like I said before I like the story and I cried and basically held my 2-year old and 11-month old hostage all night!:-) For me it is like this story tipped the scale, and, it made what Ania went thru that much more real to me. We rarely get the possible insight of the victims and this was a good change, IMO.
Wow, that police force is amazing. Too bad their efforts just weren’t quite enough. I hope this piece of shit isn’t afraid of needles. Actually, I hope he is, that way his last few seconds of life will be full of fear, right before he spends the rest of eternity rotting in hell.
In this one Cleveland City PD pretty much said fuck you to the world and the rules as they went out of their way to find this little one… It was cold out and as young as she was, she stool little to no chance of surviving the elements… If more cops were willing to take this chance, saying a life is on the line and saving that life is more important than inconveniencing someone a little, then maybe we would find more of these kids before they ended up dead….
It’s just sad that it took so long for them to even get the call that she was missing…
This may be a long shot, but this isn’t Specter as in my “Apparition” Spector is it? Wishful thinking I suppose. Still can’t help but feel it is you. The words do not sound like you. Would you be that rational about things? “Piece of shit”? “The needle”? Would you have chose this story to comment on? Really? Nah…Besides, you would not be as literal as to go by Specter. Or would you? You speak in poem, it is your nature, your style? It can’t be you. Oh, well entertaining thought though. Just in case you are trying to disguise yourself by writing in literal fashion, I find it amusing, but will the real you please come forward, and prove yourself by describing how I get my nails painted or what I was wearing today? You can use symbolism or you should be able to summarize that with one word. (the word is not ‘nothing’ People of PYSIH)
You know I would really like to know. Are you doing this to sarcastically fit in with the other commentators? Hmmm, now that would be funny…To only me…until now. :) Do I fit in with the other commentators? Are you mimicking me? Do I even have real commentary? What story are we talking about? Kidding. I don’t use “piece of shit” I use ‘POS’, get it straight my darling Apparition. lol.
I could barely read this article, the infant’s point of view was ridiculous.
I don’t know many 6 month olds that are serious…
Agreed.
I am guessing this was written by Danger, I think it was very moving, it gave me chills but also made me realize how true it is that babies have only a few minimal needs met and they are happy, just as you implied, trust, devotion to their caretakers, hunger, sense of security, whether it be that blankie or the binkie, or the warth of grandmas smile. I babysit my 6 month old neice and she is so attached to me and she only spends two days a week with me. You walk out of thier site and they panick, they try to hold it in but in the end they succumb to fears of being without the one they feel most protected by. And although we say it sounds as if your stating things to old for a baby how do we know that for sure? Fear is fear, cold is cold and pain is pain…What a horrible way for such a trusting soul to have to die. Kudos to you great job…Maybe her parents will end up in limbo after they die and she will find them and haunt them for eternity.
Sorry, but I agree with the people who didn’t like the baby’s “thoughts.” I don’t know why exactly; it was just too distracting. And yes, I agree, long-winded.
This is not meant as disrespect. I think it was more of a personal preference. You guys don’t need to fight so much about a simple difference of preference. I enjoyed the rest of the writing of the story, but the thoughts seemed to somehow take away from the severity of the crime. At least to me.
I do not agree with you stating that you wish the grandmother had not been at work. She was probably the only one who provided for that child so don’t you ever shed a nagative light on her!
Go back and re-read the story ?!. There was NOTHING negative said about the grandmother in this case.
That was my exact point in that statement… That while the father was 19 and able bodied, the mother Olga Vazquez 17 and able bodied, the Grandmother was the only one responsible enough to have a job. Had this piece of shit Demetrius gotten off his ass and taken responsibility as a father for his daughter, gotten a job, been the true proud father he fooled people into thinking he was, then she wouldn’t of had to work to take care of him and Ania could of spent more time with her Grandmother. This was in no way negative on the Grandmother, to the contrary, it’s a huge compliment as to how serious she takes her responsibilities and is willing to admit her son is a loser and pick up the slack for him also.
Um “?!” Danger did not shed any negative light on the grandmother! Hell he made it known that she was the ONLY ONE who cared about and loved Ania! You severley misunderstood the simple fact that he just wishes Ania could have been saved by her grandmother.
“Yeeeah…the “thoughts” of the little girl were pretty lame”
Sorry, I agree
“What I find so annoying about the harshness of CJ and Penny’s complaints is what it says about their priorities. THIS is what come to mind as you read this story for first time? I don’t know about you guys man, but I wasn’t thinking about Danger Zones God Damned writing style when I realized Demetrius the baby killer through his baby in a fucking dumpster while she was still alive so she could fucking freeze to death”
It was cheezy and distracting
Another piece of shit who deserves the death penalty. Why in the fuck do that to a baby? My son is the same age and I could not imagine doing such a thing to him. I hope this cunt dies.
It amazes me how often this happens… everywhere. Third world countries, Europe, America, New Zealand… wow. Always shocking & sickening, but man this is getting to be common or it always has been I am just alot more aware of it since I started reading this site.
This article was ruined by the way it was written. the author obviously fictionalized the entire “hide and seek” scenario. also, the paragraphs where the author “guessed” at what they “thought the baby was thinking”. i mean, what fucking 6 month old thinks like that?
honestly i tried to read this and gain some straightforward information on the case but i was constantly distracted by the horrible writing. it was so bad that by the end i was more in favor the the author being sent to hell than demetrius duncan.
obviously, when your articles are so bad that you cause readers to sympathize with the accused, you should stop writing. forever. please.
Come on, Rob. This story is no where near as terrible as you make it sound. I liked it. I appreciate when a writer has the creativity to do something different and change perspective. I appreciate the dark humor. I think TDZ has prose for different area codes. LOL.
If you seriously are that bugged by the writing on this site, again, please submit something. Otherwise, it is like voting. If you dont vote-or in this case, submit something-you can’t complain.
Rob, it’s called creative license. Transference of thought projected from the writer to the victim. It is used for effect and to make a point. There is no writer on the planet that could possibly convey the fear and hurting that this baby went through before she died. However, I think the writer did an excellent job of trying and succeeding in giving a glimpse into the fear and confusion that this little innocent felt in her final moments. If you think you could do better, as Poptart suggested, by all means submit your own.
You know something Rob? This isn’t a literary critique, this is just some asshole just trying to be mean and nasty. Why are you being mean and nasty Rob? What makes you think your opinion is so important?
The people who write for me and this site are as dedicated and passionate a bunch of people as you’ll ever find. I’m extremely lucky to have them and so are the readers of this blog. They work their asses off because they care about the things they write about.
So why don’t you give it a try bigshot? I promise you, if you stick to the right subject matter, I’ll publish your story. Comon man, stick your neck out, the same way all these other people do, and put your ideas and creativity out there for all the world to see.
That’ll be the day….
You know, it really doesn’t matter what style Danger wrote in. What matters is that a total ass hat dumped his precious beautiful baby in a dumpster, and proceeded to sell drugs to suit his life style. There is no level of hell deep enough for this guy and the female who grew this angel.
I personally liked the style a bit, although I kept imagining the child to be around 3 years old. That was distracting. I raised three children, was a substitute teacher in primary schools and a cub scout den mother. I know children to a certain degree. Babies’ priorities are a bit different, more towards immediate goals. However, I truly enjoyed the perspective from the victim. It brought the situation so much closer to my heart.
And enough with those of you telling us to submit stories before we can critique. Some of us are actually readers, not writers. And yes, I was also a college instructor who graded thousands of papers, so I know the difference. I also edited technical engineering textbooks. I read them. I never wrote them. Does that mean I cannot commit on them? This is a blog, so that pretty much means everyone can share their opinion, yes?
I say gung ho, Danger. These stories rarely bring a tear to my eye. I’ve lived too long for that. But this one hit me deep. Thank you for your work and effort. Please continue.
Well, this comment is unlikely to be read by anyone who posted originally on this story (more than a year ago).
Still, as I was going over some of the stories here on infants who met their demise through their parents, I came across this rather new writing style tackling one hell of a wretched reality tale.
Was this the first thing that struck me?
No. The facts of any story are neither diminished nor slanted by the writer’s style as the techniques I established early on in my life for reading information deal strictly with seeking the facts. It is true that the style will reveal obvious biases the writer may have, but that is a secondary consideration.
I love this site and there have not been any poorly written articles. Yes, I am a writer. Writing is not something that I just chose to do; it is a sickening compulsion that drives me and thank God no one will ever have to sift through the thousands of pages I have written in my lifetime.
The establishment of the internet should have seen the demise of grammar guards and syntax nazis, but apparently the world wide web has given birth to snipers — commentators who decide to pick apart the efforts of others in a well-structured attempt to build themselves up. It is human nature at its worse, much like the cretin in this story. It isn’t surprising, but it is tiresome.
The crux of this story is that a human soul was extinguished by something that is low-level evil disguised as a human male. Would an infant think like this? Perhaps not, but the writer had to put the words of an infant into an understandable format for the readers to “feel” for the infant. What the baby was processing was undoubtedly “cold, cold, pain, darkness, fear, anxious, panic, cold, cold, darkness, fear…” The infant would have nothing but these instinctual waves flowing through her in the fourteen hours it took to die.
While I love this site and I send in ideas for the writers to peruse, I wouldn’t want to place my work on such a hot-button and passionate topic up for people to jump all over the grammar, spelling, syntax, style, etc. Apparently these “your work is a piece of shit — but hey, I’m just giving you an honest critique, man”–type individuals have missed the intent of the author, or perhaps they are, as I noted above, the type of people who need to rip down others in order to gain a feeling of self-worth. Either way, they need to surf the web a little bit more and sample exactly what IS out there in terms of quality and substance. This site is never a disappointment either for its writing or its research. It is well documented and the stories are always linked to backup material.
I tell others whenever I can to check the site out as it gives a snapshot of our society as it is at this point in time and the writers often say what I would if I could.
The attacks were not critiques and they read as being very personal (you suck, so there!). It doesn’t make sense unless one makes the assumption that the details of this story were just so maddening, just so infuriating, that some people found themselves at a loss to get rid of the anger and bile they found rising in themselves and decided to rip into the writer’s technique as a substitute target to vent on as no one can get to Demetrius Duncan (though we would like to).
To TDZ, I don’t know if you wrote more for this site, but I certainly hope you did. I’ll let you in on a little bias of my own: initially, I thought you were a female writer as I do not typically equate male writers with being able to get inside an infant’s thought processes or with even wanting to express the baby’s point of view. Kudos to you for proving me (yet again) wrong in my initial assumptions. Quite often, when I read the details of these crimes, I have a part of my mind that thinks of the things that would go through my mind if I were the victim. It is certainly something I would like to excise from my brain, but I can’t. Understanding the criminal is unfortunately easy, but the empathy I have for victims leaves me sad, mad, weak, angry, and, most of all, desperate for justice. By writing this story, you tried to be a voice for a child that will never get to grow up. Victims need us, the ones left behind, to be their voice, no matter what forum we have. If we can speak for them, then we must. It is the only form of justice, quite frankly, that the system cannot contaminate or corrupt.
Again, my best wishes for all who support PYSIH and the victims whose stories need to be told.