Comments on: Demetrius Duncan

By: Budgiegirl

Budgiegirl — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 02:47:33 +0000

Well, this comment is unlikely to be read by anyone who posted originally on this story (more than a year ago).
Still, as I was going over some of the stories here on infants who met their demise through their parents, I came across this rather new writing style tackling one hell of a wretched reality tale.
Was this the first thing that struck me?
No. The facts of any story are neither diminished nor slanted by the writer’s style as the techniques I established early on in my life for reading information deal strictly with seeking the facts. It is true that the style will reveal obvious biases the writer may have, but that is a secondary consideration.
I love this site and there have not been any poorly written articles. Yes, I am a writer. Writing is not something that I just chose to do; it is a sickening compulsion that drives me and thank God no one will ever have to sift through the thousands of pages I have written in my lifetime.
The establishment of the internet should have seen the demise of grammar guards and syntax nazis, but apparently the world wide web has given birth to snipers — commentators who decide to pick apart the efforts of others in a well-structured attempt to build themselves up. It is human nature at its worse, much like the cretin in this story. It isn’t surprising, but it is tiresome.
The crux of this story is that a human soul was extinguished by something that is low-level evil disguised as a human male. Would an infant think like this? Perhaps not, but the writer had to put the words of an infant into an understandable format for the readers to “feel” for the infant. What the baby was processing was undoubtedly “cold, cold, pain, darkness, fear, anxious, panic, cold, cold, darkness, fear…” The infant would have nothing but these instinctual waves flowing through her in the fourteen hours it took to die.
While I love this site and I send in ideas for the writers to peruse, I wouldn’t want to place my work on such a hot-button and passionate topic up for people to jump all over the grammar, spelling, syntax, style, etc. Apparently these “your work is a piece of shit — but hey, I’m just giving you an honest critique, man”–type individuals have missed the intent of the author, or perhaps they are, as I noted above, the type of people who need to rip down others in order to gain a feeling of self-worth. Either way, they need to surf the web a little bit more and sample exactly what IS out there in terms of quality and substance. This site is never a disappointment either for its writing or its research. It is well documented and the stories are always linked to backup material.
I tell others whenever I can to check the site out as it gives a snapshot of our society as it is at this point in time and the writers often say what I would if I could.
The attacks were not critiques and they read as being very personal (you suck, so there!). It doesn’t make sense unless one makes the assumption that the details of this story were just so maddening, just so infuriating, that some people found themselves at a loss to get rid of the anger and bile they found rising in themselves and decided to rip into the writer’s technique as a substitute target to vent on as no one can get to Demetrius Duncan (though we would like to).
To TDZ, I don’t know if you wrote more for this site, but I certainly hope you did. I’ll let you in on a little bias of my own: initially, I thought you were a female writer as I do not typically equate male writers with being able to get inside an infant’s thought processes or with even wanting to express the baby’s point of view. Kudos to you for proving me (yet again) wrong in my initial assumptions. Quite often, when I read the details of these crimes, I have a part of my mind that thinks of the things that would go through my mind if I were the victim. It is certainly something I would like to excise from my brain, but I can’t. Understanding the criminal is unfortunately easy, but the empathy I have for victims leaves me sad, mad, weak, angry, and, most of all, desperate for justice. By writing this story, you tried to be a voice for a child that will never get to grow up. Victims need us, the ones left behind, to be their voice, no matter what forum we have. If we can speak for them, then we must. It is the only form of justice, quite frankly, that the system cannot contaminate or corrupt.
Again, my best wishes for all who support PYSIH and the victims whose stories need to be told.

By: Southern Lady

Southern Lady — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 18:47:45 +0000

You know, it really doesn’t matter what style Danger wrote in. What matters is that a total ass hat dumped his precious beautiful baby in a dumpster, and proceeded to sell drugs to suit his life style. There is no level of hell deep enough for this guy and the female who grew this angel.

I personally liked the style a bit, although I kept imagining the child to be around 3 years old. That was distracting. I raised three children, was a substitute teacher in primary schools and a cub scout den mother. I know children to a certain degree. Babies’ priorities are a bit different, more towards immediate goals. However, I truly enjoyed the perspective from the victim. It brought the situation so much closer to my heart.

And enough with those of you telling us to submit stories before we can critique. Some of us are actually readers, not writers. And yes, I was also a college instructor who graded thousands of papers, so I know the difference. I also edited technical engineering textbooks. I read them. I never wrote them. Does that mean I cannot commit on them? This is a blog, so that pretty much means everyone can share their opinion, yes?

I say gung ho, Danger. These stories rarely bring a tear to my eye. I’ve lived too long for that. But this one hit me deep. Thank you for your work and effort. Please continue.

By: ?

Wed, 13 May 2009 05:21:00 +0000

why save her at all? it’s not like she was a beautiful little girl?

maybe if you were freezing to death in a dumpster you’d want someone trying to save you…but we’d probably be better off without an asshole like you who makes comments about a murdered little girl like that

By: Max The Cat

Max The Cat — Fri, 01 May 2009 21:06:13 +0000

You know something Rob? This isn’t a literary critique, this is just some asshole just trying to be mean and nasty. Why are you being mean and nasty Rob? What makes you think your opinion is so important?

The people who write for me and this site are as dedicated and passionate a bunch of people as you’ll ever find. I’m extremely lucky to have them and so are the readers of this blog. They work their asses off because they care about the things they write about.

So why don’t you give it a try bigshot? I promise you, if you stick to the right subject matter, I’ll publish your story. Comon man, stick your neck out, the same way all these other people do, and put your ideas and creativity out there for all the world to see.

That’ll be the day….

By: blondie

blondie — Fri, 01 May 2009 19:35:42 +0000

Rob, it’s called creative license. Transference of thought projected from the writer to the victim. It is used for effect and to make a point. There is no writer on the planet that could possibly convey the fear and hurting that this baby went through before she died. However, I think the writer did an excellent job of trying and succeeding in giving a glimpse into the fear and confusion that this little innocent felt in her final moments. If you think you could do better, as Poptart suggested, by all means submit your own.

By: poptart1

poptart1 — Fri, 01 May 2009 18:59:44 +0000

Come on, Rob. This story is no where near as terrible as you make it sound. I liked it. I appreciate when a writer has the creativity to do something different and change perspective. I appreciate the dark humor. I think TDZ has prose for different area codes. LOL.

If you seriously are that bugged by the writing on this site, again, please submit something. Otherwise, it is like voting. If you dont vote-or in this case, submit something-you can’t complain.

By: Rob

Rob — Fri, 01 May 2009 18:25:01 +0000

This article was ruined by the way it was written. the author obviously fictionalized the entire “hide and seek” scenario. also, the paragraphs where the author “guessed” at what they “thought the baby was thinking”. i mean, what fucking 6 month old thinks like that?

honestly i tried to read this and gain some straightforward information on the case but i was constantly distracted by the horrible writing. it was so bad that by the end i was more in favor the the author being sent to hell than demetrius duncan.

obviously, when your articles are so bad that you cause readers to sympathize with the accused, you should stop writing. forever. please.

By: Susan

Susan — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 19:17:49 +0000

It amazes me how often this happens… everywhere. Third world countries, Europe, America, New Zealand… wow. Always shocking & sickening, but man this is getting to be common or it always has been I am just alot more aware of it since I started reading this site.