Raipher D. Pelligrino
While we think we have read about the lowest of the low – pedophiles, rapists, murders and people who are any combination of these and more – there is still a form of life that is lower than this, a group of people who dedicate their lives to keeping the bottom of the barrel alive so that they can feed. Even Satan fears these bottom feeders and can’t stand the site of them. Hell has a place for them which are darker, hotter and deeper so that Satan can rest a little more easily. Who is this creature that makes even Satan cower in fear?
Defense Attorneys!
That’s right, within this fraternity of lawyers you call to save your butt when you are falsely accused of a crime, when you child is arrested for some offense that will destroy his chance at a normal life, these watchdogs of the Bill of Rights, there exists a small minority of men without morals or principles, men who will do anything to win a case. And just when it appears that these bottom feeders have finished sucking the common sense out of the legal system, one comes about to suck a little harder proving that there is something lower than the bottom. While sending society to hell in a hand basket, with a straight face they will say that they act on the behalf of their client’s best interests. Their bill will state otherwise….
If you thought there could not be another reason to lose sleep at night, Raipher D. Pellegrino is there to defend that which goes bump or more like “boink” in the night. For 156 years jurors had more than enough common sense as to believe that someone could commit a major crime while sleepwalking. In 2002, with the magic word “somnambulism” (the medical term for sleep walking), Raipher defended a multiple raper – someone was able to stay asleep while sexually assaulting multiple women in the Coolidge Dorm at the University of Massachusetts in 2001. The sleepwalking rapist was 19 – I would believe it a bit more if instead the perp was 91. I’ve aced a few classes I’ve slept through, but I wake up for sex because sex is definitely more interesting than Algebra, Geometry English, etc…
Seems crazy? OK I have done a few crazy things half asleep. But when someone says “no” and fights back, how does one sleep through that? I have a hard enough time getting into my own house awake, never mind going into someone else’s “asleep”. I did have a friend who woke up in the cellar of a strange building, but he had been drinking.
So, if somnambulism means sleep walking, what’s the term for sleep entering, sleep boinking and sleep sexual assaulting?
As of Oct 28th 2008 Attorney Pellegrino has now made it legal to enter a neighbor’s house and grope 19-year-old women as long as one can say they were asleep the entire time in the state of Illinois. This POS was a college athletic director, someone who is going to tell others how to manage their bodies and yet have no control over his!
So now Attorney Pellegrino is the first defense lawyer to successfully use this defense twice. I am more than sure his rates have increased. I also wonder what defendant number three is going to be able to claim they snoozed through.
This Story Was Written And Submitted By The Nibbler
Does Raipher D. Pelligrino, Attorney at Law, Deserve Hell?
- Yes (51%, 116 Votes)
- All Lawyers belong in Hell (29%, 65 Votes)
- No (20%, 47 Votes)
Total Voters: 228
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51 Comments »
“so that Satan can rest a little more easily.”
You can bet Satan sticks his three-pronged pitched fork up their ass.
LOL and then satan will let Turtle pee on them.
Are you fuckin kidding me?! Wow, just wow, I did not think I could hate defense attorneys more but it is official, I do! I loathe those slimey bastards. Fuckin bullshit! Sexually assault a woman, claim you’re sleep, dangerous road to to go down, I hate to see what comes of this.
Fred is gonna have a field day with this defense laywer post! ha
I submitted the base story and the editor did a great job with it; I was reduced to 1 syllable 4 letter words.
I saw an article in the Springfield Union News, (Massachusetts) – it praised him like he done something worthy of praise…..
This POS may actually use this for free advertising!
I hope that there is a term for “sleep revenge”… maybe some of the victims can then get justice on their “sleepy” perps and the Sleepy Rapers’ defense atty!
How does he sleep at night? Maybe he’s too fucking stupid to realize what he’s doing to society, but someday something may go bump in he night at his house….. and he’ll stay awake waiting for the “boink”!
Given the number of times that I have gone to the bathroom at night, if I could shit on his office step while I was still asleep… Is there a term for “sleep shitting?”
No shit man. I didn’t realize you were The Nibble, Fred, although it wouldn’t have been a big leap to suspect it at least. We, at least I was nice to you and got your story posted quickly. I’m glad you liked the changes I made, even though they were pretty minor. Raipher must have met the guy who made up the Twinkie defense
Oh this is bad… Does any one know if these were jury trials? Please tell me they didn’t find a jury that would believe this! Twice! It asounds like the most stupid defense in the world, but it worked. Wow. Who sleeps through that much screaming? I will never understand how defense attourneys sleep at night. Constitutional rights, blah, blah… screw that. What liars these people are.
Maybe then that rapist fuck should not be able to sleep ever again. Oh my god, that group of jurors must have been the stupidest sub-mental bunch that could have possibly have been selected. Probably picked personally by the defense because of that reason. Un-fucking-believable. Look at that asshole, he can’t even smile because deep down he must hate himself that much. Piece of shit.
I’d be okay with hiring this guy. If I’m going to hire a lawyer, I want the greasiest, most unethical, slimiest motherfucker money can buy.
This guy can do it with a smile on his face – is he in the Yellow Pages?
Agreed man if any of my rape victims catch up with me i’m hiring this fucking guy
This guy is so slimy, that People You’ll See In Hell is a great place to advertise!
He’s in the Springfield MA phone book – just look under “Scum” and keep digging!
Only in America can you sexually assault someone, then hire a guy who looks like a coke addict who helps you beat the case with a sleepwalking defense. Or in this case sleepfucking.
i want to press “yes” SO much, but i can’t! he’s an asshole and i wouldn’t waste a tear would he die, but he’s working in the system you all chose to have. it’s not much different here though.
i’d love to vote yes, but a voice inside of me is saying that’s just not right.
I can’t send a man to hell for doing his job…even if it’s despicable and makes the world worse. I voted no, because there are really good and just lawyers out there…this guy may not be one of them, but he not only found a legal loophole, but created a couple as well! He didn’t create law…he just used it to his own advantage. If you are gonna send all lawyers to hell, send teh lawmakers as well.
Agreed. The man is quite simply doing what he needs to do to win the case. Now the jurors who let the men he was defending go free TWICE?! Yeah, what in the blue hell were they thinking?
While I agree with you and Kenny in principle, Tito, I think there are only a tiny majority of attorneys would actually use a defense that they know is scientific junk. Pelligrino isn’t any different than the lawyer who used the “Twinkie Defense” in The Harvey Milk Trial. These guys are the lowest, willing to do anything to win.
Seconded, Max. I understand the need for defense atttourneys. I refuse to believe that you have to throw all morals out the window to perform that job. I am still more appalled by the juries than the lawyer, though.
Okay, I’ve heard that certain sleep medications such as Ambian can cause people to do all sorts of strange things in their sleep–from driving their cars to having sex with their spouses (while asleep). And I also know someone (a friend’s boyfriend) who sometimes sleepwalks–he’ll get up and walk around the house and use the toilet and sometimes scare the hell out of people– so I know that sleepwalking can be a problem even apart from medication side-effects. If this dude wants to claim that he raped women while he was sleep-walking, then fine…the solution is simple…CASTRATE him. Then, when he sleepwalks, he’ll be unable to rape anyone ever again. I’m serious–this man should either have gotten jail time, or agreed to be castrated. I’ve heard of other cases where repeat sex offenders were given the option of castration or lengthy jail times–why not this jerk?
at one point i wanted to become a defense attorney… problem was, I knew myself to well, i didn’t want to ever become like this guy, defending creeps who deserve to be dead… now i want to be a politician.. i know i know, but i want to reform the criminal justice system, the only way to do that, is get into politics.. believe me, when im a law maker, now sex offender will see the light of day again,… vote for ME!
make satan cower in fear? hmm, i dont really know about that.
Defense attorneys are performing a necessary duty, required to maintain our legal system, like it or not. They are not the problem. Instead, look to jurors who perform THEIR duties with an attitude of boredom, or irritation at being a juror, or are planning their next date, rather than paying attention & genuinely deliberating. How many times have you been in a jury room, listening to other jurors bitch about how jury duty is a pain in the ass . . . after all, if the defendant is on trial at all, he/she MUST be guilty, right? It’s so much easier to just vote and get the hell outta the jury room, get to that waiting cocktail, get done with the “burden” of jury duty. Then, of course, you’ve got judges who are jaded, sick of seeing the ugliness, on the take, on and on and on. Defense attorneys are performing an unpleasant, but very important, job, and help keep our legal system a notch or two above that of Iran.
If they hire this guy, then they must be guily of something
Does anyone have a link to an article about this case? I had trouble finding one.
I just Googled “Raphier Pelligrino sleep defense” and got a bunch of stuff. He like, won awards for this defense. He was in the top ten best lawyers or something like that.
If my wife complained that I raped her the other night, then this defense may be somewhat valid, but he totally stretched it.
Seems to me that the award was for “taking the most miles, given an inch”
I once knew a defense attorney..he was a lovely guy…enjoyed his coke and alcohol to the point that he was driving in a flash sports car with his best friend. Because he had a bit of the white powder and some drinks in him, he hit another car going in the opposite direction. Both cars plunged off a bridge. He died along with his best friend and the couple in the other car. And he did not care that he had a wife and 2 children. His coke was far more important.
Lawyers are nothing but self-absorbed assholes. What kind of gay name is Raipher? He sure gotta a perty mouth…
This doesn’t sound that bad actually. I could go on a spree and off all the POS on here that deserve hell and then hire this guy and we could claim I was sleep killing. I’ve just come up with the perfect murder. Yay me.
I’m sorry, but if it weren’t for defense lawers, we would have NO legitimate legal system. You people seem to want trial by mob, and that is just not right.
Have you ever heard of the innocence project? If not why don’t you people research it. Sometimes, people who are innocent get sent to jail; ruined; etc. I think if you were falsely accused you would feel different. DO NOT JUDGE AN ENTIRE COMMUNITY FOR THE ACTIONS OF ONE PERSON.
Holy shit! You are naive Dave. Law is a GAME to the lawyers. They don’t give a flying fuck if the guy they are defending was caught with the bloody knife in his hand after stabbing his own Gramma – they want to “get him off”. That’s it.
The prosecutors are no better – they need to get the cases solved so they can get re-elected. If they can “pin” the crime on someone, they will.
And then we have the nutjob liberals screaming that it’s cruel and unusual to punish people, and the nutjob conservatives screaming that the death penalty is against God’s will.
Add to that criminals who know how to ‘work” the system better than the damned system knows how to work itself, and you can see why the system is beyond broken.
Yes – I know the innocence project. And I support several people who have been railroaded. But that does NOT mean that this creep of a slug lawyer is doing the right thing by getting his guilty as hell client off by claiming he was sleep-raping. If his client wasn’t there – didn’t rape the victim, is innocent – great – let him prove it. But to say – yeah he did it, but it’s not his fault *wink wink*, is disgusting. He deserves to be tossed in a vat of pig slop.
And you need to think about how things don’t always correlate. Just because some people get railroaded is no reason to excuse the behavior of a scumball defense lawyer. Just ask yourself – what if this guy raped your own mother or sister or wife, and then tell me how cool you are with the defense tactic.
Amen Mazzi.
The lawyers give a damn if they’re defending a Boy Scout or a pedophile Scout Master. If they can find a way to get their clients off the hook, they do. Innocence be damned, they will do it to make publicity for themselves. If they can find loopholes, it means more and more people wil go to them to get themselves free of their crimes.
Here Here Mazzi! I have no doubt that defense attorneys will get someone that they themselves know is guilty out of being sent to prison for the right amount of money or even exposure for their business. These defense attorneys do it every day. I also know that prosecuting attorneys will “get a hard on” for a certain individual and that person is done…..they will go to prison…..end of story just because the prosecutor is convinced they did it. I’ve even seen cases where prosecutors were shown forensic evidence that proved someone’s innocence, but the prosecutor couldn’t be convinced otherwise. It’s no secret that defense attorneys will get guilty parties cleared and prosecutors will railroad innocent people. I used to work as a legal assistant to a very large legal firm that was actually pretty good people for lawyers, but I used to see some real scumbag lawyers when we had to work with other firms. I left after I was able to start working from home as a seamstress so I could stay at home with my daughter and also because I was quite tired of seeing the bullshit spins that some lawyers would put on their cases. It really sucks to know that their are innocent people sitting in prison right now as I type this because of situations like this, but it’s also equally shitty that there are guilty assholes walking the streets that should be in prison and never see the light of day again.
Maybe Raipher D. Pelligrino is available to defend Anders and Arender for what they did to Hannah Mack. I am sure there is some medical reason, right? Fucker.
With last names sounding so close, I wonder how close their families are.
The old “products of an incestuous home” defense.
I’ve been here all night and this is my first WTF moment! The ‘defense attorneys’ made sure of it.
You should make a night of it. There are plenty more to go around.
That’s a fact Brother Tito, that’s a fact.
“Brother Tito” makes me feel like I’m some whacked out televangelist.
Tito, it has its benefits, maybe people will send dollars. LOL.
“Send your donation immediately to PYSIH c/o ‘Brother Tito
…because the Lord knows you got an extra 10 spot laying around”
This story is just stupid and reaks of passed along uneducated ignorance about defense attorney’s. What should we do!? Should we just go around lynching people? A defense attorney has an ethical obligation to defend his client. You might hate this, but be glad that we have it. Otherwise, our legal system would be a giant lynch mob.
You are mad because you don’t like the verdict in this case. Well, guess what Einstein? Blame the JURY. You know, the people that decide guilt and innocence. Blame the prosecutors for failing to carry their burden. But don’t blame someone for doing their job.
This story should be removed from this website. Typical ignorant bullshit from someone who doesn’t understand the concepts of liberty and due process.
Guess what Objective? We are not a bunch of hillbilly goobers. Many of us actually know quite a bit about the law. Some of us even went to law school till we decided that assholes like this guy fuck up the system and we want no part of it.(<—- me) It is not a lack of understanding of jurisprudence. It is a disgust that our society has allowed the system to become a freaking GAME.
Justice – a word which many defense attorneys just spout off, without thinking about it, actually means something. It does not mean “getting the guy off by any means necessary”, it means seeing that he gets a fair trial, and a befitting punishment. It SHOULD mean that a guilty man pays for his crimes to a degree befitting the crime.
People like you make me sick. And you are not as sophisticated as you think you are. If our legal system operated in a just manner, in the manner that it was intended to, and not this constant pushing of the line by hotshot lawyers who care mostly about their scorecard and their billable hours, we would NOT have lynch mobs. We would have guilty people being punished fairly.
And one last thing. Not that I think you are actually capable of this empathetical exercise, but just try to think about this for a second. If the woman who was attacked by this man was your sister, or your mother, or your wife – would you be as willing to just forget it, because the guy was sleepwalking? Would you applaud the defense attorney who got the guy off? If you say yes, then you are either lying, or a coldhearted bastard. Have a nice day.
He misspells words and uses the exact same language as James….
Coincidence?
Admin says!!
Unfortunately it’s all just coincidental Jason and we have a new jackass who doesn’t have a clue. The only positive is I’ll get some entertainment watching you and the ladies give him his education.
Oh, and Objective Guy? I have no intention of removing this article from this website. It has nothing to do with whether I agree with it or not, but with the fact that the writer has a right to speak his mind, and that the article has sparked a healthy debate. Freedom of Speech, now there’s a concept of Liberty that it seems YOU don’t understand.
Damn…. Did I compliment James or slight Objective Guy….
I don’t know about this one. I graduated from law school and had an opportunity to spend some time on both sides of the fence. Honestly, my final reaction was that the system is just in terrible shape. Period. It’s not defense attorneys any more than it is judges or DAs.
The courts are crowded and my general impression was that your crime doesn’t matter to anyone – DAs included – unless it’s a really big deal. There are no Law and Order show downs between prosecutors and defense attorneys. Sure, some have personal problems with each other and overall they stayed away from each other, but not always. There was definitely a lot of laughing across the aisle while waiting for a judge. They’d talk about family or vacations, argue for a bit over a case and walk out of the courtroom chatting again.
The point is that, in my humble opinion, the entire system is in shambles. most people just take the plea and there’s no real individualized assessment, no real look at how dangerous a particular person may be if they get the oh-too-often probation offer. Sentences have become so seemingly random that it’s maddening. While sitting in open court one day just observing, I actually saw a man get actual jail time for possession of marijuana (and he had 1 prior…for pot also) followed by a man who got probation for getting up on a stage and beating another man’s head in with a microphone stand. literally…beat the man about the head with the bottom end of a mic stand.
Sure, some defense attorneys are worse than others. but some judges are terrible and some DAs are jaded and disinterested. It’s all just so, so messed up.
Can he take his family with him?
cheeseball
I know this is completely off topic (bad habit, sorry) but this guy looks kinda like Uncle Joey from full house :)
LOL that is so true!! And his character always gave me bad vibes!!!Hanging around a house of little girls all the time???
Dave Coulier, the guy that Alanis Morisette allegedly wrote the “You Oughta know” song about.