Cara L. Culbert
Well, God was at it again folks. We’re all aware The Almighty’s famous sense of humor, and this past Saturday night, November 28th, 2009, right here in my home turf of the Connecticut River Valley, He’d showed us all that He’s still got it.
In East Hampton, Connecticut, a medium sized burg east of my hometown of Middletown, Cara L. Culbert drove her car off the side of the road. No big deal, you say, except according to the Middletown Press:
police had received a report of black Chevrolet Monte Carlo operating erratically on Route 66 at about 1:00 p.m. Saturday.
Police came upon the car off the right side of the road, the chief said. When the officer spoke to the driver, he said her speech was slurred and she appeared to be under the influence of some substance.
The officer administered a field sobriety test, which Culbert flunked, East Hampton Police Chief Matthew A. Reimondo said. She was then arrested and charged with driving while under the influence of alcohol and/or drugs.
A check of her vehicle uncovered a syringe and a small amount of marijuana.
This is not an unusual occurrence in the town of East Hampton, folks being arrested for DUI, as I can attest to myself. Being a recovering drug addict, I’ve attended many, many Alcoholic Anonymous meetings there and can say with a certain amount of confidence that there are more drunks and junkies per square mile in East Hampton than perhaps any other town in Connecticut.
But I digress.
Cara L. Culbert was also charged with possession of marijuana, possession of drug paraphernalia and failure to drive in the right lane. Around 3:00 pm she was released to a friend on $5,000 bond for a pending court date. Her black Monte Carlo was impounded by police.
Her friend drove her home, where Cara wasted no time borrowing another car, a Chevrolet Cavalier, from a family member.
God must have been paying attention at this moment, and he wasn’t having any of that. He decided to play a little joke on Cara Culbert.
Just 20 minutes after she was released by East Hampton police, Culbert’s car crossed the center line and collided with an SUV just over the East Hampton town line in Portland. She died at the scene.
I don’t know about you, but when my wife read this part of the Middletown Press article to me, I could have sworn I heard Nelson Muntz laugh, “Ha! Ha!”
Unfortunately, the driver of the SUV, Kevin McKenna, was injured and had to be taken to Hartford Hospital. I couldn’t find any report on Mr. McKenna’s current condition, but I assume he will recover.
OK, now I have to be serious for a moment. I realize I was pretty disrespectful of someone who is dead and has family members who love her. As a matter of fact, I found her Obituary, which states that she is survived by a son. That’s sad. (See Obituary)
But what’s really sad is a grown woman, a mother, who is so wasted at one o’clock in the afternoon that she can’t keep her car on the road. What’s sad is that Cara L. Culbert got out of jail and chose to jump right back in a car and take off again, not much more sober than she was when she was arrested. What’s sad is that her friends and family members let her drive again two hours after receiving a DUI.
What’s sad is an young boy who will never see his mother again, never talk to her, never hug her, never be told that he’s loved by her. Yeah, that’s sad.
So I don’t apologize for choosing to use a little humor to bring attention to this stupid person’s even stupider actions. Never let it be said I wasted a chance to make people laugh. Who knows, maybe I was able to send a little message at the same time.
Does Cara L. Culbert Deserve Hell?
- No, just an eon in purgatory to think about what she did (63%, 326 Votes)
- Yes, stupidity like this is a mortal sin (37%, 192 Votes)
Total Voters: 518
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165 Comments »
I think this response has been cruel and unnecessary. I suppose we could all say haha to you if you died for once being a drug addict and detrimental to society?
If I did what this woman did, I’d deserve it too. Since I’ll be clean and sober 7 years this month, the chances of that happening are kind of slim. Suppose Ms. Culbert had killed the other driver too, how would you feel about her then? Suppose he died and she lived? What Culbert did was unforgivable and, and she deserves whatever derision we pile on her.
Happy Birthday and many more, Max.
Thanks my brother. Every time I reach another anniversary, no one is more surprised than I am. hmmm – Maybe shocked is a better word.
When one wonders,
What brought you to this point in your life, Remember, There is no point, For you are here now Today, this minute, this second, Because you made it so…..
Nobody has seven years sober, no matter how long it’s been since the last drink. You have this exact minute sober. The previous minute is gone, and certainly the previous year. Please don’t forget. That bottle is actively hunting your ass down as we speak. Don’t let your guard down.
Just IMO, if I had to live by ‘every second, every minute rule of thumb’ I think I would go nuts, some people are just wired differently guess, whether that be the ‘drug’ of choice I don’t know.
I would be to argue your comment. I’m 39 years, 2 months and 15 days sober. Of course, you could add in the 9 months I was in the womb if you wanted, but can’t guarantee mom didn’t have a drink during that time, so I’ll go with the 39 years, 2 months and 15 days myself. Never have touched drugs or alchohol (beyon caffeeine and legally prescribed to me drugs) and never will.
Does that mean the bottle is hunting me down? Does that mean I’m only 1 minute sober? I can’t speak for those who are or have been addicted, as I’ve never had that issue. But I can say, he is going to be 7 years sober.
Yes, happy birthday Max. Seven years is pretty damn respectable.
And I like the part about Nelson from the Simpsons. I think that his “ha ha” should be put into the dictionary because sometimes, there is nothing else which is more appropriate for the complete stupidity, irony, and tom foolery in which people bumble about while making their way through life. Or in this case, death.
This lady was a jackass. She should have just been thankful to have gotten out of jail that night, she should have went home, ate some non-jail food, and slept in off in her non-jail bed.
But she didnt and now, well, “Ha-Ha”. Her stupidity. I dont feel bad for her at all. I do feel bad for the person she hit. Hope they make a speedy recovery.
Thanks poptart, and I’m glad to see you around tonight. God knows this place isn’t right without you around every day. But ee lost several regulrs to self improvement these last couple of months, and no one can argue with that. How is school, anyways?
cool shit max,ive been off the big shit,cocaine,weed,acidetc,goin on 3 yrs.and beer just over a month.
Yeah Amber, I can laugh at Cara and say good riddance, too. She had plenty of options and chances while she was alive and she didn’t take any of the good ones. She chose to get herself killed, and it would’ve happened one way or another. I don’t care if she was addicted or not. I was addicted for many, many years until finally I made the right choice. Years later, I still continue to make the right choice every day. Everyday I make the choice to overcome my addiction and stay sober.
I’m not saying I’m a better person than Cara because I’m not using anymore – I’m saying addiction or not, she made the decision to die.
Too bad she was such a selfish, weak bitch she had to leave her son without a mother and hurt Kevin McKenna in the process. I hope he’s okay, and I hope her son will be okay.
As for her? Eh, so what? She can’t hurt anyone else, now can she?
if Admin had died during a DUI, then he would’ve been featured here and we likely would’ve had another admin laugh at him.
i think our admin wouldn’t have it any other way actually.
There it is in a nutshell. Nicely put DD.
Oh it figures my first post ever would be to WHOLEHEARTEDLY disagree with someone. And here I try not to be so oppositional in life. Oh well. Here I go.
*ahem* Oh look a soapbox.
I really REALLY want to be rude but I want to give you the benefit of the doubt because maybe you actually don’t understand the meaning of both “cruel” and “unnecessary”. You seem to know as much about their definitions as I know about quantum physics. Here’s a hint. Don’t know much about physics.
I say this because out of everything you read here, you pinned Max’s reaction as cruel and unnecessary as opposed to Miss Drug’n'drive’s actions. My apologies for not using her name. I’m simply too unmotivated to go back and look it up because she doesn’t deserve the effort.
In all actuality, what’s cruel is leaving a child who needs you behind. Though I’ll be the first to say her actions tell me that child is better off without her. What’s cruel here is bringing that child into the world to begin with, only to neglect and abandon it. What’s unnecessary is being so much of an addict you’re out driving around swerving in traffic instead of being at home telling your child a story or playing with him/her or hell, making them lunch at one o fucking clock in the afternoon. What’s unnecessary is the friend who probably posted the 5k for her to get her junkie ass out of jail. What’s cruel is squandering that friends gesture by going out and taking advantage of another friend’s generosity and committing suicide via borrowed car. What’s unnecessary here is everybody who helped her, knowing they were probably just facilitating her bad behavior. What’s cruel is not letting her ass sit in jail until she figured out how to get her shit together.
Max’s article…just a reaction. Hate the reaction and ignore the proaction, fine…I’d like to be that naive and peaceful myself but I’m just not stupid enough to get by that way.
PS. Keep up the good work Max. I couldn’t stay bitter and twisted without you.
I like you!!!
Totally Agree.
Well said.
HQ, do you live in So. Cal? You should come over for coffee and bitching sometime. That’d be a hoot! Welcome to PYSIH! I hope you stay for a while!
Thanks! I actually used to live in Los Angeles but moved to Chicago last year. I swear you guys I’m so much nicer when I’m not freezing my ‘used to 70 degrees year round’ ass off.
I don’t think it was cruel and unnecessary. As a matter of fact, they should make more of a spectacle of drunk drivers who hurt other people. That fact that she is dead, yeah, sad for her son. I think that ultimately we should be celebrating here. Celebrating that the drunk one died and the innocent bystander is alive and hopefully going to be well! I live in New Mexico (New Mexico, which led the nation in alcohol-related crash rates for years) It is time more drunk drivers died instead of the innocent bystander!
Even my dog has more self control than Cara Culbert – when I yell at my dog, she won’t do the same stupid offending thing for a few hours. Cara could have sobered up before she went off driving again.
She’s the cruelest one here – she chose and succeeded at endangering other people.
I will also agree with and state that it sounds like she was not much of a mother and i hope her young child’s life improves with the death of his mother.
While I can not say if she’s in heaven, hell or purgatory, I will say that I am glad that she’s not here with me anymore. I live in CT and she’s just one less thing I’ll have to watch out for.
I am also glad that she’s dead because it’s just that much less of a deficit we’ll have here – I am sure that she’d have gone to court, demanded the services of a public defender, programs would have been at “state” (read as taxpayers’) expense.
My daughter’s school district needs the money, I’d rather have my tax dollars there then spent on someone who is not going to apprciate anything that the state will try to do for them.
I know of another person who is almost as stupid as Cara here and yes I will smile should God decide to remove here from the Lower Naugatck Valley.
Or, we could say ha ha to you for being a fucktard.
Get over it, the site is called “People You’ll See In Hell”.
Go on now, “Maplestory” is waiting for you. It’s all warm and fuzzy there.
Happy birthday, Max. It’s cool to be you. Amber, pull your head out of your ass. One less drunk on the road is nothing but good.
Cara Culbert got what she deserved, hopefully the SUV driver will heal completely. I am so tired of seeing addicts continue to get away with harming themselves and their children with their behaviors, her son is better off. Good luck to the owner of the cavalier….yeah, I let my drunk/high ass relative fresh out of jail take my car….no wonder car insurance is so expensive. Amber take a grow the f*ck up pill, is Cara your sister or did you have a dumb ass boyfriend that overdosed so you take this personally? Congrats Max for still having a sense of humor and being sober/clean.
hey man, oding is on a whole different level than driving drunk. if you stupidly decide to take more of something than is sane (or just fuck up the dosage because you’re wasted), you are not putting others in danger.
i know it’s awful for the people you’ve left behind. that, and it’s really stupid. like suicide. but it’s something you’re doing to yourself. it’s not equatable to putting yourself in a position where you’re likely to injure people you’ve never met.
i’m thinking of starting a support group: admitted alcoholics who don’t drive. we’ll be like madd, except drunk.
LOL! I don’t think any normal person could disagree with a bunch of admitted alcoholics forming a support group for the promotion of sober driving. It just might get some attention!
I agree with you, mels. If you’re going to fuck up your body, that’s fine so long as you don’t hurt anyone else. Admittedly, it depends on how fine a sieve you want to use with that ‘don’t hurt anyone else’ thing – think about where your drugs come from, and how they get into the country. Alcohol is really the only innocent drug in that category, although marijuana is starting to be produced in greater quantities domestically – soon there will be no reason to smuggle it in. It would also fall under the ‘IDGAF what you do to yourself.” clause. Everything else is questionable.
I will keep my sympathy for the driver of the SUV who was hit. Cara Culbert drove not once but twice drunk endangering everyone around her. Why should we not be able to express an opinion that reveals the incredible frustration at the needless carnage caused by people who drive drunk? She could have wiped out a whole family-yeah seen that story on these pages several times haven’t we-and I am glad that no one else was killed. I have no sympathy-she was an addict? get over it, being an addict doesn’t excuse selfishly risking the lives of everyone else on the road.
I am heartbroken for her son and all of her family members that read this, because there is bound to be at least one. Was what she did really dumb? Absolutely. Did it mean she deserved to die? No. Does she deserve hell? Definitely not. I don’t think she fits in with the rest of the culps on this site. Her stupidity cost her her life, and injured another person. And while that is horrible, I don’t quite think that puts her in the same catagory as some of these murderer/rapist/pedophiles that we see here.
I hope that her son’s life improves with the death of such a “mother”.
She’s not a “victim” but rather a perp.
While she did not intend to hit / injure other people or kill herself, she has the same selfishness that some of these really bad people do.
I am sure that most murderers are thinking more about themselves than their victims and other people. Pedophiles will argue that they have an addiction as well……
Also some of these really bad people just don’t care about other people – like Heaven a few posts ago….. she was selfish – it’s just that her victims were more vulnerable and her selfishness took a longer time to bring harm to others while Cara was able to change someone’s life in an instant.
One less person I have to play Dodge Cars with in Route 9 or I-91.
Ok, I see your point Fred, and you’re right. What she did was pretty thoughtless and selfish. I just feel really really bad for her son, because all of these things are not anything that he will understand anytime in the near future, you know what I mean? I hope and pray for his well-being.
I like the fact that you feel for the victims and the way you see the son as a victim as well. I hope whoever raises him gives him a good life and he treats his new parents as Mom & Dad and he can deal with the fact that Bio–Mom is just that – and that his life can still be complete without Bio-Mom around.
I really hope so too. And I know you feel much for the victims as well. And judging from your posts, and as is the case with most of us, that is where your frustration always comes in is what has come of the victim(s). I guess as a mother, I could not imagine doing that to my kids, and it’s hard to imagine anyone else doing it either. Granted, I do not understand the dynamics of addiction. But, my kids come first and fore-most with me, always. And with every situation I go into, THEIR outcome is the first thing that pops into my mind. Sure, I do drink every once in a blue moon. But, not in the presence of my kids, and will you ever find my ass behind the seat of a car afterwards? Hell no. And I really don’t know what kind of mother she was, but if what they found in the car on top of the accidents themselves is any indication, then maybe for his own safety, it is for the best. God forbid HE was in the car with her…?
Nicole, I doubt somebody that selfish was much of a mother. He may not even realize she’s gone.
Very true, E.
This is a tragedy and there is nothing funny about it. How disappointing. And God I know doesn’t “play little jokes” on people like this. While he allows us the free will to make ill fated decisions, he hurts when we choose to do so. My 19 year old sister and her 3 year old daughter were in a car crash because of a drunk driver. My sister died 2 hours later and my neice survived. At 18 years old I adopted and raised my neice. We have never seen any humor in any of this. She is now 22 and I am 37 and we still hurt. And yes, he was a repeat offender and had just got out of jail the day before. Never did I consider the drunk drivers fate funny. Sick attempt at humor. And the karma you create for yourself when you find humor in a tragedy, even due to irresponsibility, can not be good.
Ah, but you’re missing my point. Of course I feel bad for Cara Culbert’s victims. I said so plainly in my story. But I have no sympathy at all for people like Cara who have so little respect for their loves ones, themselves, and the general public that they would jump in another car less than 20 minutes after bring released from jail for a DUI accident. I’m sorry about what happened to your sister and her daughter, and I grieve for them too, but my concern today is trying to do something to stop the next victims just like them from happening.
Cara Culbert cared nothing for the feelings of anyone else, nor did she think about the consequences of her actions. What she did was irresponsible to the extreme, and I chose to make fun of her for it – she earned it.
First of all Timmy I want to start out by saying I’m sorry for what you experienced with losing your sister. Losing somebody is never easy, and I know from experience that it’s so much harder when you lose someone due to SOMEONE ELSES actions. It’s downright devastating and infuriating. I think what you did for your neice is amazing and I bet she is one of the luckiest girls in the world to have an uncle who cared for her so much that he took on the role of her parent at such a young age. I’ve known many a 18 year old in my life, hell I was one. I know that’s an amazing feat for someone so young.
However, I have to disagree yet again. Two posts in and I’m not making any friends here am I? I’ll tell you why I disagree with you. Because sometimes, it gets so bad that if you don’t laugh you’ll cry. I mean cry. Uncontrollable, gut wrenching sobs kind of cry. Sometimes you see/hear/feel/read so much wrong in this existence that you have to laugh just to make sure you still can because somewhere in there you know that if you can’t laugh anymore, your life is over. You’re broken, you’re done with. I know what you’ve experienced is truly awful and I’m sure that when it gets really bad you really appreciate lifes small pleasures. In Max’s case, he’s not hurting anybody by laughing at this woman. It’s not like he put the needle in her arm, it’s not like he gave her the car to do harm with. He’s simply reading one more terrible story like I’m sure he does countless times on a daily basis, and trying to keep himself from being consumed by the grief you feel when you see the horrible things you would have to do, to maintain this site. Keep in mind Timmy that we only see some of it. He goes through all of it and decides what to put up. I know that if I let a few weeks go by and go through all of the new stuff in a day I’m downright depressed. I can’t imagine the dread he feels sometimes when he checks the news or his own damn e-mail to see what links or info somebody has sent him. It either depresses the shit out of you, or numbs you completely so you just don’t feel anything at all anymore.
Max isn’t hurting anybody by laughing at her, and neither are the rest of us who choose to. In my opinion, she Darwined her way right out of this life and I couldn’t care less about what happens to her.
If God wants to punish us for doing what we can to get by in a world full of people he created doing deplorable things, then I’m not sorry I haven’t been to church in about 10 years. No love lost here.
you dont think if her SON read this that he would be devistated?!? I have a feeling that you are a shut in, that does nothing but sit on the net all day ranting. Web-sites like this make you feel important in your non-signifacant life. Makes you feel “alive” you prolly get off on conflict. I’ll pray for you and your unfortunate soul.
Oh my please don’t do me any favors while you’re up on that pedestal. No need to pray for my soul, I think that would work against me. I’d find it devAstating.
Ironically I was at work when I posted that but nice try on your internet psychoanalysis. I have a feeling that you’re a self important douchebag, that does nothing but sit around all day but armchair psychoanalyzing people. Telling people like me off makes you feel important in your INsignificant life. Makes you feel “alive”. You ProBABly get off on the delusions that you’re half intelligent. I wont pray for you, I couldn’t care less about your soul.
Harley and Max- understood (and respected) those are your opinions. I don’t even think they are wrong. Like you guys, I was just sharing mine, which is different. Thanks for clarifying and responding so respectfully. I realize I am a bit biased on drunk drivers. The whole subject still creates a knot in my stomach. For me, it’s just hard to see humor in it. But you are not me, I get that. I learned the only way I, or my neice, would heal was to have forgiveness. It has been hard to do, but the moment I did I was free of the torment wondering what those last moments must have been like for my sister. I was able to raise a great kid without the bitterness and apathy so many other victims of drunk drivers carry for years. Thanks again for sharing, even if I see it differently.
Oh, I love you I think :)
I love your comebacks and I especially love how you subtly correct peoples’ spelling errors……devAstating; INsignificant……brilliant. Please keep posting here.
Just thought I’d show you some support since you seemed worried about “making enemies”. :)
Not a problem Timmy – We encourage people to post alternate opinions, and I appreciate someone who can present it without being confrontational, like you did. I hope you continue to express yourself here at PYSIH, because contrary to what some people think, I don’t want this website to degenerate into a place where everyone strokes my ego, or we all become attack dogs for a particular point of view.
Timmy, thank you for disagreeing in a manner that was both dignified and non offensive. Hard to do. I’m so sorry about what happened to your sister. Nineteen . . . wow. But despite that you’ve kept some balance. I hope to read more of your posts at this site.
Let me tell the the folks who disagree something, i have a 40 year old brother that is 6 time DWI offender, do I want him dead of course not! Saying that I will tell you sometimes I wish he was dead!! He has single handedly shredded my family to pieces! My parents have aged before their time are still having to work to pay attorney’s fee’s (they are both in their 70′s). I moved my son and myself 200 miles away because I could not stand the disfuntion . It is by God’s grace he has NOT killed anyone yet! Only my parents,slowly…would I grieve if he died of course I would. I feel terrible for this woman’s family. I do not however feel any shred of remorse for the loss of that drunken idiot. If my brother gets behind a wheel again (and he is supposed to be able to in December) he WILL kill someone, I feel it! The people who share the road with him are running out of time! Hell ?maybe not, purgatory, yes because my family has been living in purgatory since my brother decided to climb in to the vodka bottle!! I would rather see him dead than continue this family disfuntion at least there would be some closure!! So please don’t jump on Max, I really understand where he is coming from!!
I have spelling errors and I am too tired to care
oh and what about the dumb ass family member that lent her the second car? Purgatory for them as well!! Bunch of dumb ass’ !!!
Like Ive said before, you dont know what happened. No one handed her car keys. The 1st car she drover was someone elses. When she went out the second it was her car. So that was deffinatly un-called for.
Well why the hell didn’t someone take HER keys? My brother tried to pull this stunt all the time that is why we would hide his keys…jeez leaving car keys in the room of a drunk is like leaving a loaded gun with someone who is depressed !! Call me what you wish,nothing and I mean nothing you write will change my mind about this!!
Oooohhhh – a drunk bitch with a Chevy Cavelier…….very classy.
In my county, they don’t let you out until you’re sober, even if you have bail. You just sit in the pokey for six or seven hours. After that, someone can pay the bail.
Yeah, that’s how it is in LA county as well (where I am from). They keep them in a holding tank for 8-12 hours. I am surprised they let her go so soon. Not the sharpest knives in the drawer I guess.
Max…congrats on your sobriety! You have a unique perspective on this situation. It is sad all around, but I agree, her dying made me a little happier. She won’t hurt anyone else anymore. She did a selfish, stupid thing..and probably did it several times before she was caught this time and arrested. Before I went to college in a distant city, my dad told me: “If you get arrested, make friends there because I’m not bailing you out.” That made me thing twice before I did any of the typical college activities that could get me in that situation.
If stupidity was a sin…Hell would be overflowing by now
Karma is a b*tch. You are surley going to hell for being so heartless and cruel. You dont know what Cara may have been going through at the time. So your better than everyone else cuz your sober know huh. Your disgusting and evil, you will surley end up in hell yourself. YOu must be an incredibly loney insucure little man. You obviously have NO life. Did you ever think about her son, he is 11 and has internet accsess. How do you think he will feel when he reads this. Caras action were wrong, but she is gone, she will not suffer from what you say, just her family, and those that love her. May God bless your family may he have mercy on your soul for being so cruel. What is this world comming to. Everyone thinks they are superior, one of the major sins might I ad. You judgmental F*ck. God is the one and only judge. You ignorant fool.
Another asshole makes his approach.
You want to know what true evil is? Evil is lack of responsibility that puts other lives in danger. I really don’t care what her problems were. I have personally lived through hell right here on earth, and had a few drunks myself when suffering. But never, NEVER did I get in a car to drive.
Responsibility. Definitely lacking in her case.
And pardon my language, I really am a lady, but fuck that “God is the only judge” bullshit. That’s your God, not mine. This is a website. We can say whatever we wish about whatever opinion we may carry. And judge I will, any time I like. You personally judged with your statements. A perfect case of hypocritical bullshit. What the hell does this mean: “You judgmental F*ck”, “You ignorant fool”? Judgmental. Such a hypocrite.
Blah,Blah,Blah…need some cheese with that whine? Please I have watched my alcoholic brother for 15 years squander away a 50k education,a songwriting career (Willie Nelson was interested), women cars, homes and friends!! An addict can ALWAYS find a pitiful story to keep using!! It is selfishness pure and simple!! It is also WAY HARDER to get treatment and stay sober!
Oh and you might want to pull out a dictionary…
Hey SAOYIH, I bet I’ll see you there first….just for your stupidity of your post.
Ok I’m going to try to be gentle with you because you’re obviously half retarded.
There’s something you develop in your adult life called personal responsibility. It’s where no matter how bad life gets you stop blaming other people for your problems and take care of your own damn self like you’re supposed to. I understand tragedies and I understand psychosis. Still doesn’t make it ok to take yourself down so far that you neglect and abandon a child, and take somebody else down with a car. Fuck that noise. I don’t give a shit and a half what she’s been through because that’s no excuse. My earliest childhood memories are of a sick abuse pattern inflicted upon me by somebody who took the shit way out and killed himself before being brought to justice. Not even a parent. My parents and foster families were all different varieties of abusive. The 2 people who loved me most in this world and took care of me when they could both died on me unexpectedly. The only person I could ever relate to in this world, my biological father, killed himself on my birthday. I’ve been homeless, haven’t had a steady job in nearly 2 years, and all I’ve ever tried to do was live a good life and shit seems to get in my way left and right. Have I ever hit the bottle? Oh fuck yes. But you know what I didn’t do afterwards? Drive a fucking car. Never taken a drug that wasn’t prescribed to me. I’ve never harmed anybody or neglected them. I’ve spent one night in jail for speeding in a one stop light town in Georgia. Nobody has ever had to bail my ass out of jail so I could go right out and make the same mistake not even a half an hour later.
So one more time with feeling, FUCK that noise. A hard life is no excsue for destroying others.
I just find it highly laughable that you think you have the right to judge someone you didn’t know. You are also making shit up out of your ass. Cara was not drunk, she may have smoked some weed, but who hasnt in their life. Please our past president used to party so dont give that drug addict bullshit. Just because she drank and smoked weed doesnt mean she was a drug addict. I dont care what Cara did in her PERSONAL life, she had a great heart. She did NOT abandon her son. You know NOTHING about the beautiful young woman Cara Culbert. People like you and the other heartless jerks on here are what make this world such a cold place. Cara brought a smile to peoples faces. I really don’t need to defend Cara to people who didn’t even know her, but I want her family so see something positive from someone that actually knew her. And no one really gives a shit about “aww my daddy killed himself on my bday crap. How did that feel? To read that, not good right, well imagine 10′s and 20′s of other people who you don’t know talking pure shit about how your father must have been a selfish bastard for killing himself. I would prolly hurt and anger you right. Yet you find the need to say such hurtful things about someone you never even knew. Seriously what is this world comming to. I thank God every day that I have the friends and family I do. I also thank God that the man Cara hit will recover, Im sure even he would be saddened by all the hurtful things you mean hearted people have to say. And to deedee if your brother was killed in a car wreck, even if he was under the influence, would you not grieve his loss. If the answer is no, then I guess you truly have no heart. But if you would grieve his loss, would you enjoy reading such horrible things about him. Seriuosly people, if you have nothing nice to say then don’t say anything at all. I pray to God that Cara’s son NEVER sees any of this. God bless Cara and her family. God bless Mr.McKenna as well. I wish him a quick recovery and that he has a lovely holiday with his family. Cara rest in Peace old friend, in the kingdom of heaven.
Well now this is where folks like you make your mistake. If you want to defend Cara Culbert’s reputation, it’s not a good idea to start off by lying. Cara was slurring her speech and unsteady on her feet, and had just driven her car off the road when police arrived on the scene of here FIRST accident of the day. She also failed several field sobriety tests. The police found a syringe and pot in her car. Those are facts. I couldn’t care less about GW’s personal business – I don’t like the guy, and he’s not the issue here.
I hate to have to remind another person, but no matter how nice or how sweet Cara was when she was sober, On Saturday afternoon she was arrested for DUI, bailed out two hours later, and less than twenty minutes later, was back on the road driving another car. A few minutes later she crossed into opposing traffic because she was too wasted to control that car and hit an innocent driver head on. Fortunately, she was the only person killed.
Do you think she was thinking of her son when she took off in that second car? Seriously? Do you think she considered his welfare for one second? Do you think she worried about the pain she would cause her family if anything happened to her? Yet you think my friend harley quinn here is the bad guy for saying things that needed to be said – that should have been said to Cara well before Saturday afternoon. Did YOU ever talk to her about her substance abuse problem? Did you even know about it?
Go think about what you said, and what I just asked you, and maybe you’ll understand why people are so angry at Cara’s actions. Because it’s pretty obvious to me that at this moment you haven’t got a clue.
Oh my hypocrisy rears it’s ugly head. Don’t want to listen to other people judging somebody you obviously know or have some weird internet hardon for? Don’t go around judging others. Secondly, don’t want to be judged? DON’T DO STUPID SHIT LIKE WRECK A CAR AND KILL YOURSELF 20 MINUTES AFTER SOMEONE BAILS YOUR ASS OUT OF JAIL FOR DRIVING UNDER THE INFLUENCE.
I don’t care what she was like when she was sober because no matter what she was obviously a selfish, careless, irresponsible person. She proved this by doing what she did to herself when she had a son to take care of. She proved this by having someone bail her out of jail only to borrow a car with which to hurt someone else. She did nothing but put herself, her son, and complete strangers in harms way. I don’t care if she just got back from Africa after breastfeeding starving babies, it doesn’t change who she was the day she ruined more lives than just hers.
By the way, I loved and still love my father very much, and when he did what he did it felt like shit. But you know what? He was a selfish asshole for doing it and I’ll be the first to say it. He’s a selfish jerk, he was an alcoholic, he was lazy, and careless. If 10 or 20 people said it, I’d agree. He was my dad, and I’ll love him til the day I day, but you wont see me stepping up to defend a lie.
I would grieve his loss, but I already think he is a dumbass and needs to go back to prison…that is why I am calling his P.O. tomorrow and bust him again,I did it the first time he went to prison and I will do it again!!! If he drives and drinks he deserves WHATEVER people write about him!! I love my brother enough to make a phone call to keep him off the streets!! WHY did one of you that “loved her so much” NOTdo the same?”
To you both, my {{hugs}} ….
Okay, fine – I’ll say some nice things about Cara because her son might read this some day.
I agree with Mr. to harley quinn. Cara did bring a smile to my face. In fact, she made me laugh my ass off. Because of the Cara, we now have one less drunken monkey on the on the roads and one less Chevy Cavelier stinking up the environment. Thanks, Cara. You’re the best!!!!!!
I trust you’ll share my kind words at her funeral.
You are not for real. You are a big fat fake. You’re totally laughing your ass off as you write that nonsense — come on, yes you are! I refuse to believe anyone can overlook reality to such an extent and still walk around breathing!
…..can’t we all just get along?…… ;P
ARE YOU FOR REAL??
How bout this for cruel and insensitive? I hope what she was going thru was the windshield face first, My only thing is I wish she was hitting a wall or something as everyone else has said, She wasnt real concerned about anything more than what she wanted. That’s pretty cruel and insensitve too me. I just discovered this site yesterday and It’s awesome, btw
Max the cat i will make you a deal
Print your real name and address & i will be more than happy to do the same
When you meet your maker i can only hope he shows you the compassion you show other..
PS your wife must be as big a winner as you, putting up with such a prize. congrats to you both, may you never feel the pain, well i mean may you never feel the pain on earth…..
you know you DICK, it is one thing to talk smack about any of us on the site, but it is another thing to go after anyone’s family!! His Wife is one lucky Lady considering the things I have read here! Max seems to be intelligent, funny and caring and he hates the injustice done to those who are unable to defend themselves. If you don’t like what you read then by all means get the FUCK OFF the site!! No one is forcing you to be here,so don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out!!
Ah, don’t sweat it deedeebug95, people in pain tend to say things to get back at guy like me who they perceive as bad guys. I half expected these kinds of responses from a few people. If it’s really a family member, they have every right to take a shot at me. When you do what I do, you get used to it.
I suppose you are right,Max but really leave family out of it! I don’t mind being swiped at on here but jeez your Wife has done nothing…I suppose that when folks can’t think of clever retorts they go after family…
Are you implying that you’re his maker? If not, why else would you need his address? Woah megalomania. How about you put the crack pipe down and rid yourself of that drug induced psychosis you’ve got going on over there.
Oh wait. Gotta defend your own don’t you. One more dangerous addict in hell. Hope you’re not far behind.
forgive me you are correct. goodbye forever
And good riddance!!!
Probably no need to send Max your address. I’m sure it’s part of the Public record somewhere, what with sex offender registration and all. But, hey, thanks for the offer.
i would like to meet max the cat someday our paths will cross.
fools like you never learn….
I’m sitting here trying to figure out who defends dangerous drug addicts that harm others…OH WAIT! OTHER DANGEROUS DRUG ADDICTS!
You know who defends her, someone who loves her. Your a sick sick person. You obviously have NO ONE. How can you act like you know exactly who Cara was and what kind of person she was from reading an article in a news paper. In the end only the opinions of people who knew matter. You people will continue to be hurtful and Cara will continure to be loved. She was a good person with a great heart that made some bad chioces. But now she is in a better place with a God that loves her unconditionaly.
Oh you’re baiting me, and I’m letting you. But what the hell. Do you realize in the same breath where you ask me how can I know what kind of person Cara was, you go right out and tell me who I OBVIOUSLY am? Wake the fuck up! I’m willing to bet you’re one of the people who enabled her. Well way to enable her right into the grave pinwheel.
I’ll tell you what, I may or may not have anybody, that’s really none of your damn business but if I did have as many people who loved me as you claim she had, INCLUDING A CHILD, I would think twice, maybe three four or five times, before doing what she did that day.
you have me Harley right in your corner1!!
So Cara’s sitting on that great big barstool in the sky with God. And I thought it was only Jesus that hung out with whores.
LOL…ouch!! Hahahahah
You can, and should, love people without defending their reprehensible actions. I love my dad. He used to drive drunk. I hate that he did that, and if he had hurt anyone doing it, I sure as fuck wouldn’t have defended his dumb ass. (Sober going on four years, though!)
And what, pray tell, can you teach me, tough guy.
Why does everybody want to threaten me today? This idiot thinks he’s going to cross paths with me, and he has no clue who I am – Pit Bull must be psychic.
More like a a tea cup poodle, tough behind a computer screen,but would run away with his little poofy tail between his legs,if you really did meet up!
ever think the pit bull might be a family member, and if not for this useless web-site people wouldn’t be saying such horrible things about Cara. No one is defending her actions, just her character. In spite of the irresonsable chioce she made she was a kind hearted person and her family loved unconditional as all families should love each other.
She had an 11 year old child!! She CHOSE to drink and drive and did not give a thought to any of her family!! I know what kind of character she had because I have a brother who is JUST LIKE HER!! He is kind, and funny and generous…he is also selfish, immune to other people’s pain! What she did BEFORE she got drunk was selfish,by taking that first drink.
Oh yeah, it’s my fault. If we had just kept things quiet they could have swept this dirty little secret under the rug. I feel so guilty that I told a true story. Woe is fucking me.
If I ever do something messed up, like drive drunk and kill myself or someone else, or molest a kid, or murder someone, you all have me permission to hammer me as badly as I’ve done to others – in fact, I would deserve it 10 times more for being a massive hypocrite, and I would be disappointed if you guys didn’t let me have it with both barrels.
But until that happens, I’m going to continue to write stories the same way I’ve been doing it for the past year and a half, and I’m going to keep telling the hard truth about people who commit the kinds of crimes we feature on this site.
Because the victims of these people deserve to have their stories told, and they deserve to be remembered. The families and friends of the offender may wish guys like me would just go away, but that’s not going to happen anytime soon.
pit bull may be a family member – okay, I’ll buy that. Drinkin’ and inbreedin’ – sorry I missed Thankgiving. Pass the turkey, please.
When I was about 10 years old my older sister was killed in a car accident. She was run off the road by another car. Don’t know if it was a drunk driver .. because they never did catch the low life motherfucker who did it (we know what did happen because her husband was in the car with her and survived).
I know that the people who are writing this sort of crap are probably friends and/or family of Cara … but seriously … she created a situation where she put the lives of innocent people at risk .. not once but TWICE (and that’s only what we know about … how many times did she do this and not get caught).
IMHO if we could ensure that the only people who were hurt or killed in drink/drug driving incidents were the dunks/druggies .. then, hell, I would vote we make it legal … just another form of natural selection.
Unfortunately that is not the case … and in these circumstances … I just can;t bring myself to feel bad for her … or any of her enablers. Her 11 y.o. son … him I feel for.
Well said!!
My fiance was killed by a drunk driver over 7 years ago while he was out looking for me because we had a fight! Imagine that guilt…. yes i had plenty of it and for many many years. If only did i say yes, come over so we can talk when he asked, oh no instead i tried to be “strong” and just go out w/ my friends to a place i do not normally go to show him I wasn’t thinking of him all the while he went to the place i usually go looking for me. At 2am he leaves and is killed not far from my house by a drunk driver! STill to this day almost 8 years later I wish pain and suffering on that driver. They never did find the person, only a description of the car. See i too can relate to this story as a victim of a drunk driver and I too find joy in knowing that she can no longer hurt someone like the person who killed my fiance hurt me! Everyone has good in them but that does not over shadow all of the pain and suffering that there stupid decisions cause on others!
I am sorry for your loss. I don’t think grieving ever goes away, I believe it changes and mellows over time…it does get easier! To bad they never caught the guy who did this, it makes it harder to move on,Karma is a bitch that drink driver will get his/hers,have no doubt.
Hey Missy, This is from an earlier post I did in another story, but I though you might like it anyways
It has been said
that time heals all wounds
I do not agree, the wounds remain
In time, the mind, protecting it’s sanity
covers them with scar tissue
and the pain lessens
but it is never gone
(Rose Kennedy)
Ooohh . . . “the pit bull.” So big and tough! You’re a scary guy — that’s why you’re “the pit bull”!
I’m SO impressed.
Fist, what, pray tell, is a “pit bill”? Second, I hate to sound like the mewling sycophant that I am, but I agree with Max, what self respecting human being would be so stoned out of her gourd at ONE O’CLOCK in the morning that she couldn’t maintain control of her vehicle? Cara didn’t learn from getting picked up in the first place, so her reign of stupidity was brought to a sharp and sudden end.
“First” not “Fist.” Damn laptop.
The only one that really suffers here is her son.. I would hope all this opinionated crap will be gone, before he can read it.. Can everyone be in agreement, this women lost her like due to an addiction, a disease perhaps.. that some of us are strong enough to overcome,, others not so lucky.. She was only 28 and is now gone, with a son who will never see his mother again.. Although I can understand how you all may feel.. this whole post should be gone, in the event her son googles her name.. That’s how I found this, and I couldn’t believe what I read.. It’s truly sad, when someone has to use anothers tragedy , to project off themselves , what is “truly wrong in their life” ! So whoever started this “people you’ll see in hell”, or actually added her name to it,, PAY ATTN: YOU truly need to look in the mirror, get the skeletons out of your closet, and stop projecting whatever EVIL you did in you life( because, obviously you did), to make it justifiable to feel like a cyber blogger vigilante~… You aren’t… sounds like before you sobered up,, ypou could have been where she is.. and if you truly were Clean & Sober,, you SHOULd always now, your next drink is a day away, just like your sobriety! Hope you fall off the wagon and best regards,
Give me a a damn break a disease? Please…my best friend of thirty years has two chronic diseases,MS and Dystonia she did not open a bottle and drink those two diseases down…sorry to anyone who is recovering! I have NEVER thought of addiction as a disease and never will! Chemical imbalance,sure after the addict has consumed so much of whatever poison they drink,inhale, mainline or whatever they do!!! Not a disease!! Get off your soapbox, she was an idiot, maybe if she had stayed home sober with her son none of us would be talking about her..lay the blame were it belongs on her and the family that did not keep the keys out of her hands!!
Ever heard of a little thing called the Constitution…Freedom of Speech and all that…
No, I seriously doubt I’ll be removing this post. And if there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s when someone tries to turn my recovery around on me and tell me, “there but for the grace of God go I”, as if I wasn’t aware of that already. I’m not projecting anything sweetheart – What I wrote is what happened. And the fact that I have no compassion for what she did and chose to take a tongue in cheek approach to the story was my way of making a point. It was also my way of getting people’s attention, so maybe, just maybe, Cara’s kind of idiotic, self centered bullshit doesn’t have to happen again. Cara’s son isn’t my victim, he’s Cara’s victim, and even if a thousand whining, guilt tripping fools like you show up at this website, you can never change that fact.
Ironically, for I too am a ‘non-practicing’ alcoholic, I agree with Deedee in saying it’s not a desease to ‘recover’ from, but a plain and simple…weakness. Until the issues you don’t want to face, that have you hiding in the bottle, or some other substance, are addressed…you’ll continue to put yourself, and others at risk in all kinds of ways. It took me years to own up to mine, and calling it a desease (in MY opinion) is an excuse, a cop-out to cower behind when you’ve done something unforgivable. Fix you mind, heart and soul, and you”ll find the strength to resist…Oh, and I’d be the FIRST to say, “Please…bash my stupid ass for doing that.” My family also would be on here talking about how much of a weak, jerkoff I was, and they love me dearly. Do I think she belongs in Hell? Absolutely not. Do I think she is? No. Do I think she is somewhere saying, “Damn I was a silfish, stupid dumbass for doing that.”? Yep. Even she would agree, I’m sure. God rest your soul. I pray He gives your son the strength, courage, and the wisdom to know better than repeat your habits and mistakes later in life. God bless.
Thanks Steph, Like I said it is much harder to get sober that not!!
No one ever “recovers” from addictioin. While in recovery, you arrest the developement of addiction, but it is never cured.
Exactly….and ‘recovering’ suggests that you are in the process of…which, like you said Timmy, we never do.
…and Timmy, though it’s been years, I would still like to extend my condolences for the loss of your sister. You are a selfless, dear soul for taking on the responsibility of parenting at such a young age. I wish you and your neice the best, and God bless.
Yeah, it couldv’e been me – but it wasn’t. I learned from my past – Cara didn’t. I’ve taken responsibility for my actions – Cara didn’t. I’m alive – Cara, well, not so much.
As for me falling off the wagon? I don’t think that will happen. Too many people like Cara remind me daily of what will happen to me if I do.
I know where I’ve been, and I know where I’m going.
I could NEVER have been where she was. And I have three brilliant children to prove I held onto my responsibility.
So if you don’t appreciate our freedom of speech, try disney.com. You’ll feel more at home there.
Cara could have sat at home every night and drank herself to death and that would have been her choice, but the moment she took herself out of the house and put herself behind the wheel of a car-a weapon- and put other people’s lives at risk-then she crossed the line. An addiction is never an acceptable excuse to risk other people’s lives. What makes her any different than the crack addict who kills someone robbing a store? Both are addicts, both made a conscious choice to become addicts and continue their addictions and both made the decision to break the law and endanger innocent people. When she put others at risk to feed her selfish addiction she became worthy of a vote to hell. Yes I do have family members who were dysfunctional, and addicted to substances so I know the risks addicts take and I really don’t care to give them a pass or excuse just because they had an addiction. Cancer is a sickness, alcoholism is a selfish choice
Ferrets, that first sentence you wrote says it all. The geniuses defending Cara can’t seem to get that. “the pit bull,” “to Harley Quinn,” “Amber,” “Jen,” . . . hmm . . . did someone say “family reunion”? And they actually think that by coming to this website and protesting that they’re going to change something. If they were all so fired up about Cara Dura, Patron Saint of One More for The Road, they should have encouraged her to seek help, hidden her keys, done an intervention, sat her down and talked to her about her son — DONE something. If they did, they’re strangely quiet about it. Yet they can drone endlessly about Cara bringing a smile to their face. Yes, a person can be both behave selfishly and bring a smile to a loved one. Happens all the time. So?
Not having a go Jen, honest I’m not….but that’s the whole point (IMO) of this website, We are (well myself) anyways here to verbally express what we think of people who commit crimes, it lets us say without doing…
Hang on, back up a second I just re-read that last line…if it’s not a typo, then go and get fucked C*nt…if it is I apolo…apol..you get my drift.
Ok, as I was reading the comments here, I thought of something. And I know I am kind of contradicting myself from my earlier post…now ask me if I care. I have to be the first to admit, I would be so heartbroken if I saw one of my family members on here. But here is the bottom line. This is a web-site, it is a discussion forum. It is people here to talk, really. I understand that some of this may be hurtful to family, but the only one who gets to decide what happens to any of us when we die is the big man upstairs. And it’s him who decides who goes to hell and who does not. Not us. We are just talking. So, if you REALLY do feel that Cara is in heaven with God, then what does it matter what is said here? If those of you who knew her know that she was a genuinely good-hearted person, then you are probably right, and any comments made by the rest of us are irrelevant.
hey Nicole, how you be….
Since I don’t know the ‘blood’ side of my family, I can’t really comment, as for my ‘parents and brother’ then on that subject, I believe my mother should be on this site, purely for mental/physical abusive, unlike I think it was HQ, who’s father actually commited suicide (thoughts to you HQ) my mother threatened at 16 that she ‘nearly commited suicide (because I wanted to find natural family) and made sure I knew she was ‘saved’ by her friend who pulled her down from the garage rafters, and not her ‘daughter’ and that the ‘daughter’ should have been there in the first place, so for 25 years and counting I live with that, the times that we speak which the last time was 3 year ago, I heard it again, but I made the choice to say ‘That was for the last time’ I can’t do this anymore, so for that I lost the right to speak to my dad and brother. The way I see it, it’s their choice, but it still kinda kicks me in the guts (like today I guess). The funny part is, I never actually did anything about it that day, I waited until I had to at 22, when I had a cervical cancer scare and they wanted to know if I knew ‘my family history’ but my ‘mother’ being her charming self, said I was doing it to ‘find a new family, and that I wasn’t sick at all’ even though I showed her the test results…go figure…Mind games, I fucking hate mind games…actually I think I’ve gone of subject a bit…sorry bout that, I was having a good day, until the local paper here came out with a dog abuse story, and it made me feel kinda shitty…
Good Lord your Mother committed emotional terrorism against you! Bless your heart,sounds like you escaped unscathed for the most part.
My only problem is now I have a thing for Nail/Staple guns and what I can/want to do with them ;) ‘snicker’
Jeez Janey, that’s horrible! So you have been through quite a bit of abuse yourself :( You never have to apologize for going off the subject. It actually does kind of work with this whole thing. I am sorry about your dad and your brother, but yeah-when it’s their choice, what can you do? That sucks. Hang in there little mama :)
0Let0’0s check out some of the other stories on this site! I am sure we could figure SOMETHING out,he,he
Sorry, guess I really am having a bad day to be spilling my woes, after the verbal came the bottle abuse, and then back to the ‘why me verbal’ I got alot throughout my life of “your lucky” ‘lucky we picked you out of all those babies’ ‘lucky you have a roof over your head, yada yada’ I didn’t get told about fathers heart attack until a week later from a friend in at the shopping mall, who said sorry to hear your dad’s not well, and even then, when I got there it was ‘ what are you doing here? Busy with ‘your other’ family to care about being here a week ago…I didn’t get invited to my brother’s wedding, I didnt even know he had girls or their names until the oldest niece was attacked by a dog. You see he didnt want to know where he had come from, he didnt cause any trouble, but me oh bad, bad me. I spent my life trying to be something I wasn’t to make up for that one thing I was blamed for, it was only up until that plane crash years ago, that I realised that life is to short to care what people think, and that life is all about choices, hell yeah I made some bad ones, with the booze/fights and many…many drugs. As much as I hate to say it, my marriage too, but thankfully we are the best of friends now (those who know me, know why I’m not married anymore)…
On a side note, my mother ordered a black dress for that day, so I went out and cancelled the white one, and got a red one instead, and the look I got was just…priceless.
After all this my point is I guess, I never went out and killed/robbed anyone, (even myself) that was the choice I made, and still make to this day, and will make everyday after this one…
That’s really brutal Janey. I feel sad when I see people who don’t have much of a family, because I don’t know what I would do without mine. I am sorry for all that you have been through, because you seem like a really awesome and kind hearted person. On the bright side, you have a crazy family here at PYSIH right? hee hee :o)
Thanks matey, that’s one of the reasons why I come here, Some days like after today it gets me through especially when I read stories that are so much worse than mine, then I get mad at myself for feeling all woe is me….but I didn’t have a drink so I’m happy bout that, gettin close to me bed time, happy bout that too….lol..
To all my pysih friends, sorry about today and my family history.
No need for apologies. :)
And by the way, I love this site, but I don’t plan on seeing ANY of these people in hell…I am trying to go to heaven.
Excellent point Timmy – I’m only hoping that one day they open the place up for tourism, or maybe start a “Scared Straight” type of program. No way would I want to spend any time there – LoL.
The problem is with my past it may be too late to balance the scales in Heaven’s favor.
oh I don’t know about that Max,shifting through the horror you do each day and giving victims a voice well undoubtedly even it all up…
It’s never too late late, Max ;)
No, Max. You have earned and continue to earn many, many heaven points, by your loving care of your feline friends!
Speaking of which — love the photo at the top of this post. Too adorable. Must be James Marshal Hendrix yelling “. . . (Manic Depression’s a) frustrating MESS!”
I’ll probably see them in hell, not for this though. But I went to Catholic School. I think that alone is a one way non refundable ticket.
Also Timmy I assure you, any humor I find in situations such as these is extremely bitter. It’s just how I am. And there’s a right time and place for it. I wouldn’t go to Cara’s funeral and pick on grieving people or spit in her face, that’s their time and I wouldn’t dare disrespect that. If someone comes here and is offended by what they see written about their loved ones…well…what would you expect on a website called People You’ll See in Hell?
Here, here! :)
I don’t think his post was cruel and unnecessary either. Simply put, if she had lived and killed someone, we’d all be here talking about how much she deserves hell.
Max, you are my hero. Please keep it up. You are an inspiration for so many.
Trust me she left her son long before he died. As a child of a alcoholic I fully understand how you feel at the tender age of 11 with a drunk parent. You feel ashamed and abandoned, that the only thing your parent truly loves is the bottle not you. Your used to being pushed aside and treated like shit only to end up thinking it’s because your a bad kid or you didn’t try hard enough to stop them. All that goes away the minute you seek help for it.. then you understand that it’s not you and never was and no matter how hard you try addiction is a disease and can’t be cured unless the person with it really truly wants it. And it’s obvious by her lack of smarts when she drove the second time she didn’t care who lived or died and didn’t want help. I’d almost be willing to bet she was hitting up the closest liquor store to wash away all the horribleness that was the cop shop with a nice big bottle of booze.
With addicted parents, chances are you’ve been in that vehicle at one point or another while they’ve been in that state of mind. I have and it’s the sole motivating reason for me to break the cycle. When I was 8 my dad loaded me and my 7 year old sister into his car for a trip 3 hours away to spend xmas with our family. We spent the first hour and a half in sheer terror while my dad drove to erratically he was swerving all over the road and tailgating people. He swerved into on coming traffic and at 8 I was left with no choice but to grab the wheel and yank us back into our own lane. My dad laughed about it and refused to slow down despite our screams of “we’re going to die”. The only thing that saved us was that when I jerked the wheel like that because he didn’t take his foot off the pedal we almost rear ended the car ahead of us. In that day and age cell phones where almost non existent for personal use but that person thankfully had one and called the police who shortly after ended our joy ride to hell.
Even from a young age we always knew my dad would die from the alcohol. Whether it be from damage to internal organs or from causing a accident (although he seldom ever drove again after that stint). Irony at it’s best..he was drinking but wasn’t driving, he was walking down the street and was hit by a 16 year old girl who was speeding at night and passed another car and lost control entering back into her lane and hit my dad. Did we go after her? No. Not because I didn’t blame her, but because I know she has to live with that for the rest of her life. I seen what my dad looked like after and there’s no way she doesn’t have nightmares about what her windshield did to his face when it lodged in. I don’t have hatred for the girl, I even hold a tiny place in my heart that pity’s her.
Something this lady’s boy will have to do is learn that the person that he called mom wasn’t really his mom when she was drinking or doing drugs. There’s 2 separate sides to a addict and only those that know addicts can understand that. I don’t think most addicts even realize that. I agree with everyone else that this lady got what was coming to her. I despise people who drive under the influence and think the slap they on the wrist they get with a DUI is far to little. Her son will be just fine as long as he has people he can talk to, like councilors ..not quacky family members who think she did no wrong, but qualified people to sort through the right and wrong that was his mother.
Allie, this is a brilliant comment. This is exactly the point I was trying to make – I only wish I could have made it as clearly and completely as you did here. Obviously, you’re not kidding when you say you’re the child of an alcoholic – Not only do I remember doing many of these thing to my own kids, but my dad did these same things to me and I felt the same feelings you describe. Thank you for your post, and for sharing your experience with us. It was quite powerful and hopefully will help people understand my story.
Perfect Alice. Definitely couldn’t have said it better. People used to tell me how nice and funny my Dad was. He was so popular with casual friends and strangers. That’s because they didn’t get to meet the unpredictable, angry alcoholic. I’m not sure how this little boy feels, but I know I was offended when people said nice things about my Dad. To me it was all a big lie. I’m guessing at eleven years old, he knows both sides of his mother and hopefully can sort them out for himself.
Oops! That should say Allie not Alice.
Ty ^__^ Sorry for the typo’s I was trying to type out what I meant quickly as it brings up horrible childhood memories. Saying that I also wouldn’t trade the way I grew up for anything, not even the posh sheltered lifestyle some kids have. I’m a firm believer in ‘your life is what you make of it’. I learned exactly what I didn’t want to be and how I didn’t want to treat my children. It made me who I am today, and lot of my personality traits are his, which I can proudly say.
I don’t hold any bitter feelings towards my dad because I learned to separate the good from the evil. I remember him for the good times and take solace in the fact that even if he couldn’t clean up his life in time to be there for me he was the best grandpa you could ask for with my oldest daughter. Who he never drank around. I have nothing but pure love in my heart for him even though he hurt me a lot growing up. Love and laughter are the best medicine for a broken heart and he gave me both even during the bad times <3
It's a shame more people can't learn to compartmentalize things like this in their lives..take both the good and the bad and walk away being wiser from it all. It works wonders when it comes to loved ones. You understand what they did was wrong and feel the need to see them punished for it but still love them and are there for them. Would cut down on all the family comment drama on here though..which I'd dearly miss =D
Again thank you Allie for voicing my feelings.
I fail to see what’s funny about this or how this is even justice, unless god feels that he should punish her friends and family for what she did. The dead don’t mourn. Justice would have been some kind of punishment that she was alive to experience, instead of passing the ball onto the people who loved her. It’s her family that is suffering here, not the deceased.
That’s all well and good. But by your logic God should have kept her alive and destructive to others just to keep her friends and family from feeling pain? What if it was one of them that she hurt? What if her son was in the car? All too terrible to think about and I’m glad she can’t hurt anybody anymore.
That being said, driving while under the influence is incredibly stupid, selfish and quite hell-worthy. I abhor drunk drivers. It’s just too bad that her family are the ones who wound up suffering because of her idiotic decisions — after all, she never would have been crossing that intersection in the first place had she not been arrested for drunk driving.
Serious? You blame the cops for arresting her as the reason she drove through that intersection and hit a innocent person? Give you head a shake..she was arrested for a reason. She was drunk, over the legal limit that’s her fault not the cops. They didn’t pour alcohol down her throat and release her worse off then she was. The only fault that belongs to the cops is that they didn’t hold her till she sobered up, but I’m sure they didn’t know the family would bond her out just to put her back on the road in 20 minutes. You would rather she was alive to spend the meager time in jail she would get then turn out like this? 19 DUI’s and 114 other convictions and it takes him killing someone to get the proper help he needs..life in prison with no bottle to wash away his worries.
http://www.thestar.com/printArticle/693456
or what about the drunk down in the states who hit that family and drug the kids down the road, killing the baby girl because she got lodged into the wheel well of his truck..which he left the scene and drove over 1 mile home in?
http://www.mercurynews.com/california/ci_13342584
The family would feel a whole lot worse had she killed someone else. Think of what her family would have gone through then. If that other driver had died then someone else’s family would be grieving because of her stupidity. At least she was the only one hurt by her lack of judgment. Think of what her family would have gone through then. I’m sorry to say but I’d rather see them grieve of her then see some innocent peoples lives ripped to shreds because of her.
Holy smokes typos >_<
Don’t worry about the typos, thats just some of what you have to deal with, your pouring your heart out, who cares if there are a few typos or not.
It’s your birthday Max? (or sometime around it?)… well, happy birthday!
Happy Birthday Max, Thanks for having all of us here.
To Allie…. very thoughtful post. Thank you.
i’m sorry, but one less dangerously intoxicated driver off the road, means good things for the rest of us. i feel bad for her son, thats about it. whoever bailed her rear out, stupid! and whoever’s car it was, STUPID! blah blah with addiction…addicts know what they are doing until they have fried their brains with hardcore drugs, last i heard alcohol gave u cirrhosis, which is liver issue. point is, she knew what she was doing (sure of it) and i’m sure she knew the consequences but didnt give a damn, which is sad considering her kid. hope the substances in her system are helping her to roast extra juicy on satan’s bbq pit
I only hope somebody who’s qualified to take care of her son will do so now, and that he doesn’t just end up in the care of one of her friends or family members who might be just like her. I’m not implying that they are the same but I am concerned with how much enabling went on.
I agree HQ. More so than anything, I hope he doesn’t end up with the family member that gave her the keys.
Just wanted to point out that according to another site, she didn’t borrow a car from someone after her release. She had originally been driving her mother’s car which was impounded after her arrest. She was released into the custody of a friend who drove her home. After she arrived home, she got into her own car and decided to go out.
So there’s really only one person to blame here and I think she’s been taken to task for it — by God.
That’s correct Mary – I just found it out for myself last night from one of the comments to a follow-up story in the Middletown Press, but I hadn’t been able to verify it until now.
Good job picking up on that.
I’m glad to know this, I shall henceforth retract any statement damning a friend or family member for passing off the keys to their car to an intoxicated person.
I’ll still pick on the friends who defend her though.
What…I’m not perfect.
Ditto.
O.K. I won’t say anything more about the family giving her their keys, I was responding to the original post and that was the information we got. But, I will say this…why the Hell did someone NOT TAKE HER KEYS or at least sit with her until the the dumb ass passed out, or called the cops! If I had bailed her ass out I would have made sure that she had no way to get around unless it was on her own to feet! But the thing is I would never have bailed her out in the first place… my brother called me to bail him out on his first two DWI’s and I never bailed him out! After he got the first two DWI’s we started taking his keys away, but he is a crafty little shit he made many copies of his car keys and hid them around his place. We would then have to baby sit him so he would not take out a spare and drive. I am a 46 year old woman who has a child to support… the last time I was involved with his crap I literally had to choke hold him to keep him from leaving, after that night I washed my hands of him and called the police (he had a warrant out) and turned him in! If my family ever find out they would disown me! They are his greatest enabler’s they won’t let him drive ,but they will let him drink!
That’s insane DeeDee! Considering the fact that you did that probably saved your brother’s life and the lives of anyone who was on the road with him. Your family should be kissing the ground you walk on!
That’s awful you have had to deal with any of that. Somebody who is like that needs to be in a place where they’re under constant supervision and they rarely are so the responsibility falls on the people around them even if they didn’t ask for it or can’t be there 24/7. I’m sorry that role was forced on you.
Hey deedee, may not feel like much, but kudos to you for turning him in, imo it shows that your a very strong woman so again kudos
Thanks all, I have to say the first time I turned him in there was a lot of anger and resentment built up so it was easy. This time it was harder because I know once they throw him back in to the pen my Mom will become obsessed and will drive to see him where ever he is jailed. Last time he was in she drove 5 hours one way to see him EVERY weekend, missed birthdays her only grand child’s school performances anything that was going on and when she was home she was on a site called prison chat (or some such bullshit) lamenting the harsh treatment of inmates with other families…like I said I moved 200 miles away to get out of that disfuntion!
hey deedee, I’ve done that (not sure what your miles is to our kilometers) when my ex girlfriend went to jail for fraud, all I know is that it took up to 12+ hours to drive there, nearly killed myself falling asleep, paid for her to have ‘goodies’ inside, wait for her for 21 months (sent myself bankrupt) only to get a ‘Dear Jane’ letter a month before she got out, I also ended up moving back to my home town and tomorrow I’m having a garage sale to get rid of her stuff (only taken me 15 months) I’m just to nice for my own good sometimes…was trying to make a point but I forgot what it was…lol
Janey, I think I must say on your behalf “good riddance” she sounds a lot like my ex-husband…selfish and dis-loyal, I am so sorry about your financial woes my ex stole credit cards,forged checks and then left me for my “best friend”…I tell you now looking back that bitch was the best thing that ever happened to me! Finally freed me of the “love” I had for him! To both of them I say good riddance! I think a kilometer is about 1and a 1/2 miles….You will be fine sweetie!!
I think the bitch put a hex in me, I sold 3 things…lol…as far as garage sales go mine bombed…lol
Damn that sucks…that crap might have some bad MoJo connected to it!Try one more time and then get rid of that crap…I was hoping that you made a lot of money…feel bad for you!!
I feel bad for me too….lol…and trying again next week, I will remember to advertise in paper this time though….and if it still don’t go then bonfire sounds good :)…well except the antique books I’m hoping to take them to the city and sell at auction since there so old and valuable.Thanks tho deedee :)
I put a lot of blame on the police officers who didn’t put her ass in a jail cell for the night, and the family members who didn’t monitor her safety and ensure that she didn’t get back behind the wheel of the car that night. I think that EVERY drunk driver should be locked up for 24 hours so that they DON’T get behind the wheel of another car while their judgment is still impaired.
I do feel sorry for Cara….she had a disease that is treatable. She was probably so shit-faced that night that her judgment was non-existent. Who among us never made a phone call, sent an email, or said something we later sorely regretted while drunk? I know that driving drunk is much more serious than just acting like an asshole while drunk…but I still feel sorry for her.
I guess that’s the crisis intervention counselor part of me coming out!
I’ve been away for a bit. Did you miss me, Max, lol.
Staying clean is not easy. I knothis as a fact. like you max I have 4 years of no drugs. I smoke cigs like crazy and drink ice tea like a mad man. no booze nothing at all. Keep it up we will make it.