Nadja Benaissa
I was searching for an interesting story to write about, and came upon an interesting moral dilemma. Well, perhaps it’s not so much a moral dilemma as a test of character. Ready? OK, here it is.
It’s the beginning of the 21st century. You’re a member of an incredibly successful musical group. You and your bandmates have paid your dues, working gigs at run down bars and 3rd rate venues for little or no pay, working your way up the ladder of fame.
Your big break comes in the form of an American Idol type television talent show for singing groups. All that hard work, all those hours and hours of practicing and rehearsing finally pay off, and you and the band are declared the winners.
Now, instead of gigging at dive bars that hold 50 or 100 people, you’re performing in twenty-thousand seat arenas to overflow crowds. The band’s first album sells nearly one million copies before it ever arrives at record shops.
You’ve finally made it.
There’s just one problem, and it’s a big one. You’ve known for many years that you are HIV positive. You were infested by a blood transfusion during surgery, through no fault of your own, but you a convinced that if it is ever revealed publically, it will mean the end of the band and your dream.
You decide to keep your condition a secret, which is harmless by itself. But what about the guys you choose to date. Whether it’s a one night stand or a long term relationship, what do you tell your partner? Do you tell the truth, and risk 
a vindictive lover spilling the beans in a fit of anger or jealousy, or do remain silent, but make sure you practice safe sex.
Or do you take door number three, and pretend that everything is fine and dandy, and you don’t actually have the virus, therefore, there’s no need to take precautions to ensure the safety of your partner. Now you don’t have to explain why you insist on a condom.
So what do you do?.
It really is test of character, isn’t it? Well, this is exactly the predicament that singer Nadja Benaissa, 28, one of the original members of the German girl band No Angels, found herself in. From what I can tell, No Angels is the German equivalent of Girls Aloud (whoever they are – I’m really feeling the generation gap right now).
Her solution has not only shocked people with her callous disregard for the well-being of others, but presented us all with the moral dilemma I discussed at the beginning of my story; How far would you go to protect your lifelong dream of fame and fortune?
Before I continue, it’s important to know that Nadja Benaissa has been on trial this week for knowingly infecting one of her sexual partner with HIV without informing him of her status or using proper precautions. Closing arguments were on Wednesday, August 25th, 2010, and a verdict is expected any time now.
Nadja Benaissa was addicted to crack cocaine at 14 and living on the street, but 2 years later, in 1998, she discovered she was pregnant and stopped using drugs, only to find out during a regular pregnancy blood test that she was HIV-positive. Thankfully, her now 12-year-old daughter was virus-free.
She and the other original members of the No Angels were selected during the international TV talent show Popstars in 2000, and became Germany’s most successful girl band, selling five million albums from 2000 to 2003.
When Nadja Benaissa was faced with her dilemma, she chose to remain silent. She hid her HIV status from everyone, fearing it would damage her career. She also claims that she didn’t want to stigmatize her then baby daughter – even though the child had no trace of the disease. And, of course, she didn’t want to jeopardize the band.
Even though I don’t buy Nadja’s claim that a health professional told her it was nearly impossible for her to infect another person, I think most of us can see her point – hey, it’s nobody else’s business anyways. But Nadja Benaissa wasn’t celibate during this period either – or careful.
As a matter of fact, she admits to having sex with the three men a maximum of five times between 2000 and 2004. During those five encounter she neither informed her partners of her HIV positive status nor took any precautions to protect them from becoming infected.
Unfortunately one of those partners, a 34-year-old man, discovered that he was HIV positive in 2009, when news of Nadja Benaissa’s HIV status became public, prompting him to get tested by his doctor:
“[After] a few hours he called me and said I should go to see him. It was then I knew I was positive.”
Needless to say, the man, who I’ll call Mr. Smith, was pretty unhappy that Nadja Benaissa had neglected to inform him of her little “issue”. Surprisingly though, he was not the one who ended up reporting Nadja to the police.
No, one her other two sexual partners, who had also heard through the media of Ms. Benaissa’s HIV positive status, went to police and made a complaint.
On April 11th, 2009, police arrested Nadja Benaissa on charges of causing grievous bodily harm for allegedly infecting Mr. Smith with the virus in 2004 and attempting to cause grievous bodily harm for having unprotected sex with her two other partners.
Nadja Benaissa was held in jail for 10 days, after a judge ruled there was a danger she might repeat the alleged offense, but eventually she was released on April 21st, 2009, after German and other European AIDS groups complained about her treatment.
The arrest of such a high profile person for infecting another person with the HIV virus has opened a HUGE can of worms. To me, this is a simple case; Did Nadja Benaissa have the right to protect her career by not informing her lovers that she was HIV positive? Even she doesn’t believe that, as we can plainly see by the statement she read on the stand during her trial, where she admitted to the charges and apologized to all three of her “victims”.
“I’d been told the likelihood of infecting someone or that I would develop the illness [Aids] was more or less zero. For that reason, I kept the news, even from my close group of friends, [as] I didn’t want my daughter to be stigmatized. I told the band members because I trusted them but I never made it public because I feared that it would mean the end of the band.”
“I am sorry from the bottom of my heart. No way did I want my partner to be infected.”
She gets no points from me for this pretty speech. In my book, anything you say or do after you’ve already been caught loses a major portion of its credibility. If Nadja Benaissa had made a similar statement in, say, 2008, well now that would have taken some courage.
But AIDS activists couldn’t resist the opportunity to criticize this prosecution as contributing to the stigmatization of people with HIV, and demanding that all laws that criminalize anything to do with HIV or AIDS be overturned. Many went so far as to, that’s right folks, suggest that the victim, Mr. Smith, was partly responsible for his infection.
OK, so I believe in practicing safe sex myself, but I don’t know, maybe I’m naive for expecting this, but if my partner has a disease as serious as HIV, she’d have the common fucking decency to let me know about it. Especially, ESPECIALLY if we were about to engage in unprotected sex.
So please, to all you AIDS support groups out there who are using this incident as a chance to get a little free publicity for your respective agendas, please, have some compassion for a 34-year-old man whose life has just been turned upside down through no fault of his own, and shut the fuck up.
Thank you.
To Nadja Benaissa, I have this to say. I understand that you were young, and that you literally went from rags to riches. I also understand that protecting your career must have seemed like the most important thing in the world. But lying by omission to these three men was not your only option, nor your first one. What you chose to do was beyond selfish. It was reckless, premeditated and evil.
Perhaps I’m being too hard on Nadja Benaissa. After all, she has admitted in court that her actions were irresponsible and cruel, and she has apologized directly to the man she infected, along with her other two ex-boyfriends. Maybe it’s wrong to condemn someone for actions taken 5 or 6 years ago. I’ve thought a lot about these two points.
But I keep coming back to this; Nadja Benaissa chose to have unprotected sex with three men because she was afraid that if she was exposed as HIV positive, it would endanger the popularity of her band No Angels and ruin her chances to remain rich and famous. She decided her career was more important than the health and well being of these men.
That’s what this case is about. It’s about that poor slob who is now HIV positive and will live with that for the rest of his life – as someone who lives with heart disease, I understand all to well what living with a chronic, fatal, incurable disease does to your peace of mind. While HIV is not the death sentence it used to be, there’s no doubt this man’s quality of life has taken a huge hit.
And where are the AIDS advocacy group’s support for him? Why is there no righteous indignation over the treatment he has received? Perhaps if these groups pulled their heads out of the politician’s asses long enough to take a couple of breaths of fresh air, they’d remember the PEOPLE who are suffering out here with HIV and full-blown AIDS.
Anyway, life goes on. The prosecution in Nadja Benaissa’s trial for inflicting grievous bodily harm has just stated in their closing argument that they are not asking the court for jail time for the singer, just two years probation. My idea about Nadja’s actions in court being part of a well orchestrated plan is sounding better and better.
UPDATE: August 27th, 2010
Nadja Benaissa was found guilty as charged today, as a panel of three judges and two laypersons convicted her of one count of causing grievous bodily harm and four counts of attempting to cause grievous bodily harm. In addition to serving a two-year suspended sentence, Ms. Benaissa was ordered to perform 300 hours of community service.
Does Nadja Benaissa Deserve Hell?
- Yes (65%, 326 Votes)
- No (35%, 172 Votes)
Total Voters: 498
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102 Comments »
This is an excellent example of how the me-generation think. As long as you’re rich and famous, who cares about others?
And I can’t help but think she squandered a brilliant chance to dispel the worst of the myths regarding HIV. It’s not the same death-sentence these days as it used to be. I mean, there may not be a cure, but there is medication with which you can live a full life. As long as you remember to be a little more careful than usual.
She could have been a true hero for people with HIV. Instead she revealed herself as a selfish bitch. She can say she’s sorry, but that will never erase what she’s done.
What a piece of shit she is. And damn — every shot of her face makes me want to punch her!!! She looks so f*n smug.
By the way, great write up Max. Was it as frustrating as it looks to have to write about this POS? I really really hate her and it’s on sight — naturally, her actions make her hate-worthy, and I wish she’d have dropped a little more of the drugs she took so we could be writing about her in the past tense……
i really thought about this one before i voted because i know when i was young i made really stupid choices about sex and i literally thank God all the time i am not paying for it now. so this girl makes stupid decisions when she was young (which is forgivable) but she does have to pay for it now, she infected someone else. i honestly think had she not infected that man i would say no hell. i mean she played russian roulette but with someone else life and 1 out of 3 guys lost. i do think that should be punishable by law. i am glad to know she feels bad (just like the rest of us for our own stupid mistakes) because that means she has grown up and hopefully she will deal with her sentence in the same way.
So according to you it’s OK to play Russian Roulette as no one eats the bullet?
That’s BS. Even if no one ended up with AIDS she still should rot in hell for endangering other people like that.
If you have something that could effect someone’s health for THE REST OF THEIR LIVES you have an obligation to protect them.
Oh Max, the whole idea is a basic question:
Which option shall I choose? Good or evil?
It really *is* that simple. And, no, sorry, it don’t wash with me — no doctor in, what was it, 1998? No doctor would say that there was no chance of passing it along. It was pretty much still a death scenario and we have only lately had some strides forward. The AIDS groups are still paranoid because of the huge backlash that came about with herpes. Yes, it was herpes way back in the 1980s that rattled everyone’s cage because it was FOREVER and it came from having SEX. I still remember reading the TIME magazine on the herpes scandal and there was a tiny one column article about a weird virus in Africa and San Francisco. That little article gave me more of a creepy feeling as it just *sounded* really bad and it turned out to be AIDS/HIV. The backlash about herpes was really hilarious in retrospect as they had after-school movies on it and people were ostracized in communities and yada yada yada.
Well, you know what happened? AIDS/HIV came along and made herpes look like a sunburn. IT KILLED!!!! And quite quickly when it first appeared. Like everything we humans get, it seems to have toned down in its killing power and some people are actually living with it. It has lead to people being discriminated against and while that is wrong, people get discriminated against for a whole variety of reasons. The AIDS activists need to realize that it is people like Nadja Benaissa that make it bad for everyone else who has HIV/AIDS and are RESPONSIBLE. SHE is the one that they should come down on like a ton of bricks. She is giving people a reason to be afraid of people with HIV/AIDS, a reason to discriminate, a reason to hate. You can’t excuse her behaviour because it is inexcusable. She has made things bad for her daughter because with Nadja as a role-model, the kid is likely to be an ass-hat just like her. What’s the message? Do whatever you want to whomever you want — just don’t get caught.
I really hate her guts and it’s got to be the smirk she has perpetually on her face. I’d really like to wipe it off, like with a sandblaster.
As you point out, she could have insisted on a condom every time, and hey, she could have made up any reason in the world for why, couldn’t she? She could have even said she had herpes, because by the time she hit fame, herpes was controlled with pills and/or cream — she could have been “honest” and said she had a sexually transmitted disease, a virus, and it would have been the truth. If she let them believe it was herpes, then no harm would be done because I doubt anyone would want to catch herpes either. She could have done a lot of things — insisted on condoms because she didn’t want to get pregnant, or because she was worried about the cervical cancer virus, or because it was a good public service message to send to her fans — anything at all. She did this on purpose. I can see no other reason than she found out she was HIV positive and it was crapping on her parade. Why should she have to have this kind of news to deal with when everything came true for her? She’d just have to take a couple of people with her — that’s what the criminals in Canada have been convicted of doing — their reason is that they WANTED to infect others because they felt it was unfair that they had the disease. She’s just doing the same thing — taking a couple of victims with her.
She is a piece of psychopathic shit.
Too bad she won’t get any real punishment. ;(
It would have been so easy to insist on a condom and tell her partners that she is just a “safety girl”. What a complete bitch. Thanks Mom btw. I know you were trying to save me from a life of being stigmatized and all, but all this humiliation at this crucial age, when all you want is to fit in, is actually way worse. Thanks.
She had no right to give someone else a death sentence. She makes me sick. Selfish bitch.
I’m also curious to know if “Mr. Smith” unknowingly infected anyone else before he was tested. Unprotected sex with anyone other than a partner is scary. It’s just not worth it.
After my mom died, I later found out she had a severe case of genital herpes. She blamed all men for condition and had unprotected sex with many men and gave the virus to a lot of them. It’s not a death sentence, but it is a gift that just keeps giving. I’m humilated to know that she did this and I can’t imagine what her daughter is going through.
I would think that AIDS/HIV organizations would be the first to condemn this person.
This is no different then playing Russian Roulette. Getting the disease is the same as spinning the revolver, pointing it at someone and pulling the trigger. Maybe a bullet will go off… Maybe it won’t. Personally, I think this should be treated as negligent homicide. What she did was basically kill this man, given it’s a slow and painful. Someday both of them will get AIDS, and the slow and torturous death will start. The only difference between what she did and killing the man with a bullet was the time and torture in between pulling the trigger and death.
Yes, the man should have taken basic steps to protect himself. But we also prosecute parents who just happen to leave a loaded gun where a child could get too it. Even though the parent thought it was safe where it was, they still get in trouble if their child or teen get a hold of it and causes trouble.
This incident reminds me of an old country song, “She Thinks His Name Was John” by Reba McEntire. I suggest everyone listen to it, even thought it’s country.. The song has a good message too it.
I find it very hard to be on any side of the argument in this case. She obviously made errors in judgement, but placing the blame completely on her is ludacris. Where’s the call for him to take some personal responsibility? Isn’t safe sex everyone’s responsibility? Or is it becoming like birth control, only the woman’s job? Truth is, if any of these men had taken the time to think about it and cover up, we wouldn’t be talking about this. I can only guess at what was going thru their minds at the time, but from the counseling that i’ve done, I’m sure it was something like this: him: “If she doesn’t make me wear a condom, I’m not bringing it up” and her: “If he doesn’t care, I don’t care” I don’t really understand the outrage over this whole thing though.
Everyone that is infected with HIV got it from someone else that was infected, be it thru sex, drugs or transfusion. If you could prosecute for infection, why aren’t there hundreds of people in jail for infecting others. At this point in the epidemic, there would be an entire jail full of just those who infected others with HIV. And then, why don’t we prosecute for infecting people with the flu? If you go to work sick, and someone else gets sick, isn’t that the same thing? You didn’t do anything to protect your co-workers from getting ill, so you should be liable for their infection. Where does it stop? Do we prosecute kids for spreading the chicken pox or strep throat? or the parents for not keeping the kids home from school?
The only reason she’s on trial is because she has money. She’ll be convicted, pay her restitution and then she’ll face a civil suit. He’ll sue her and he’ll win. Then he’ll have all her money and none of it matters, because they will both die of aids anyway. Instead of wasting so much time and energy on this incident of who to hold responsible when both of them obviously forgot the basic teachings of sex ed, why don’t we focus our energies on finding a cure. You have it, she has it, he has it, who cares who has it, how do we cure it?
Have you ever seen anyone die of AIDS? It isn’t pretty. It’s a long, painful death. Let’s not compare it to the flu.
And, I don’t think anyone is saying that Mr. Smith shouldn’t have wrapped his junk, but not to tell a potential lover that you have a deadly, incurable disease is unfathomable.
Yes. A very dear cousin died of the disease many years ago. And although I still grieve his death, I do not blame anyone but him for contracting the disease. He was not infected by means that he could not control. Nor was this Mr. Smith. Had he thought about protecting himself, we would not be having this discussion. There are thousands of people facing a death sentence for something stupid they did a decade ago. What makes him any different?
Hypothetical situation. I have an empty gun and I point it at your head and pull the trigger. And then I find out I was wrong. Do I get the chance to say, “Oops… Oh well… My bad, sorry.” I’m sure you with your brain matter and skull parts all over the wall doesn’t care much, after all it was just a mistake. Sure I knew that there was a slight chance that someone touched that gun since the last time I unloaded it. But I was SOOOO sure that the gun was empty, so it’s not my fault… I shouldn’t be charged with your murder. Of course there is a slight chance I don’t know how a gun works as well as I thought it did. I’m sorry your dead, but not MY fault. It’s all your fault for standing there like an idiot and trusting me. I’m totally innocent in your death…
It’s the same thing with HIV/AIDS. You don’t get do overs. Sure you can say, “I’m sorry I’m forcing you to die a slow and painful death. I thought my privicy was more important then you.” AIDS has got to be one of the worst ways to die. While I’ve never known a person who’s died of AIDS, but I’ve seen more then a few die from Cancers and currently watching my step-daughters battle Cystic Fibrosis.
I don’t care if there was a 25% chance she could have infected other people… If your plane had a 25% chance of falling out of the sky, I doubt any normal person would step foot on it.
Your hypothetical situation just proves my point even more. How stupid would I have to be to allow you to hold a gun to my head unless I knew for a fact, beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was empty. I wouldn’t just take your word for it. I’d check, double check and then triple check to make sure. And even then, I don’t think I’d let you do it. The same premise applies here. He didn’t check, he didn’t ask, he didn’t care. All he cared about was a piece of ass! Damn the consequences. And unfortunately for him, in this day and age, HIV is the consequence.
Do you blame her at all? It does seem to me that you’re placing all of the blame on him, and that’s just not right in my opinion. She KNEW the gun was loaded and she didn’t tell him. Stupid or not, there’s no reason he should accept all of the blame. What he did was dumb – what she did was downright criminal. Criminal negligence, in fact.
I do put a lot of the owness on her. She should have insisted on protection because she knew she was infected. However, I am a huge advocate of social responsibility and neither of them were socially responsible.
Totally agreed, regarding the social responsibility issue. I’m a big advocate of that too. It’s lack is the source of 75% of the worlds problems, in my conservative estimation. If people would just take responsible for their actions, and think of the ramifications and possible consequences, this world would be a much better place.
I have a photo of a generic super hero on my computer, with the caption “Common Sense – So rare it’s a goddamned super power!”
I have to agree with Sonomal here… to a point, of course. I don’t think it’s quite as “not a big deal” as this post implies, but I do have to agree with the “Mr. Smith is just as responsible as she is” mentality. It’s the same idea as we see reading some of these other stories on this site, when a mom (or a dad) sits by and doesn’t take responsibility for their children, and those kids wind up getting hurt. They might not have hurt their kids directly, but they knew better and they knew what they should have done to protect their kids.
We ostracize those people based on the “You should have known better” platform. Because they should have. But this leads me back around to my idea on this. I believe she SHOULD get jail time for knowingly harming another person. But in no way, should he get the “poor pititful me” looks. He knew what he was doing when he did it. She should have told him. Abso-freakin-lutely. But he should have had the common sense to not trust everyeone you meet.
Hey Sonomal! You leave Ludacris out of this. What has the poor rap star got to do with it?
To paraphrase you, he got it, she got it, who cares?
Darling, I do. Yes, I don’t aim to offend too much if I do(although if I do, it is what it is) but um, I think it is not only my right to know the HIV STATUS of my potential partner but it is in my best interest to care, being that I can suffer health problems in the near future or a gradual death sentence later on not being privy to this so-called “minor” info.
Do I think AIDS victims suffer alot of stigma and self righteous judgement depending on how they got aids.YES.(Do I think it is fair, NO.)
Do I think the guy should have considered protection.(maybe.Scratch that, yeah they should have.)
Do I think women get more stigmatized for their sexual responsibility or lack of it. CERTAINLY.
Do stars some times get castigated for their flaws in ways that ordinary do. Yeah they do, and no it is not right, but that is an unfortunate drawback of their job.
All the things being above unfortunate and mostly true, none of this changes the fact that since the lady knowingly affected three guys with an incurable disease, she was wrong and more at fault than the three life partners even if a case could be made for poor decision making/bad choices/lack of personal responsibility. There just is no way to really dress this up-and you know what, this would be the case if Nadja Benaissa was an average jane. Hey, in all seriousness, this would be the case if she was an average joe-and the potential aids cases were women! Which leads me to this question( in all seriousness),” if-the-victims-were- women”, would you be focusing more on their lack of responsibility and less on the man infecting people? I ask simply because I just wonder! I “am” kinda curious-and again “I am not trying to be funny here”. I am dead serious. Let me say this again. I take issue with the double standard meeted out on issues of gender when it comes to men and women myself, but even with a possible valid argument that that was the case here, another argument could be made that what she did was wrong regardless of gender or societal double standards. On top of this, forgive me if I said this ALREADY, this does not change the fact that she knowingly infected three people!!! This being the case,I have mixed views about her being considered a potential candidate for hell since I get the impression that she did not set out to kill people(even though I understand people that would vote in the affirmative), but EVEN STILL, jail is well deserved and justified punishment since her not disclosing her problem put the three guys at the risk of death and one with a certain death sentence regardless of her motive. Shoot, in seriousness and jest, like other posters here, in the court of public opinion I charge her with extreme selfishness too, because if nobody else didn’t know, the men should have! Oh yeah, and one more thing. About her spreading of HIV being no different than the common cold, the flu or pneumonia, I feel compelled to sentence you to the BS police on the account of foolish talk and a some silliness simply because the former disease is an incurable, deadly epidemic and the latter diseases aren’t so!
How have 45% of readers voted no? Did her mindless zombie fans find this site already and have started power voting???
As someone who has been lied to about a partner’s HIV status (and miraculously did NOT get infected), I am disgusted. I may not have caught anything, but I did lose a great deal of my faith in people. A lot. The psychological damage tends to be pretty extensive.
So anyone who wants to defend her can go anally rape themselves with some barbed wire. Think of me when you’re doing it.
But had you contracted the disease, would not also be to blame?
I mean, would you not also be to blame?
How would I be to blame? This was someone that I knew who told me he was negative. There was evil intent. If I had been raped, would that have been my fault too?
Surely if you KNOW you have HIV you have more of a responsibility to make sure you wear a condom.
I mean, if you KNEW somebody (which she did know the guy she gave it too well) you would assume that if they had HIV they would (even if they didn’t tell you they did) insist that you wear a condom!
The guys HIV developed into ‘full blown’ aids. When I read that ‘full blown’ part I imagined the Family Guy episode with the barber shop quartet telling that dude that he had aids!
Let’s say I have a man-eating tiger for a pet, illegally kept in a cage in my back yard. He seems gentle enough when he’s caged, to the point that my neighbors think he’s tame. Sure that’s stupid of them, but people have assumed worse things than that. Let’s say they ask to go into the cage to pet my tiger. I have two choices here, at least. I could let them go in and take their chances with the tiger, who seems tame and innocent, and avoid telling them about the illegality of keeping him as a pet. Or I could tell them no, he’s a man-eater and he’s here illegally and he might kill you, please don’t tell the cops.
Do I choose to protect myself and hope the tiger isn’t hungry, or do I tell my neighbor no and risk them going to the cops? Do I save a life, or do I save my lifestyle?
A tiger, tame or not, is capable of killing a person even by an innocent mistake. It might happen or it might not. That doesn’t give me the right to ignore the chance, to make that decision for another person. Sure, they should know better and take proper precautions themselves, but sometimes people just don’t if they have no reason to foresee danger. It’s up to me, as the owner and caretaker of the man-eating tiger, to warn them and prevent their death.
Sure, it’s a stupid analogy, but it’s the only one I could come up with on less than a quarter cup of coffee this morning. At least I didn’t use the ‘rabid anteater’ analogy, though we all know I’m more likely to keep one of those as a pet, instead of a tiger. I settled on a ball python, who’s too timid to eat live mice and instead lets them ride around on his head. He’s a 5ft Worm of Cowardice.
Ultimately, it was up to Nadja to put the safety on the gun before she handed it to her partner. Her vagina became a deadly weapon as soon as she became infected, and she chose to hand it over anyway, fully loaded, for entirely selfish reasons.
What she did was attempt to murder the men she slept with. That’s how I see it, anyway.
That’s a good point, Becky.. And I do agree with you. Like I said.. she should 100% be prosecuted, I believe. She has effectively killed another person with her own cowardice and selfishness and she should be made to take full responsibility for that.
At the same time, if some idiot climbs into a cage with a Tiger, whether they know about his illegal immigration status (ha! Had to use it), or not, and whether or not they know if he’s hungry, or if he has a history of having humans for tasty snacks… If he chooses to climb into that cage (assuming this is an adult with an at least average IQ), I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to grab a lawn chair and a beer.
I don’t think people are required anymore to take responsibility for their own carelessness sometimes. Sure, we still harbor ill will toward people who practice vindictiveness or negligence, or in this case, selfishness AND negligence, but Mr Smith can’t be excused from responsibility either. He’s a grown man (and I assume at least moderately intelligent). He shouldn’t have climbed into the cage.
At least, not without some massive body armor and a tranquilizer gun.
Do you ask all of your partners their HIV status? If they tell you they’ve never been tested, or are clean, how do you know they aren’t lying? I personally don’t walk around with my test results in my purse, do you? Nor do I know anyone who does. That tells me, as a woman, to always protect myself. No ifs, ands, or buts, no excuses, no exceptions. But I can’t be the only one who paid attention in health class.
On the other hand, perhaps she did tell him and perhaps she relayed the information that she was told that it’s rare for a woman to pass the disease on to a man and maybe he didn’t care. It’s his penis, it’s his life. Because he didn’t think, or care enough to protect himself does not give reason to prosecute this woman.
Bottom line: it’s death by negligence. She knew she was carrying around a man-eating tiger in her lacy panties and did nothing to prevent that tiger from leaping out and killing the first idiot that looked tasty.
In the end, they’re both responsible for this man’s death sentence, but only one party was fully informed and chose to gamble with the second party’s health and ultimately, his life. There should be reprecussions for that.
As to your argument about the other ailments that we are not prosecuted for passing around, it IS a little different seeing as how a lot of the illnesses that you mentioned are airborne. People get them through no fault of their own, suffer for a week or so, then heal. Yes, sometimes these illnesses cause death in the carriers. In a very SMALL percentage, I have to add. But simply getting the illness is not a death sentence in itself.
Besides all that, this is NOT a cold or the flu, and he didn’t catch it by shaking hands with her and then rubbing his eyes. She knew she had it. She should have taken some responsibility for that.
I’m sorry, I still don’t agree with that. Until proven otherwise, all people should be assumed to have a deadly disease. There’s too much knowledge in this world to take any of it lightly. We are all responsible for our own health and well being. He wasn’t shot, stabbed, beat up or otherwise hurt by means beyond his control. He has no one to blame but himself. If the roles were reveresed and he gave HIV to her, I’d feel the same way. You are responsible for your own sexual health, not your partner, not anyone else. Had she stuck him with a needle she used, or allowed him to share a needle for IV drugs, that too would be a different case. Aside from knowing your partner’s HIV status, in writing, from a reputable lab, if you don’t wear a condom, you are setting yourself up for a disease.
You would be 100% correct except for a couple of reasons. First off, the unprotected sex that Nadja and the now-infected man had was not the first encounter they had, The first time they slept together, he wore a condom.
She had an obligation to tell her partners that she was HIV positive if they wanted to “take a shower without a raincoat”. I’m amazed that anyone could even argue this point – even Nadja admitted she was wrong for doing it. Especially when your motivation for not revealing it is to protect your fame and fortune.
To defend such a person is despicable.
How is, as you said, allowing somebody to share a needle with you (when you know you have HIV) any different from allowing somebody to have unprotected sex with you (when you know you have HIV)?
It’s not different at all. In both situations any decent person would say “hold on a minute pal, I need to tell you something”.
Flawed.
If I wasn’t married, I would certainly discuss STI’s with my intended partner. I’m not one to sleep around randomly, and I never was. In this day and age, it’s downright stupid and negligent to do otherwise. If you’re too timid to tell someone about it, if you’re not comfortable discussing it with a person you’re about to sleep with, why are you sleeping with them?
As to wearing a condom, what kind of skanky ho doesn’t ask someone she’s randomly screwing to wear a condom? WTF is that? There are other things to catch than AIDS, you know.
He should have worn a condom. But more than that, since she knew he wasn’t going to, she should have informed him that when he put his penis into her, it might explode.
I think it’s perfectly fine to prosecute someone with a deadly, communicable illness for transferring that illness to an unsuspecting person, no matter how much of an idiot that other person is.
Sonomal, I appreciate the time, intelligence and care you’re putting into this discussion. You’re not ranting and screaming and calling anyone here an idiot. It’s really very nice. Thank you. :)
This is a gray area. I agree, he holds some responsibility for his situation. He should have worn a condom, and if for some reason she didn’t want him to, he should at least have been suspicious that she was trying to get pregnant or something. He was stupid because he was ignorant and he was thinking with the wrong head.
There would be no issue if she didn’t have AIDS. She does. She knew it, therefore she had a moral obligation to tell her partners to wear a condom. Even if she didn’t tell them truly why, she could have made something up – “I’m ovulating”, “It’s just the smart thing to do”, “I prefer to be careful” and any guy might be a bit miffed, but most would understand that she would have to had made this request of anyone else she slept with, so she’s just thinking of safety. If for no other reason, a person in her position, with her mindset and priorities, should have had enough selfishness and self-respect to want to avoid anything else that might happen without a condom. Pregnancy isn’t that great for a recently-established singing career either. I have to expect the clap would be inconvenient on tour also, ya know?
She was the one with the fully-loaded crotchgun. She should have taken extra precautions like any of the millions of other conscientious AIDS sufferers on this planet. The blame, in my opinion, rests much more on her shoulders than it does on his.
Your snakie lets mice ride around on his head? TOO CUTE! Put that on Youtube!
ROFL! I’ll try! I may be too embarrassed for him to do it, but I’ll try! ;)
He sounds like a big softie-snake! Good thing he ‘s got you to feed him, otherwise he’d be one hungry snake!
Some days, I imagine that it is simply time to make the hard decision and systematically test the whole population and make for them an AIDS/HIV colony. 1/3rd of Africa has been wiped clean off the planet by a disease that is still spreading. The Disease is penetrating into Asia, and is projected to kill more Vietnamese than the US and its allies did during nearly a decade of war.
Other days, I look at people like Magic Johnson, Ryan White(now deceased) and others, and say, we would be remiss not to have their spirit in and among us. Their efforts can be positive, their position in our society does not require the solution we found for TB and Leprosy.
This woman’s actions more than make me consider the requirements of some days. My aunt, before she retired, served as a PA for a North Carolina prison. Inmates who tested positive for HIV became permanent wards of the state. Their releases and parole were put on hold forever. The State paid millions of dollars to treat them, but those infected within the prison walls became a secondary death row. She is no better than the prison rapists, who know that their disease is a death sentence, and walk among the prison walls and spread it like some sort of grim reaper. Their attorneys protect them from further sentencing, from extended solitary, from separate quarters, and they sweep through the prisons looking to take their death and give it to other people. This is what she did, ostensibly to people she loved. She took death from inside of her, hid its consequences and she sprayed it around like a perfume she was wearing.
When we look at consequences, when we consider intent, we must paint this picture as darkly as possible. Diseases far worse than AIDS exist even now. Should we set precedent low here, we are asking for the worst to come next.
Several things:
1. If you sleep around long enough (and maybe even not that often) without a condom for protection, you WILL get a sexually transmitted disease. Happens to the best of us.
2. I have never had a man volunteer to use a condom, even if he brought one with him.
3. I don’t believe her story about the doctor. I lived through the early eighties when AIDS developed and I remember how freaked out the doctors were. I had one refuse to perform surgery unless I had an AIDS test.
4. She knew exactly what she was doing and should be tried for attempted murder, even if the man didn’t wear a condom. It’s called personal responsibility. If you have Hepatitis B or C, tuberculosis or some other potentially fatal contagious disease, it’s your responsibility to inform the people who you sleep with, live with, etc. etc. etc. AIDS is not the only condition that kills.
I agree with points 1 and 2. I’m a little less convinced on 3. However I totally disagree with you on 4. This goes back to my first response. We pass the flu, the common cold, strep throat and a myriad of other viruses around, at work, at school, at the grocery store. These kill people all the time, but we don’t prosecute the carriers for it. Where does it stop? Who draws the line?
I don’t think you can compare this to someone spreading the flu. Yes, people go around to work and the grocery store and spread it, but I personally don’t know of a case where someone had the flu and when asked by another if they had the flu they said “no”. Then that person caught the flu from them and may now die from it. The risk of dying from HIV is much higher than the flu virus. It is much more serious and it’s the lying and falsify information by people that make it even more dangerous.
I encourage you to google Charles Mzite. He was found guilty of aggravated assault against four women (the four that came forward). He has known he was HIV positive since the mid 90′s when he was still in Africa (his wife and brother died of AIDS). One of the women in the case had insisted that they both have HIV tests before having unprotected sex in 2001. Mzite never picked up the results because he knew them already, but he told the woman that his test results were negative. According to court records when one of the women told him that she had contracted HIV from him he laughed.
It’s knowing how dangerous this virus really is and the cavalier attitude some people take about it that makes it criminal. Yes people need to do more to protect themselves. However, people have a responsibility to not purposely put others lives at risk. When I had been dating, if I went to a man’s house for dinner and I didn’t ask him if he poisoned my pasta would it be entirely my fault that I died if he had poisoned it? I don’t think so. I think someone could say fairly that I should have been more careful about who I was spending time with, but you can bet that guys ass would be going to jail for a long time.
*clap clap clap clap*
Comparing HIV to the common cold. That’s just BRILLIANT! Your best work yet.
1. I’ve never had a sexually transmitted disease. My wife and I both tested before we had unprotected sex while we were dating and had a talk about making our dating monogamous early and before we both went to get tested. Similar conversations happened in other relationships I had.
2. While I was definitely not some sort of player, I brought condoms with me on the third and fourth dates as some sort of hopeful talisman. A venereal disease was a big worry and fear. Most self-actualized men carry rain coats. Players plan apparently plan on Bankruptcy.
2.1 During an interesting period during my continuing marriage, I wore condoms for a completely different reason. Our chosen birth control was causing other problems so it ended and while we were waiting for the next one to work, condoms were cheaper than kids. Given the choice between no sex and wearing a condom, even married men choose the condom, or I suspect that I need to inspect their man card for suspicious activity.
3. I agree, I think she knew, I think she personally went through some very selfish denial, and she went in knowing she’d take someone else with her and she didn’t give a damn.
4. I agree.
Jason, you are very lucky that you found the woman you did. In my past I have known, and currently know now, several people who screw around behind their significant other or spouse’s back, one who at the present time is busy nailing hookers on the side. (!!!) At one point I had a husband (not for long) who I found out inadvertently was bisexual, something he did not tell me for fear that I would leave him (his fear was realized). In his wake, I was exposed to both AIDS and hepatitis B and C. Sometimes, unfortunately, trust is honestly misplaced by someone believing that their lover is monogamous, even in the face of tests for STD’s.
Approaching 4 years of marriage… I know I’m lucky, but it seems so strange to have so much drama out there….
Isn’t it just fantastic to be out of the dating pool? :D I hear horror stories from my single friends, and all I can say is ‘thank god I’m married”!
I’d do back flips if it wouldn’t interrupt my excellent healing process. Where else can I find a woman who does art for a living, makes cute costumes for a hobby, and was ready to swing a baseball bat when I came home broken from a car accident. I tell you, monogamy is a cool game if you can keep it, and the only game I want to be a player at. In the words of Shakespeare, “get thee a wife,” and if not, “get thee a husband.” This goes for my Gay and Lesbian brothers and sisters out there as well.
The best defense against HIV/AIDS is honorable people doing honorable things, and to that I would love to add Marriage.
What a dishonest, disrespectful “apology” by this lying crack whore. Prosecute her. If I was the guy she infected and apologized to, I’d spit in her face.
Yes, the guy should have put a sock over it. I get that. I’ve known men who boinked needy, crazy, obviously unstable women, forswearing a condom because “it’s up to her,” “I hate those things,” “I can’t deal with those things,” whatever, and then lo and behold, Crazyneedybitch turned up pregnant and the guy was in shit up to his ears. Short term pleasure, long term pain in the ass.
But, I lay 95% of the blame on The crack whore. She is still one in spirit and will always be one. That HIV activists are rallying around her is disgraceful. We live in an upsidedown world.
Thanks for the story, Max, soooo well written as usual :-)
I remember when this story was huge in Germany back then. Funny enough, THEY never mentioned any blood transfusion. She was 16 when she got it and she never said a word to the German press about how she got infected. The German “Morgenpost” newspaper claims she even said in an interview she did not know how she got it. (come on, there were regular HIV tests on blood transfusions in German hospitals from the mid 80s onwards, too!!!)
Also, they claim that the band members were made aware of her being HIV positive as she felt she could confide in them.
She is now stating that she was blackmailed her HIV infection would be made public in a well-known German newpaper (assuming it was the guy who later sued her).
So she is a victim herself..still so selfish to make other people go through the same! If she could be honest with her bandmates, how come she didnt at least insist on some protection?!?! I am still trying to figure out whether it is stupidity or complete non-chalance when it comes to other people’s lives and futures.
Obviously morally, yes anyone male or female would think you would tell your partner that you are infected with HIV. BOTH consenting adults should take responsibility.
I’m not trying to ride the fence here but what she did was not right, but did she do it with criminal intent? Did she purposely infect some one for some kind of sick revenge? Are we sure of that? If so off to jail you go. It doesn’t appear she acted with criminal intent unless I missed something but maybe we will really never know.
Just not 100% sure on this. I guess I should try to think how would I feel if this had happened to me. Then it boils down to always look out for number 1…..you! Wear the condom, or better yet get a partner and stick with them. I could not even imagine what it must be like running around with multiple partners these days. Nowadays you’ll get something on you Ajax want take off!
She didn’t plot to kill people with her poon, that’s obvious to me, so this is not premeditated attempted murder. It’s criminal negligence, however.
They’re both idiots. She’s the bigger, more responsible one in this case. IMO, anyway.
The sad fact of life is that there are many people just like this out there that do not care about what happens to their partners or significant others as long as they get theirs.
My neighbor was a great mother and good wife and she got herpes from her husband who was fooling around on her. She stayed with him because she felt that no one else would want her because she was “damaged goods.”
These people, just like Nadja Benaissa, have a plethora of options available to them that will ensure that they don’t pass their diseases on to others but choose not use them because its not as convenient as doing whatever is good for them. I can think of 10 different things off the top of my head that she could have done that would have produced the desired result and not endangered other people.
Hopefully, the fact that she is a celebrity and this case is so public will encourage people to insist on STD testing and using better judgment with regards to safe sex.
This whole subject is sooo depressing. Thank God I grew up in the days when everything was curable with penicillin and no one knew about genital warts, herpes and AIDS. Hell, I had a roomate once (a guy who went on to become an OB-GYN) who was such a slut he had a standing appointment at the end of each month for a series of shots to kill whatever he picked up in the previous month’s whoring around.
Wow she’s a fucked up selfish bitch. I could understand if she never knew she had HIV, but she knew she had it. No excuse. Plain and simple. Fucked up.
I read about this on another blog a few days back, and my opinion hasn’t changed since then: There is no excuse for her actions. Knowingly having unprotected sex when you’re HIV positive is selfish and callous, showing little disregard for the health and safety of your partners. Regardless of her reasons for doing it, it was wrong and she deserves to go to prison for negligence.
OK the trial is over and this bitch got probation and community service. THAT IS IT! She murdered people with her silence. She condemed them to a very hard death. All she gets is probation? She shed a few tears during the trial and said a sweet little “I’m sorry” and all is good?
Her career is not over. The band have plans for a new CD and tour next year. Her fans have forgiven her.
This case sparked a very heated debate between my girl and I. She honestly thinks the punishment was enough if not a little harsh. She says this woman will be known as the woman who fucked some guys to death. I say bullshit as the press made her out to be the victim. The press are good at that now arn’t they?
My arguments are rock solid and not based on a very loose theory. She knew she has the virus. She knew that it can be transmitted through sex. She spread her legs and kept her mouth shut. THAT is premeditated murder. Nothing else. That carries a sentence of 15-25 years here in Germany. Instead she got a slap on the wrist, told she was a bad girl and sent on her way.
Anyone who thinks she doesn’t deserve more please line up to fuck this cunt. Please do. Better yet send up your broth or sister, maybe your best friend on the whole world?
Yah I thought so.
My daughter loved the band and when this crap came out she took down all the posters she had and all the CD’s and threw them in the trash. So if you don’t think this cunt needs to fry then be my guest to tell my daughter. She’ll tell you to go to hell. I’ll tell you to go fuck this cunt without a rubber.
Here in Canada Apay Agouk, a 26 year old Sudanese immigrant, infected at least two women with HIV. Like Nadja, he knew he had HIV when he had unprotected sex. He is facing two counts of aggravated assault and if he’s convicted he could be sentenced to a maximum of life in prison (25 years before a chance of parole). Agouk’s irresponsible actions were the same as Nadja’s, but I hope he will be shown much less leniency than she got.
Fuck that, she took someones life away. All she gets is a suspended sentence an community service????? That’s appalling! She played God, and has no right to make that sort of decision, no matter what her excuse is! She should have been charged with attempted murder! And I would be satisfied with a 15 years prison sentence… If it was my son she infected, I would have killed the bitch.
WOW GUYS!! I love the debate this is sparking..with exception of a few posters this is been real intelligent convo! I will put in my two cents tho..and I am in the minority. Yes this bitch deserves hell but I’m not in on this whole.”that poor man parade” Sorry personal responsibilty is key here. If they were married and he had reason to trust her then I could feel bad for him..but if she was just a girlfriend or some casual booty call? Then I’m sorry sir you played russian roulette and lost. But that DOES NOT take away from the fact that this bitch is dead ass wrong and I’m not defending her! That is all..carry on lol
I find the “Ya go to the Walmart n pick up the flu, but they don’t charge the checker with murder for giving it to ya!” argument a bit obtuse, no offense. Simply put, a vagina is not a grocery store. I mean, I walk into Safeway and I grab a cart and a handful of safety wipes and I go to town on that cart handle before I tough it… why? Well, because I know it’s dirty as a shitcookie. Why do I know this? Well, you say common sense, but in actuality, it’s the big sign right inside the door that screeeches “BEWARE of Flu Season…Use Wipes!” Ten years ago stores didn’t offer this protection and I certainly never thought of it on my stupid own. But when that first sign went up, when They informed Me, well shit, my OCD found a whole new crazed regimen to preform when out in public. Anyways, my long-winded point is that a vagina is not a supercenter. It is not a public place, where in spite of a screaming sign and handiwipes, everybody knows that @ any point in time a rogue toddler can sneeze while passing your cart and next thing you know you have 5ths disease. A vagina on the other hand, is attached to a person generally, and that person (if infected with a life threatening disease) has as much if not more of a responsibility to say “Hey, ya’ll can jump in the pool, but I’m brewing something Deadly in my pants, so ya likely won’t make it out alive.” Sure, he shoulda wrapped it, however I’m sure that on some basic human level, he trusted her. Yes, obviously stupid, in hindsight, however it’s someplace I think we have all been if we are being honest adults. I bet she didn’t even offer him a wipey. =( Most Foul!
“Simply put, a vagina is not a grocery store.”
XD
Damn, I was THIS close to ruining my laptop. :-)
This bitch deserves hell totally. And that sentence was WAY too short. In my opinion, we need a special category of crime for this instance. AIDS and HIV are two deadly diseases and frankly I think the advocates should think less about their selfishness, and more about how to keep the public informed, putting in efforts to cure the disease, as WELL AS ENCOURAGING RESPONSIBLE COMMUNICATION TO AVOID NEEDLESSLY SPREADING IT. I think they have just leaped too high up on their high horses, and I think they’d secretly want to see the world with AIDS so they can get over their indulgences of self-pity!
I love these feminist idiots that are all talking about how “It’s the man’s fault he got AIDS” (notice how it’s all a few select women saying this). Would you guys really say the same if it was a man who didn’t tell his girl that he was infected and pumped her full of HIV?
Probably not. That’s right, suck it hypocrites.
This case is a gentle reminder to everyone; that the HIV virus can lurk in anyone and always use precautions when handling body fluids. I feel what she did was selfish and stupid. My condolence goes to her partner that contacted the virus from her. I do not think she deserves hell per se because I don’t believe she intentionally gave this man her virus. But; at the same time there is a man out there that is forever imprisoned, so I feel she has to do a little more than 300 hrs. of community service to make up for her transgression.
Death by strangulation.
I said no to this one. Yeah, she was vile, selfish & all of the other adjectives you can think of. But it was equally the fault of the men with whom she had sex for not being safe. It’s the same thing as blaming one partner for an unwanted pregnancy. It’s a crock of shit.
But she knew. She knew she was a carrier.
She could have told them a clever story.
Hey babe, I do not allow sex without a raincoat. It’s as much for you as it is for me. You have to wear one.
I felt compelled to post this here. If there is a better place for it Admin, Max, please feel free to move it. I was following a deep moral compulsion and I simply couldn’t help myself. I’m certain you’ll understand and agree once you see it:
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Thank you.
VCBecky
I…. AM…. INTERTRONZWIN!!!
I believe that was the effect you were looking for Becky. It’s a pain in the ass to insert photos in WordPress if you’ve never done it before, and they don’t even provide a way to do it with comments. This is the result of something I figured out on my own, so I could post pictures of Sniper Kitty when he was needed – LOL
…BAHAHAH!
A link would have been acceptable, but this is muuuuuch better! THANK YOU MAX! I see you agree with my assertation that it’s just too appropriate to leave unposted. Haw!
Absolutely Beck. A a matter of fact, I would have included it in my story if I’d found it first.
You’re fucking hysterical vcbecky!!! Great pic
ROFL! Nomnomnomnom! I’m such a child. ;)
“I love these feminist idiots that are all talking about how “It’s the man’s fault he got AIDS” (notice how it’s all a few select women saying this). Would you guys really say the same if it was a man who didn’t tell his girl that he was infected and pumped her full of HIV?”
I struggle with the concept, that while I thing this woman did indeed bear the lion’s share of the problem, that your deprecations against all feminists, your assumptions that, that is why they are questioning the men’s responsibility to their partners, and the insulting way you do it all makes you so wrong, and me by association feel wrong.
While I agree feminism has overstepped its place in quite a few places, I do not think in the measure of male contraception use, in the extension and proper prosecution of rape and other crimes against women(including date rape, rape by coercion, most sexual harassment cases before 1986, and probably most now, college rape rates going down and glass ceiling after glass ceiling being demolished). I’m married to a woman who glows with the accomplishments that modern feminism has granted her. She works a formerly “man’s” job, with a “man’s” wages, and benefits. Her marital status did not result in her instant firing. Her boss attended our wedding, and he to my knowledge has made no offers or request for sexual impropriety–and my wife has no reason to keep those from me.
Frankly, it’s not feminism that’s the problem here. Several people were stupid about sex. They’ve only been showing that Navy video about wearing condoms for about 60 years now. Something should have soaked in.
Something should soak into your skull to. Feminism was not some sort of plot to make you weaker or less of a man. You chose to be a weaker and lesser man. Live with your choices.
Oh, it’ just another dirty n@#$%r Ooops excuse me Dirty half N@#$r! You know all they do is lie and trick innocent Europeans into bed! You just cant trust those mulattoes! Hey why aren’t all you tea-baggers in D.C?
Why look what we got here. A wouldbe badass just scared to death of the mean ol’ Big Bad Teaparty.
BTW, non believer? (ooh, what an impressive nym). Like most racists, or people-who-pretend-to-be-racist-so-they-can-cause-a-ruckus-and-get-attention, you are ignorant. You call Benaissa a n***** meaning you think she’s of African descent. Guess what stupid? Many southern Germans have dark skin and hair and African looking features. The female boxer who fought Hilary Swank in Million $ Baby looks African but is as German as you can get. My parents lived in Germany for 2 years and met plenty of dark skinned, dark haired Germans in the south.
So she may be German, in which case you can now wear a great big sign saying I AM SO FUCKING IGNORANT. Or, who knows, she may have African blood in her veins — not that that makes any difference — in which cause your sign can say I AM SO FUCKING IGNORANT, AND I’M A RACIST, AND I’M A PATHETIC SPIT-FUCK FOR THINKING RACIST JOKES ARE FUNNY.
Now go back to carving your initials in the wooden picnic benches at the park where you play. Maybe that’ll make you feel like a tough guy.
non-believer, you got me cold. I don’t know how you did it, but you figured out what my real motivations were for writing this story. I WAS more offended that Nadja was mixed race and having sex with white men – The fact that she was was HIV+ and having unsafe sex without regards to the consequences had very little to do with it.
My story would have been a lot more thorough if I didn’t have to pack up for the drive down to DC to see Glenn Beck reclaim the civil rights movement for the white man. Black folks have all the civil rights they need, and now it’s whitey’s turn. Because you know there are plenty of white folks who are denied their basic civil rights of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, as Black people were before the civil rights movement of the 1960′s. Millions of white people are unable to vote, and a Black man can kill a white man anytime without fear of prison. White people live in fear of the NAACP coming into their home at night and dragging out one of their loved ones, never to be seen again, or worse, to be found hanging from the nearest tree. Glenn Beck, the Martin Luther King of the white man. It’s no coincidence that he picked the anniversary of Dr. King’s “I Have A Dream ” speech to hold his little shindig, because Glenn is a channel for Dr. King’s spirit.
Did I say channel? I meant to say ANTITHESIS – Glenn Beck is the antithesis of Martin Luther King’s spirit.
Glenn Beck will be lucky if he doesn’t re-enact the ‘Balcony scene’ part of Dr. King’s life.
I call the James Earl Ray part then.
That there Beck feller ain’t right.
Careful there my friend. I’d have to go into a political rant for why he took the perfect opportunity to get some centrist thinking members from the Right to take over that party and produce a series of compromises that would have helped the Good Ole USA stand back up and start busting out the good ole times.
Instead, I call this woman, regardless of race, a scared, and selfish woman who turned herself into a death trap for people she ostensibly should have loved.
Um non-believer, I am often the last person to deny double standards in regards to race and sex. I often take issue with these very things myself. There could perhaps be a double standard fishing around somewhere since she is half Moroccan/Roma(being a member of two despised groups in Europe along with having actual or close recent immigrant status can’t very well help her cause), but you know what, even that being the case, that argument is only so deep here to me-and I “am” black and female to boot. Why do I feel this way! This really, in my opinion seems to be one of those cases where the person is wrong regardless of societal injustice, it is one of those arguments where the perp is wrong even if a valid case could be made for some kind of racial, gender,class, etc bias. I admit, I consider in the realm possibility that some bias may be somewhere but really, still and regardless, in my very humble opinion, it is really kind of simple. This female knowingly infected three guys(victims and/or suckers however you look at it) with incurable, painful, and fatal STI’s so she is guilty for negligable homicide and selfishness. I hope this helps but if it makes you feel better, I personally would have issues with her if she was an ordinary white male infecting nonsuspecting women in Morocco or other parts of Africa. Matter of fact, if you can find cases like this elsewhere where the perps are white, male, and ordinary ok. It is fine because I would say something similar in their cases too. Really. I guess it just really is kind of simple to me on this issue because I take issue with people doing this regardless of racial/biracial status, gender, sexual preference, class, religion or immigrant status. I really do. I think people doing things like this have issues regardless of the groups or categories they fall in! Count me critical here.
FUCK YOU NON-BELIEVER! Your racism has no place here. I voted no to the question does she deserve hell, (for the first time ever) and I’ll explain why. I’ve never heard of this singer before and I don’t listen to this kind of music. When I first read this story and voted, I thought that HIV could be successfully treated with a cocktail of drugs that includes AZT. I thought Magic Johnson takes it and he looks well so Nadja Benaissa can afford to pay for the drugs for her victim and he will be well. I thought AIDS was killing so many in Africa because they can’t afford the drugs so their HIV was developing into AIDS. Second, the story states, “Nadja Benaissa was addicted to crack cocaine at 14 and living on the street.” So who taught her morals and right from wrong? Don’t we learn this from our parents and church? What if her upbringing did not provide her with morality lessons? So that’s why I voted no. Well, before I decided to post I did a little research because Max the Cat mentioned in the story, “I understand all too well what living with a chronic, fatal, incurable disease does to your peace of mind.” I came across this: http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2006-11-30-magic-aids_x.htm Now that I know that my ideas about HIV and AIDS were wrong can I vote for perpetual purgatory?
I’m not a perfect person. I’ve done things I regret.
When I’m beating myself up over this, I come on PYSIH. If nothing else, Max, your site reminds me that, with all my flaws, at least I’m NOT a monster.
We need social outrage over what, really, are scum in our society. So, thank you Max for this site. If we as a society become numb to people who do horrific things, it would become a Lord of the Flies society.
If someone knowingly infected me or mine with HIV, I’d wish them a life without life-saving drugs.
No one is asking for perfection, but you know that already. ;) We’re just asking for and expecting humans to be human. Perfection is not only a lie, it’s also got to be downright boring! I mean, without imperfection, where would YouTube, Jackass or Congress be?
Sometimes we are inhumane and we hurt eachother. That, to me, is different from being a monster. Monsters intentionally and permanently scar, kill and destroy without real regret or care.
Me LOVE the Jackass!!!!! My favorite show, after Mad Men!!!
This hits a nerve with me. When my father was on hospice, and we were having one of those Conversations, I said to him, “I know there were times when I worried you and Mom. I was all about ‘me,’ and wanting to do things my way. Let’s make a deal. I’ll stop beating myself up, if you promise to not beat yourself up anymore.” My Dad felt guilt at times that he’d been cold, that he hadn’t been there for me, whatever . . . .
Talking openly to the person you’ve wronged, or that you worry you’ve wronged, helps. To this day when I start feeling un productive guilt, I remember giving Dad my word, and it helps. And I expect him to keep his word, and not plunge into a morass of guilt for whatever he didn or didn’t do. Someday, I hope, we can talk about it again, face to face.
So what I’m trying to get at, is what Becky said: We don’t ask for perfection. But here at this website, we try. I feel full confidence that the posters here do their best, or try to, every day. Others, well . . . They do indeed, some of them, “scar, kill, and destroy without real regret or care.” And they are monsters.
(I rhymed! “In their way, every day” Gosh! Those Jamaican Sunsets, they make you a poet).
precisely! E! I picked the moniker wondermom for that very same reason. i am no where near perfect, but compared to some of these selfish twats (in this case, literally!!) i am a Wondermom, warts and undone laundry and all! I think the same goes for most of the regulars here, in that anyone of us would put the life of our child or any child before our own. While this site has showed me the truly grievous nature of humanity by the subjects of the stories, the people who post on here have reaffirmed that there are others out there who are as enraged, appalled and offended by these scum. PYSIH’s terrifying stories are balanced in my mind by the number of honestly genuinely Good Folks who post here. Sorry for the babble guys, I just love ya…. except for you, Non-Believer. You are a useless bag of flesh. Please go blow yourself!
This bitch and the AIDS action groups all deserve to burn in hell – ALL OF THEM who “feel” that she was being stigmatized.
If I shoot a bunch of people because they are ugky, will the NRA come to my defense? If I run over a bunch of pedestrians, will the AAA come to my defense?
AIDS is a deadly MEDICAL probloem that can be contained / made less of a threat through certain social policies, but when someone carrying HIV decides not to abide by such social policies, then it becomes (or should) a criminal matter.
These AIDS groups should also be held responsible – as they condone such irresponsible behavior by trviailizing a criminal matter; by saying it’s a social issue when one.
Drinking is a social thing and so is not driving, but the two do NOT mix.
There are other ways she could have handled this
1. Tell them
2. Insist on a condom – saying one can never be too careful
3. Claim that she is a Christain – and she’s saving herself
#2 and #3 would have been responsible, not truthful, but responsible.
Mr. Smith was a dummy for not strapping on. However, this chick, I believe, is even more responsible for the lifetime damage he will be going through.
If I am a landlord, renting out an apartment and I have some type of damage in that home, I am obligated to tell you.
As a Mother, if I am in a relationship with a guy, and I have a child, it would be the moral thing to do and tell the other person.
If I had HIV/AIDS, and I wanted sex, (as low as I would feel), I would still tell them. Nothing is 100%. Not even DNA. So, why the fuck take the chance?
The guy is not at fault here. No fault at all. This cunt wanted to screw. What guy would say no to a rich semi famous woman anyway? She spread her legs with no regard to him or anyone else except her band and the future money she made.
She should be hung from the neck until dead and her body left to rot in public.
What human would screw a famous musician without a condom? Is there a single person on this planet who believes all touring musicians are always careful? Are guys stupid enough to think that women aren’t just as promiscuous as men when they’re on tour, especially if they’re single, especially nowadays?
Most men I know treasure their “‘lil basset hound in a turtle neck” enough to not allow anything to live there uninvited. This is 2010. There are plenty of fish in the sea, but the seas are polluted and everyone knows it. Only dumbasses skin-dive with someone they barely know.
She’s a terrible, vicious cunt and she needs to pay for what she did. She does own the vast majority of the blame, but can you really look at this and tell yourself he did nothing wrong at all? I certainly don’t believe he should die from lack of a Trojan, but is he really totally innocent?
Becky, to answer your first question, here are a couple of suggestions:
One who is horny enough to have have a small – yet significant enough – amount of blood sent downwards to make that lil’ basset grow, instead of continuing upwards to waste all those pesky little molecules of oxygen on that useless little grey thing floating between the ears, and one arrogant enough to believe himself somehow so important in the greater scheme of things that the rules of the universe don’t apply to him.
One who would reply to your post in the following manner: Hey, Becky, you (insert intellectually lacking and sexist insult here), what guy would ever let a lack of condoms getting in the way of getting laid with some famous chick? I mean, think about it, what idiot would say, “guys, you’ll never believe this, I had a chance to shove my lil’ basset way past his turtleneck into (insert name of celebrity here)’s tunnel of love, but fuck, I didn’t have my rubber savior on me, so I said no” and miss out on all those envious looks and slaps on the back? Not to mention all the fame and money that inevitable internet video would spawn. If you were a guy, would you deny yourself the immense pleasure, honor and gratification of sitting alone in your room, wearing nothing but the same underwear you had on the night you got laid, seeing your basset in low-resolution full swing on the computer screen and screaming at your greasy image, “Yeah, baby, yeah, that’s my little weiner right there!!! Woooo!!!! I have a penis! I have a penis!!!!”?
One who has a death-wish.
One who is in love (possibly for all the wrong reasons, but anyway) and somehow manages to convince himself (or herself, if the gender roles are reversed) that having unprotected sex just once, or with just one partner, means that the odds are still in his favor.
I could probably think of a few more, but you get the point. People are still ignorant about the risks when it comes to sex, and for certain individuals, fame really is an aphrodisiac, and if they get the chance to ride the rodeo with a celebrity, nothing else matters.
Regarding her guilt, there is no doubt. As for his, if he was only looking for a fuck-session with a babe, then sure, he needs to share the blame. But if he was truly in love, and she let him believe he could trust her and that she loved him right back, then I say that selfish bitch should burn all alone in the deepest bowels of hell.
Her legs should have the words “The Gates of Hell” tatooed on them.
At this point I would not allow any of my drill attachments near her – who knows what else she has. AIDS is bad enough, but add Herpies or Crabs and one would be tormented just waiting for death’s mercy.
LOL! She does strike me as a sort of “Infectious Gash Bio-dome”. I wonder if she;s discovered/cultivated any new species lately?
In all fairness, I’d like to point out that do to people’s anatomy, it’s less likely for a man to get infected from a woman than it is for the other way around.
That said, the man Nadja Benaissa infected ought to sue her and clean her out. I don’t know about hell, but I think she deserves to be pilloried and bankrupted.
Enjoy your premature death, you pathetic selfish cunt.
Well, this is what can happen in an era of casual sex. Obviously what she did is wrong but in the realm of wrongness compared to a child murderer or something, it’s not that horrible. You have to take on some responsibility when you choose to have unprotected sex (or for that matter, protected). I’m not blaming the victim, but never trust anyone. Hell, forget about the fact that may they might not even know. She’s very pretty, and for the record her background is Morrocan/Serbian/German.
i dont know where the author of this story got his/her information from but most of the information is just wrong. even the part about how she became famous is wrong. first of all before the tv show that made her and the band famous there was no band at all, it wasnt a talent show for girl bands. the second thing is that it wasnt known to the public that she had hiv before this story came out so how can you say these 2 guys went to the police to report her after it was made public that she had hiv if it wasnt public at the time these 2 guys reported her?! if you dont get the most basic facts straight, how can i be sure that the rest of the story is right?! there is so many incorrect information in this single story that i really have to question this whole webpage and the information on it.
What ARE you talking about mary? I never said the contest was a talent show for girl bands. Secondly, her victim, DID find out after her HIV status was made public. His mother was the first to hear it, and she informed him. This was widely reported by just about every new source I looked at. The men she had relationships never reported her – how could they, since they were never aware she was HIV positive?
I don’t know what your problem is, or where you got your information on this story, but go check it out again, and then come back here and apologize for accusing me of writing a story full of fallacies.
mary….can you read? this is a serious question i’m asking, because you obviously don’t have reading comprehension skills if that’s what you got out of this article.
to the lady that is saying this is no different than giving a cold to a stranger/co-worker, HAVE YOU EVER HAD HIV/AIDS?! That is seriously one of the biggest understatements I’ve ever heard. There is no way that a cold, flu, or whatever can cause someone a lifetime of taking expensive drugs that keep you functioning like a normal person, or stigmatize you and pretty much crush your sex life, like HIV/AIDS does.
yes, you can give a cold to a stranger by being n the same room as them. they aren’t at fault for that. but bringing someone into bed with you to dive into your pit of doom? That’s just negligence right there, no questions asked. And let’s be honest, yes the guy is a dope for not using protection, but he also got ASSURANCE that she was clean.
Whoever informed you she got HIV from a transfusion is misguided. She got it from being a drug addicted crack whore.