Regardless of what you may think you see before you, this is not Boss Hogg.

This is 45-year-old Suzette Stevenson, the larger half of a lesbian life-partner pair.

Now, many people have pretty strong opinions on whether homosexual couples should be able to adopt and raise children or not.

Some people think homosexuals are evil. Other people think homosexuals are just like other folks, except that they make excellent espresso and great pancakes.

Although the possibility exists that they do make decent pancakes, the world can now be certain that Suzette Stevenson and Jamie Lynn Martin are really bad parents.

For a while, Suzette Stevenson and Jamie Lynn Martin were taking care of a boy together.

Well.

This is pretty sick.

19-year-old Lauren Gash wanted a baby. She wanted one really, really bad.

She wanted a baby so bad that she told everyone that she was pregnant, that the dad had run out on her. As proof, she had sonogram pictures with her name in the corner.

To celebrate the imminent arrival of Lauren’s fictitious baby, her family threw her a baby shower.

Now she HAD to have a baby, and soon.

Why she couldn’t get one the old-fashioned way, I don’t know. She had posted online that she had been diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome. Maybe she was worried about that.

Maybe it was just that nobody would touch her, but I doubt it.

Thomas Toolan III, convicted of the stabbing murder of his ex-girlfriend, Elizabeth Lochtefeld, has a drinking problem.

Life in prison would mean this drinking problem of Toolan’s would be solved.

Try to look on the positive side, Mr. Thomas Toolan III.

No more convenient blackouts when you do something wrong.

No more getting fired from jobs like a Vice-President of Citibank.

After meeting on Labor Day back in 2004, Toolan and Lochtefeld had the kind of nice six-week romance that only the rich can really have. Everything was great until Toolan wanted to make Elizabeth Lochtefeld into Elizabeth Toolan.

She declined and broke up with him.