Category Archives: People You’ll See In Hell

Bowe Bergdahl

Sgt Bowe BergdahlThis is 28-year-old Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl.

Bowe Bergdahl had a variety of interests before joining the U.S. Army. Mr. Bergdahl tried out fencing and martial arts for a while before trying out ballet classes at the Sun Valley Ballet School in Ketchum, Idaho. He never owned a car, he just rode a bicycle wherever he had to go.

Interestingly, Mr. Bergdahl, who seems to have had quite an identity crisis growing up in Idaho, spent time in a Buddhist monastery between 2007 and 2008.

Somehow, he got it in his head to join the military. Showing a bit of trepidation about what he might actually be doing “over there,” Bowe Bergdahl told a friend:

If this deployment is lame, I’m just going to walk off into the mountains of Pakistan.

Well ok then.

While stationed in Afghanistan, P1C Bergdahl was viewed as a strange guy, a loner who wouldn’t really talk or hang out with the other men in his unit. Instead, he stayed in his bunk, learning Pashto and Arabic with Rosetta Stone.

On June 27, 2009, P1C. Bowe Bergdahl sent a final e-mail to his parents. It read, in part:

The future is too good to waste on lies. And life is way too short to care for the damnation of others, as well as to spend it helping fools with their ideas that are wrong. I have seen their ideas and I am ashamed to even be american. The horror of the self-righteous arrogance that they thrive in. It is all revolting.

In the US army you are cut down for being honest… but if you are a conceited brown nosing shit bag you will be allowed to do what ever you want, and you will be handed your higher rank… The system is wrong. I am ashamed to be an american. And the title of US soldier is just the lie of fools…I am sorry for everything here. These people need help, yet what they get is the most conceited country in the world telling them that they are nothing and that they are stupid, that they have no idea how to live. We don’t even care when we hear each other talk about running their children down in the dirt streets with our armored trucks… We make fun of them in front of their faces, and laugh at them for not understanding we are insulting them…I am sorry for everything. The horror that is america is disgusting…There are a few more boxes coming to you guys. Feel free to open them, and use them.

With that, P1C Bowe Bergdahl left his equipment on his bunk and walked off into the Afghanistan countryside with a compass, a knife, some water, a camera and a diary. He had mailed his other stuff to his parents a few weeks prior, including an Apple laptop.

In hindsight, his fellow soldiers said it was obvious that Bowe Bergdahl was planning on leaving. At the time, they treated the situation like he’d been captured. Rescue units were scrambled and between 6-8 lives were lost in the search for Mr. Bergdahl, who, it would turn out, the Army investigation decided had deserted.

Former Army Sgt. Evan Buetow, the team leader the night of Bergdahl’s disappearance, told news reporters that the Army intercepted radio and cellphone conversations from a nearby village that described an American soldier who wanted to talk to the Taliban.

According to another soldier who was at the base at the time:

We had all known that he had deserted his post and there was never anything about him getting captured or a POW until a little while later when it came down from the chain-of-command that we needed to keep quiet about it, not say anything and that we’re going with the narrative that he’s captured.

Whenever he went and walked off the base, only stuff that we know, that we trained for, that the sports that we know on vehicles, how are moves are, stuff like that, they were getting hit very precisely. And the ambushes we used, the certain tactics that we used, the Taliban was picking up on those things and the Haqqani network started using the same things as well. So they were very precise and very accurate. You could tell it was somebody on the inside that had that info.

Bowe Bergdahl was promoted to sergeant on the 17th of June, 2011.

On the 31st of May, 2014, Bergdahl was released by his captors and recovered by U.S. special operations forces in eastern Afghanistan. The release was brokered by the American, Qatar, and Afghanistan governments with the Taliban, in exchange for five Guantanamo Bay detainees transferred to Qatari custody for at least one year.

Nebraska’s own Chuck Hagel, who will support whoever is paying him at the time, has announced that he thinks leaping to conclusions about Bowe’s behavior isn’t fair. Just because it looks like Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl was a traitor who, it seemed, was trying to join up with a bunch of primitive sheep and boy lovers, we shouldn’t leap to conclusions.

Yeah, we definitely don’t want to leap to conclusions.

According to Hagel:

We don’t do that in the United States. We rely on facts. I don’t know of any circumstances or details of U.S. soldiers dying as a result of efforts to get Bergdahl.

Five terrorists released back into the wild. 1 terrorist brought back home. Several soldiers dead in the search for what appears to be a traitor.

Because the Army never filled out paperwork to classify Bowe Bergdahl as a deserter, he will receive back pay and benefits. The Army will undoubtedly give Sgt. Bergdahl about 5 years worth of back pay. It should be a nice check. Maybe now he can get a nicer bicycle.

Latasha Wilson

Latasha WilsonThis is 19-year-old Latasha Wilson.

Latasha works at Wal-Mart, a company that is famous for the quality of the Chinese merchandise they stock on their shelves and the dedication they have towards their employees’ well-being.

On the 29th of January, 2014, Latasha Wilson took a long, unauthorized break from work.

During this 3-hour break, which she spent in the restroom of the Wal-Mart, Latasha gave birth to a baby boy.

The little boy was born alive, but did not stay that way. The baby was left in the Wal-Mart toilet for a bit too long, breathed toilet water into its lungs and drowned.

Zakary CarterHer 3-hour break over with, Latasha Wilson wrapped her baby in some paper towels, left the restroom and put the package into her work locker.

Later, Latasha and her baby’s daddy, 20-year-old Zakary Carter, decided that the right thing to do would be to take the now-corpse of this baby, dump it in a cave (there are lots of caves in Missouri) and set it on fire.

Latasha Carter has been charged with 2nd-degree murder. Zakary Carter has been charged with tampering with evidence.

Vincent Parker

Vincent ParkerThis is Vincent Parker, a 16-year-old 10th grader living with his parents in Norfolk, Virginia.

Vincent was only two years away from joining the rest of society as a full-fledged adult when he ruthlessly beat his parents to death with a baseball bat.

On the 19th of December, 2013, Vincent Parker left school early and surprised his mother with a dose of pepper spray to the face as she was coming out of the bathroom. Once she was blinded, Vincent stabbed his mother in the eye and then proceeded to beat her to death. A fickle child, he alternated between hitting his mother with a crowbar and a metal baseball bat.

According to a medical examination, 57-year-old Carol Parker had about 25 separate stabs and/or impact spots to her head, face and neck. Although the face is part of the head, so maybe just to the head and neck. And necks are hard to differentiate from heads sometimes, so maybe just to the head.

Anyway, he beat his mother to death.

When Vincent’s father, 55-year-old Wayne Parker, returned home from work, Vincent attacked his father as well. There was some stabbing, some beating, and in the end, after 911 was called and Wayne was transported to the hospital, where he later died.

The police questioned Vincent, who originally said that his father was the one who assaulted the rest of the family. The lies didn’t hold up, however, and Vincent eventually confessed.

Vincent Parker decided to go with a “guilty” plea to his dual charges of second degree murder.

His reasoning behind the brutal assaults and murders?

‘I just remember getting mad,’ Parker told the court. ‘It’s all from my dad. All this stuff like my dad taking away my iPod and stuff.’

He was charged as an adult and will be sentenced in September.

The District Attorney is asking that at least part of Vincent’s sentence be served at a juvenile facility.

Michael Gagnon

Michael GagnonOn December 30th, 2007, 24-year-old Michael Gagnon, a construction worker, almost single-handedly wiped out a family heading home to their residence in Maryland after spending Christmas with family and friends in Michigan.

After drinking himself into a stuporous 0.254 blood alcohol level, Michael Gagnon left the party at the Rodeo Bar and Grill, for no good reason.

His family had three rooms rented at the Holiday Inn that the Rodeo Bar and Grill shares a parking lot with, and he could have stayed there quite easily.

But Michael Gagnon really wanted some Taco Bell.

route michael gagnon took to Taco BellSo, despite the fact that there were designated drivers at the party, such as his pregnant sister, he left the party to go and get it, hopping into his brother’s black 2005 Ford F350 pickup truck that they used for construction work and heading on down the road to the nearest Taco Bell.

You have to be pretty drunk when people working at Taco Bell notice that you’re too plastered to drive, but that’s exactly what happened as Michael Gagnon drove through the drive-through.

If you click over to the right a little, you can listen to the 911 phone calls made by a few of Michael Gagnon’s fans that night.

What would have been an easy drive for a sober man was made extraordinarily complicated by Michael Gagnon’s drunkenness.

Only Michael Gagnon knows what was going through Michael Gagnon’s head at the time, but he missed the turnoff for the interstate to head back to the party and continued along until he saw, swerved towards and drove onto the wrong on-ramp – a maneuver that makes perfect sense when you’re sitting at a blood alcohol level three times the legal limit.

He might even have gotten away with the maneuver if the on-ramp that he drove onto wasn’t, in fact, an off-ramp.

Michael Gagnon drove about four miles down the wrong way on the highway before he smashed into the 1999 Chevrolet Astro minivan that 36-year-old Daniel G. Griffin Jr. was driving his family home in.

Car seat smashedThis photo pretty much explains what happened.

Michael Gagnon’s brother, Samuel Gagnon, whose MySpace profile can be found here, felt something was wrong and called Michael Gagnon’s cell phone. Michael answered the phone and said, “Sorry, bro.”


Eyewitness accounts say that both drivers tried to avoid a head-on collision, but that the passenger door was basically ripped off it’s hinges as the full-size Ford pickup truck ran into the minivan.

Griffin Family MinivanAs the minivan was ripped open, an assortment of stuffed animals, toys, luggage, gift wrap and baby blankets flew over the highway, along with several of the children who were riding in the minivan.

The injuries were pretty much what you would expect. Broken bones. Massive head trauma. Death.

Less than 10 minutes after Michael Gagnon left his little party, he had managed to kill the voting majority of a large, happy family.

What makes it worse is that when police arrived, Michael Gagnon was belligerent and completely uncooperative, fighting with the paramedics who were trying to treat him and screaming at the firemen who pulled him out of his brother’s truck.

The only remotely positive bit of information I can find about this incident is that it happened at a time of night when most of the kids would have been asleep.

Who did Michael Gagnon murder?

Griffin and Burkman familyWell, mom Bethany Griffin died. She was 36. Her MySpace page can be found here. 10-year-old Jordan Griffin died too, along with 8-week-old Vadie Griffin. 10-year-old Haley Burkman and 7-year-old Lacie Burkman, Danny Griffin Jr’s stepdaughters, were also killed.

Danny Griffin Jr. survived, although I’m sure he’s none too happy about that.

Michael Gagnon? He’s fine – just had a minor jaw injury, five counts of aggravated vehicular homicide and a $1.25 million bail. Don’t worry about him.

Jeanette Hawes

Jeanette Hawes is sad.

She has any number of reasons to be sad.

One reason she’s sad might be that her brother’s pit bull was killed.

If you’ll take a look at this story here, Jeanette Hawes in Augusta, Georgia tells the press that her neighbor didn’t have to stab her brother’s dog.

She didn’t have to go that far. She could’ve ran and called police, got help, or whatever.

I certainly agree, Jeanette Hawes.

(For posterity’s sake, and just in case the story gets lost or misplaced somehow, we’re going to copy and paste the story containing the mention of Jeanette Hawes – please forgive us, it’ll make sense later)

13-year-old Elijah Hawes was playing with his pit bull Saturday night around 9:00 at his home on Bransford Road. The dog was on a chain in the front yard when the suspect, Ginger Arthurs, was walking by with her chow mix.

“The suspect in this case was walking her dog and at some point her dog broke free and charged the dog that was on the chain, those two dogs started to fight,” Lt. Scott Peebles said.

Both owners tried to pull their dogs away from each other. Investigators said the suspect, Ginger Arthurs then pulled out a pocket knife and stabbed the pit bull a number of times.

“I was just like ‘whatcha stabbing my dog for?’ and my god brother was trying to pull him away from her,” Elijah Hawes said.

Elijah said he was shocked.

“My dog was so hurt he just let loose to the other dog and ran in the yard and died,” Hawes said.

This incident report said Arthurs took her chow dog and ran to her apartment, where she was later taken into custody, and charged with cruelty to animals.

“She didn’t have to go that far. She could’ve ran and called police, got help, or whatever,” Jeanette Hawes said.

Jeanette Hawes said her brother was devastated.

“To actually hear my brother talk about what happened to his dog and it happened right here in front of him,” Hawes said.

Elijah said he hated to see his dog die like that.

“I just can’t see how a person can stab a dog to death. Like she wanted him to die because she kept stabbing him,” Hawes said.

Ok, so stabbing a dog is bad. I get it.

After a fight with her boyfriend on the 29th of November, 2007, Jeanette Hawes took her children – one-year-old Jordon Hawes and three-year-old Shakayla Hawes – with her to a gas station she frequently visited.

She took both children with her into the bathroom, closed and locked the door.

Once the door was locked, Jeanette Hawes pulled out a steak knife and repeatedly stabbed her two children in the chest.

Then she laid down in their pooling blood and waited.

Jordon Hawes died by his mother’s hands on the floor of a gas station bathroom. Shakayla lived a bit longer, but died on the way to the hospital.

According to witnesses, Jeanette didn’t seem bothered by the fact that she’d just wiped out her family.

We seen them take one of the children out covered in a bag… the mother didn’t have any remorse. She wasn’t crying, nothing.

Jeanette Hawes has been charged with two counts of murder and with possession of a knife during the commission of a crime.

Now, answer this, Miss Jeanette Hawes: If it’s not right to stab a dog to death, why is it ok to stab your two children to death?

Yara Belen Perez and Francisco Castaneda

Here’s 25-year-old Yara Belen Perez.

Does she look depressed to you?

When asked by local reporters, a neighbor thought that she looked depressed.

During the weekend I did see her up on the ledge there, and she was just smoking a cigarette and she looked kind of depressed. I didn’t think much of it. It’s just the way she looks.

Yara Perez lived in an apartment with her two daughters, three-year-old Jacqueline Gonzalez and five-year-old Yara.

Also living in the apartment and rounding out this modern-day Brady Bunch was Francisco Castaneda, Yara Perez’s common-law husband and the love of her life, according to Yara’s MySpace page.

Francisco CastanedaBoth Yara Perez and Francisco Castaneda have a history of incidents with family members.

In March of 2004, day-care personnel caring for Yara’s older daughter reported a burn to the girl’s chest. Yara claimed that some hot milk right out of the microwave had spilled onto her daughter and, after an investigation, the burn was ruled accidental.

In October of 2007, Yara was charged with two counts of assault with intent to cause bodily injury. She had bonded out and was waiting to be arraigned in December.

Francisco Castaneda was accused in December of 2005 of beating the crap out of his then common-law wife, punching her repeatedly in the face before police arrived and found her locked in a back bathroom, topless and covered in bruises and cuts.

And, of course, those are only the incidents that were reported to the police.

Another incident was reported to the police on the 19th of November, 2007.

This time, an anonymous call was made to 911. A female caller told the operator that she had seen three-year-old Jacqueline Gonzalez lying on the floor of her parent’s apartment, face up and motionless. She also mentioned that Yara Perez and Francisco Castaneda told her that the child had fallen, but that she was ok.


When the police arrived, Yara and Francisco insisted that they didn’t have a three-year-old, presenting Yara’s five-year-old and telling officers that she was an only child.

Ironically, that was now a partial truth.

Officers went through the apartment, which had a room that was obviously set up for two younger children. Finding no child in the apartment, they moved the search outside the apartment, walking the apartment complex grounds.

Finally the officers checked the family’s gold-colored Dodge Stratus, which was parked right in front of the apartment.

In the trunk, placed in a large plastic tub, was the body of Jacqueline Gonzales.

Yara Perez and Francisco Castaneda were immediately arrested.

During their respective interrogations, each of these fine, upstanding citizens first attempted to tell the authorities that the girl had hurt herself falling down. When that didn’t fly, they both attempted to place the blame for the girl’s death on each other.

An autopsy that was done on the 21st of November showed the world that Jacqueline death was caused by at least one incredibly hard blow to her abdomen, which caused the internal bleeding that finally killed the girl. The evidence showed that the blow was not accidental.

Police spokesman Javier Sambrano told the press:

The injuries that that child received, we feel, were as a result of injuries that were caused by the parents. The type of injuries that the child had were not consistent with a fall.

Both Yara Belen Perez and Francisco Castaneda have been charged with injury to a child resulting in death, which is a first-degree felony.

According to correctional officials, Yara Perez has been placed on suicide watch.

Her other daughter has been placed in foster care.

Suzette Stevenson and Jamie Lynn Martin

Regardless of what you may think you see before you, this is not Boss Hogg.

This is 45-year-old Suzette Stevenson, the larger half of a lesbian life-partner pair.

Now, many people have pretty strong opinions on whether homosexual couples should be able to adopt and raise children or not.

Some people think homosexuals are evil. Other people think homosexuals are just like other folks, except that they make excellent espresso and great pancakes.

Although the possibility exists that they do make decent pancakes, the world can now be certain that Suzette Stevenson and Jamie Lynn Martin are really bad parents.

For a while, Suzette Stevenson and Jamie Lynn Martin were taking care of a boy together.

The boy wasn’t really theirs in any legal sense of the word. They just kind of…well…had him there. Like if you went to the park, found a puppy and took it home.

This kid, who was born in 2000, was taken away from his druggie mother by the court system and given to his father, who gave him to an aunt who was in a lesbian relationship with Suzette Stevenson.

Jamie Lynn MartinThat aunt died and Suzette sort of adopted the child, at one point buying a forged birth certificate and attempting to pass the boy off as her own when she moved to Florida in September of 2005 in order to start a relationship with Jamie Lynn Martin, who she met on the Internet.

She might have been better off using a criminal background check service to check Jamie Martin’s background.

Love makes the world go ’round after all.

Unless, of course, you’re a little seven-year-old boy who is being treated like an animal by two adults who have no business having you in their home – two adults who tie your wrists together and force you to stand for hours, or who burn you with cigarettes, or who force you to drink shampoo.

Unless, of course, you’re a little seven-year-old boy who is kicked out of daycare because he’s so hungry that he steals food from his playmates.

And it’s not like the child’s school teacher would ever notice that he was hungry, because once he was kicked out of the day care, Suzette Stevenson didn’t send him back to school in the fall.

Suzette Stevenson and Jamie Lynn Martin’s lack of parenting skills came to the attention of authorities when, after telling the child that they would take him to Disney World if he was a good boy, they instead drove to a timeshare that was holding an open house and giving away $100 if people would sit through the presentation.

That wouldn’t in and of itself be so bad (although if you’ve been to one of those presentations you might disagree) but after threatening the child with a box cutter and forcing him to take a sleeping pill, the gruesome twosome left the very hungry boy in the car and told him to go to sleep.

Unfortunately for Suzette Stevenson and Jamie Lynn Martin, the boy didn’t go to sleep. He wandered on into the open house and started asking people for food where someone with some sense called the authorities. The police and Social Services showed up and, after interviewing the boy and everyone else involved, decided that Suzette and Jamie Lynn should be in jail for a bit.

Once the pressure was on, Jamie Lynn turned on Suzette, telling the authorities that Stevenson kept the boy out of school because she was afraid that his injuries would be seen and reported. Suzette also turned on Martin, informing the authorities that Jamie Lynn never liked the boy because his biological parents were each from different races.

The child?

For a while, he was in critical condition. He is, however, expected to recover.

According to Baker County Sheriff Joey Dobson:

In my 35 years on the job, I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a child that’s been abused in so many ways he has.

Charles Tyson

The world has a new hero.

That hero is the Honorable Sandra McSorley, a circuit judge down in Florida whose information you can find here.

Please write her a letter, or give her a call. Let her know how you feel about her dealings with Mr. Charles Tyson.

22-year-old Charles Tyson and Shameka Mosley – his baby’s momma – had a fight one day in April of 2006.

During that fight, Charles Tyson tossed his 9-month-old son, Charles Tyson Jr., out of the car window.

While that would be enough for most sensible, sane mothers to take their baby, run and possibly call a SWAT team or two, Shameka Mosley stood there and watched as Charles Tyson grabbed his son by the leg and slammed the infant onto the hood of the car hard enough to dent it.

The car hood, not the baby.

After beating Charles Tyson Jr. against the hood of the car, Charles Tyson Sr. casually tossed his namesake into one of the ubiquitous Florida canals, telling his baby’s momma, “You better go get him before the gators do.”

Well then.

Charles Tyson Jr. died, and Charles Tyson was arrested and charged with first degree murder and aggravated child abuse.

For a while, the prosecutor’s office was making noises about trying to hit Charles Tyson with everything in the power of his office and seeking the death penalty.

Then something happened to Assistant State Attorney Lanna Belohlavek. What happened, we may never know. Was it a UFO that beamed some “love and kindness” rays into her head? Did she find teh Jesus?

Did she just listen to the baby’s momma’s family?

Joanne Mosley’s opinion was that because Charles Tyson has had mental and emotional problems throughout his life, because “something wasn’t right” that night, that those factors should allow Charles Tyson to kill babies and walk free.

If anybody should have hard feelings, it’s us. It happened to us. He doesn’t deserve life in jail. We need to find out what caused this to happen. Something was wrong with Charles. I told people he had emotional problems. Charles didn’t do this out of spite. I love my grandson. I miss him dearly, but I also love Charles.

Joanne Mosley said this despite the fact that she called police and child welfare officials five months before the baby died to explain to them that Charles Tyson and Shameka Mosley weren’t capable of caring for their baby. She also accused Charles Tyson of pulling his son out of her arms during a fight, pulling on his little arm and leg so hard that she thought they would pop off.

Charles Tyson in CourtFor whatever reason, Assistant State Attorney Lanna Belohlavek decided to side with the defendant’s attorney and gave Charles Tyson an offer he couldn’t refuse – plead guilty to second-degree murder and child abuse, and we’ll give you 30 years in prison and take the death penalty off the table.

According to Assistant State Attorney Lanna Belohlavek:

Mosley and her mother are people of amazing forgiveness. They feel like this was a night unlike any other and feel it wouldn’t happen again.

Duh! The baby’s dead. You can’t kill a baby twice.

Well, that little arrangement was suitable for just about everyone involved. The prosecutor, the defense attorney, the defendant…

But the Honorable Sandra McSorley said, “Hold up a minute.”

The Honorable Sandra McSorley was of the opinion that the circumstances that led to Charles Tyson Jr’s death “were egregious to say the least.”

Glad to know that someone else thinks that way.

The judge said she didn’t understand how the prosecution could go from a possible death sentence to 30 years in prison, when he could also be put in prison for life.

Both the prosecutor and the defense attorney hounded the judge for eight minutes out of earshot of the courtroom spectators, trying to get her on their side.

Didn’t work.

Instead of allowing the plea deal, the judge said that Charles Tyson will, indeed, go to trial and the death penalty is still on the table.

We can all look forward to seeing Charles Tyson in court in April of 2008.


Because he has been forgiven by two of those he hurt, Charles Tyson was spared the possibility of the death penalty Monday and instead sentenced to 40 years in prison for tossing his 9-month-old son into a Delray Beach canal nearly two years ago.

Prosecutors had charged Tyson with first-degree murder for the April 2006 death of 9-month-old Charles Jr., but both the baby’s mother and grandmother played an instrumental role in Monday’s resolution of the case, pushing for a sentence less than life and opposing a death sentence altogether.

Shameka Mosley, the baby’s mother, and her mother, Joanne Mosley, have an “amazing capacity” to forgive and expressed their desire for a plea rather than a trial, prosecutor Lanna Belohlavek said.

Tyson, 22, pleaded guilty to second-degree murder and aggravated child abuse and will receive credit for 671 days he has served in jail. He also will be placed on probation for 10 years when he is released.

Kelly Lumadue

Kelly Lumadue had sex with a five-year-old boy back in 1996 while her husband, Leonard “Bud” Lumadue, ran videotape.

Thankfully, “Bud” Lumadue is dead now – cancer got him in 2003.

After he died, Ms. Lumadue threw the videos with their “special moments” out onto the curb for trash collection.

A garbage collector saw the tapes and took them home.

Once he saw what was on them, he turned all that nice video evidence in to the police.

Kelly Lumadue will very likely die in prison, as she may be sentenced to life without parole – in fact that’s the only sentence allowed by Florida law for capital sexual battery.

The boy, now a teenager, doesn’t remember what happened.


On the 18th of September, 2008, 12 years after having sex with a 5-year-old, Kelly Lumadue was sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole.

Joshua Jameson Sagayo

There are children that have a chance at life, and then there are children like 22-month-old Asi Sekona.

Asi Sekona’s first strike? His mother abandoned him.

Second strike? His father went to jail.

The third strike? Asi Sekona had to live with Joshua Jameson Sagayo.

23-year-old Joshua Sagayo and his wife Seteli Sagayo took Asi into their home, due to the fact that Seteli is a cousin of Asi’s mother and that nobody else would.

Joshua’s wife wasn’t so bad, really, which is pretty much the only reason Asi isn’t dead right now.

Joshua, on the other hand, is not only a felony drug charge parolee, but is – now – also a child abuser.

On the sixth of November, 2007, while Seteli was at work, Joshua Sagayo was at home taking care of Asi as well as his own one-year-old son.

While changing a diaper, Asi, like many toddlers, squirmed out of his grasp and ran through the house. Joshua Sagayo, unlike anybody with any sense, grabbed the boy and slammed him down to the ground.

After establishing his dominance, Joshua was able to re-clothe Asi. Unfortunately, Asi, who was in quite a bit of pain, wouldn’t stop crying.

In what could only be called a Mary Poppins moment, Joshua Sagayo picked Asi up again and slammed the boy back down on the couch while screaming “Shut up!” at the toddler.

Well, that didn’t help. Asi continued to cry.

So what else could Joshua Sagayo do?

A) Put the boy in his room.

B) Distract him with a toy.

C) Grab the front of the boy’s jacket and push down as hard as he could

As you can imagine, Joshua chose C), and as a result of a guy described as “good-sized” pressing down on him, Asi started “acting strangely” and “seized up.”

So a child is going into a seizure. What do you do?

A) Put him in a place where he can’t hurt himself by thrashing around and go call 911.

B) Carry him to your car and drive him to the hospital.

C) Try to pry the kid’s mouth open with a pen, and, when that fails, shove a can opener into his mouth.

Yup, he chose C) again.

Joshua Sagayo waited until his wife called to let her know that there was something wrong with Asi, that the toddler looked like someone had knocked him out.

When Joshua drove everyone over to Seteli’s work to pick her up, it was fairly obvious that there was something wrong with Asi. When Seteli asked her husband what had happened, Joshua told her that he had slapped the boy on the back of the head to stop him from crying and Asi had fallen over, hitting his head on the floor. Joshua also told her that he had picked Asi up and shaken him to try to wake the child.

Being a woman of sense (other than that whole marrying Joshua Sagayo thing), Seteli immediately directed Joshua to drive them to the hospital.

Doctors examined Asi and immediately saw the noticeable bruises and welts which were just about covering the toddler’s upper body and face. Less noticeable were the severe, life-threatening brain injuries that left Asi in critical condition.

The police were called and notified that they had a child abuser to come pick up. When Joshua saw the cops coming down the hall, he held out his hands and told the officers, “Do what you have to do.”

Well, they didn’t do anything but get a warrant to listen in on Joshua’s phone calls, which they did the next day, when he talked to his mother.

In one of the recorded calls, Joshua explained to his mother how he needed to smack the kid all day long because the boy was crying and wouldn’t shut up. He told her how he slammed Asi into a few pieces of furniture and onto the floor. He told her everything that he did to the kid, which will make fantastic evidence during his trial.

Joshua Sagayo has been charged with two felony counts of assault.

He will possibly spend the next 30 years in prison.